Last night, H and I skip out on a family birthday party and go out to dinner instead. It was really fun at first. Both flirty with each other, H putting his hand on my leg, the usual stuff.....

We had to eat at the bar due to the long wait for a real table, and all of a sudden here comes one of H buddies from work. A new guy who just started and in fact is waiting for his wife to move here next week. No big deal. This too was fun at first. Of course all flirting stops, hand is moved..yada yada. Guess I should just be thankful that he atleast introduced me.

Then all of a sudden I am invisible. Due to us being at the bar, H head was turned to friend's direction with all converstation. Even the bartender noticed what was happening....but I thought no big deal...and finally H notices what is happening.

All of us were drinking and we were all rambling on about all sorts of stuff....I can't remember how it all came about but H blirts out ".... ".....well when I sleep with your wife, course I don't even know what she looks like!" I am shocked. H and friend laugh. Friend thinks this is funny.

Instead of exploding I TRY to make light of the situation and joke with the bartender and comment on his tongue ring, hoping to slap it right back to H.

Before the night is done, H says some more inappropriate before I finally grab our stuff and tell him its time to go.

We get in the car and fight about this all the way home. We plain out fight.

He saying I am overreacting...HE of course was JUST JOKING.

We have had conversation after conversation about how I don't like these type of jokes. Especially ones at my expense. Especially ones of such disrespect of me as his wife. Especially ones that make me feel really uncomfortable.

I am a full believer in jokes are half truths. Especially when drinking.........

Course we get home and the baby hasn't gone to bed yet. Nothing more is said. He stumbles around, so it is confirmed that he is indeed drunk...

He spends most of the night in the bathroom. And had to get up and go to work this morning, and inturn see the friend we were out with last night.

And here I am. Hurt and angry.

DO you think I am overreacting???!!!

Your husband was very disrespectful to you, his friend, and his friend's wife. I suggest that the two of you get some counseling.

Blue,
Well, its a good thing that you are here and not your husband <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I cant say from what you wrote if there is indeed an affair. Communicate NOW! Counsleing, long talks, whatever it takes. There were times I did the same to my wife, and I was unresponsive to what she was saying. If I could only change that now.

We all marry for different reasons, if we hadn't married with the foundation of love, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING! WORK ON IT!

Hi Blue-
My H is also very "funny" in that way. Although looking back on things I realize it was a cry for him to get another thrill or feel another thrill thinking about possiblitites of "swapping" or "3 ways". Always said in jest but I always wondered what if I was like hey lets go? Most of the times he said these things were during his really guilty days.

I have said from dday on that any one little inappropriate thing is completely unacceptable. H is really trying and so far has done well. The thing is I never thought I had to worry so I didnt. Now that I know I do have to worry the rules have changed. It is a respect thing. If you dont like it he should stop. IMHO, If he doesnt then it may just be some ring of truth to it. And not even that he would act on it but a longing for something else ya know?

One thing I dont get is did he actually cheat on you? Your Hs 8 year old must have been concieved b4 you met him right?

Okay folks,

On this particular board, and this particular group, this would be taken the way you have. I do not blame you. However, In certain circles, this is a NORMAL joke. I know that many of you will not belive this. I am not trying to insult anyone or DJ anyone. I have heard this more times than I can count. I do not support this type of joke but in mechanical trades and some heavy equipment engineering circles this is considered normal office joking .

For Example: Mechanic walks up to his boss and says "do you have any naked pictures of your wife?" His boss replies "no!". The mechanic than asks "do you want some?"

To say this in front of your spouse is STUPID. But, given what I have heard over my career, this would not be anything I would worry about unless the H has a history of A.

Hope this helps,
C-