Late lat night, almost midnight, I was on the phone with my oldest daughter. The other line rang and I clicked over. It was H. He asked for daughter and I told her she was sleeping. He started arguing with me that there was no way she was sleeping blah blah. From there, some how, it evolved into a huge argument about what a bad wife I was and how he was pretending since the beginning. I ended up in tears and he probebly felt elated. I'm no longer answering the phone. I'm now going to screen calls with answering machine and *69 and I won't answer anyone I don't know on my cell. I'm beginning to hate him for what he's doing to me. Maybe it's not worth saving.

Shrug it off. I don't know of anyone who hasn't done the same. I know I did.

But the good sign is that Plan B is having the intended effect on him. If things were just so wonderful in LaLa Land, why would he be vilifying you? He ought to be praising you for cutting him off and ridding him of your uselessness!

WAT

ISL,

WS wanting BS to break PLAN B is to be expected....they want to remain in 'control' and with PLAN B a WS is not in control....and don't like it.....

When it does happen... as in your case.... it helps BS realize how important it becomes for sanity's sake to go DARK on WS and keep him out of your life.... a common reaction to the frustration and loss of control is your WS's reaction..... to be abusive..... and LBusting.....

quote:-----------------------------------------------------
I'm now going to screen calls with answering machine and *69 and I won't answer anyone I don't know on my cell
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....sounds like a good plan..... contact with a WS can be very 'toxic'.... besides being a waste of time....

As it is often said here.... just get back on your horse.... and keep going forward!

ISL.... besides N\C with WS.... if the BS experience is 'typical'.... your next big challenge is how NOT to focus on WS (what could he doing, thinking, feeling), which you can't control, and focus on how YOU are feeling, what you are thinking, what you can do....because THAT you can control.....

...and keep coming here for advice and support....

((((((((((((((((I AM SO LOST))))))))))))))))))))))


P.S. Hi WAT!

Thanks WAT and lunamare. I don't even want to talk to him right now, I really don't. I can't bear his hideous name calling and accusations of my affairs and how he never loved me and so on. And sadly, I don't worry about what he's doing. I'm basically at a point where I don't even care. If this verbally abusive person is what I have to look forward to getting back, I think I'll take a pass. He is repulsive to me this way. It's like talking to a stranger who hates me for some unknown reason.

Can't say that he hates you, but whatever he feels, we know the reason. It's because you took control with Plan B. He HAS to lash out at you because you're not going along with his ideal fantasy life.

Keep thinking of him as a stranger, because he is.

WAT

Very true WAT. I never quite thought of it that way. He has really become so evil I can't even stand to think about him and that's really sad.

Is this guy drinking?

That's the beauty of the alien abduction theory.

Think of him as an imposter, of being controlled by the Mothership, or as a victim of the body snatchers.

Over and over and over we read former WS's accounts of when they were "under the influence." Spooky stuff. Unbelieveable stuff - especially to them.

Stay the course and your H may be contributing to those stories in the future.

WAT

Mkeverydaycnt here.... changed my sign on name as I was tired of having my "personal" stuff critiqued by others (one in particular). I am so sorry you are going through this and wish you all the best. Stay strong... be brave.

believer, strange you should ask if he is drinking because I actually asked him that very question of the phone that night. His reply was "I don't drink". He seemed drunk but I don't know. I think he's just gone into a new dimension of nastiness.

Yea WAT, it's like having a pet alien. He really isn't the man I know any more. I'm not the only one who thinks so either. His entire family thinks he's having a break down. I will try to stay the course but, in all honesty, I'm growing tired quickly.

newstart thanks for your continued caring and support. Strong I can do, brave I can do but sometimes I think I can do it better without him. I hate feeling this way.