why do i feel teh need to confront the other woman?

i am worried their relationship will never end. should i confront and tell her what she's done?

Is the A still going on?

We need more information.

Confronting OW may be a good thing if your snooping has determined that she is being deceived and you can offer her some honesty. For example, a friend here recently called OW and had an hour conversation regarding the lies that her husband was feeding OW. OW, OW's stbxh, and all of WH's friends were under the impression that the BW wanted a divorce and the marriage was all but over.

However, in most instances contacting the OW is not advised. It's not worth lowering yourself, creates undue stress and accomplishs nothing. Exposing to her friends and family...now that's what you should be doing.

Mr. Wondering

dh says he will stop. but i don't believe him, bcos, he claims he has a closeworkign relationship with the OW.

he's overseas right now, but i feel that either one of them will try to keep in contact with one another.

dh says he can speak to anyone he chooses - so should i just prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the worst? but how?

If you do nothing, nothing will change.

He's lying to you if he thinks he can maintain a "close" working relationship with this woman and not stray "anymore". Give me a break.

Friends and co-workers can become lovers but lovers can never become friends or just coworkers again. It just won't work.

I say you expose to his company. What do you have to lose, if he or she is not removed from the workplace equation then your marriage may in fact be doomed. Call up human resources and speak directly with the director and ask him for assistance with saving your marriage and tell him/her about the affair. Best case scenario, you husband gets fired. Sure he'll be angry, sure you may suffer economic repercussions, but those instances your marriage can survive. Time to stand up for yourself and your marriage.

BTW, is OW married...if so, you have a moral obligation to disclose the affair to her husband. Maybe he'll make OW quit the company and your problems will be solved. That should be your first priority.

Mr. Wondering

Your H's attitude is a pretty good sign that the A is still going on.

If you haven't exposed the A yet to OWH (if she's married), his office, his family, etc., perhaps now is the time to consider doing so.