Hi
I'd like to have a discussion about the following Biblical passages on marriage.

"1Cor 7:10- To the married I give this command, not I, but the Lord, A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

1Cor 7:15- But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believeing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to peace

1Cor 7:39- A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wished, but he must belong to the Lord.

Duet 24: 1-6- If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indect about her, and he writes he a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writesher a certificate of divorce, give it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, the her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be ditestable in the eyes of the Lord."

Ok, what I would like to discuss and receive some clarity on is, if a woman is to remain unmarried or reconciled with her husband, if her husband has remarried, how can she be reconciled with him, since remarriage after another marriage is detestable to the Lord.

Am I reading this correctly? Are men and women interchangable in these passages, given that woman can now give men a certificate of divorce? Is it only women who are to remain unmarried?

I'm very confused. And, does infidelty by you or your spouse throw in yet another dynamic?

Can anyone help me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

God bless

evidenceofgrace - Of course infidelity throws in "yet another dynamic." If I wasn't so bone weary of all this discussion after almost 4 years, I'd jump at the chance to discuss this with you. But let's save everyone a lot of time and "cut to the chase."

What is it that YOU want to know about YOUR situation?

God bless.

Hi Forever Hers,


Thank you for your prompt response!

I'm sorry you are feeling bone tired. Infidelity surly can do that to a person. $ years is a long time. I will pray for you.

Cutting to the chase. I'm wondering if I can marry again. I know that may sound silly to some of you, but concerning the above Scripture, I'm not sure.

My XH committed adultery. We divorced. He has remarried. I am sure that most will say of course you can remarry and you should move on. However, I'm having a difficult time finding any scripture which says that is the case.

I'm not terribly interested in remaining single, as Paul says is best. However, if I am not to remarry, I suppose I need to be content with that idea.

Does that help?

God Bless

evidenceofgrace - for the record, it is NOT my marriage, which is essentially recovered, but the system and the pervasive "do it my way and not the Lord's way" that has gotten so tiring. I am flat tired of the "Fight." I am tired of being attacked as being selfish or self-seeking when I advocate for simple obedience to God regardless of what we are feeling(especially when the attackers claim to know Christ themselves yet refuse to humble their will before His will). It is clear to me that the system does not want God any more than the general public wants God. They want Him around when it's "convenient" for them, but not when it might require them to do something they don't "feel like" doing.

This "battle" between fundamental Christianity and liberal Christianity, to say nothing of the battle between Christianity as THE way to salvation and the "rest of the world," has been going on since time immemorial, and it won't end here. The "path" IS a "narrow path," regardless of what "we" humans might want. That especially true for the "I want it NOW!," there's an "easy fix" for everything especially if I have the money to afford it," American/Western civilization mentality.

So, let's address your concern and your question in the context of the whole of Scripture, as I see it.

The "definitive" word regarding your question was given by Jesus Christ. To me, that is not only sufficient, it supercedes ALL other interpretations of other passages of Scripture that might arrive at some contradictory twisting of God's will in the matter.

So let's begin. God "hates" divorce. He does NOT "forbid" divorce. What God does NOT "sanction" is "easy divorce" for purely personal selfish reasons. Jesus made that CLEAR to the Pharasees when they tried to "trap him."

________________________________________________________________________________
"Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
[color:"red"]"Haven't you read,"[/color] he replied, [color:"red"]"that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."[/color]

"Why then," did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, [color:"red"]"Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery."[/color] (Matthew 19:3-9 NIV emphasis added)
________________________________________________________________________________

As a matter of practicality, there IS "male and female" in a marriage. In fact, MARRIAGE itself IS ONLY between a male and a female, unless man continues his penchant for perversion into the arena of marriage also (but that's an aside for another day).

To the point, "spiritually" for the married couple, and in "God's eyes," there is only "one flesh," a "rejoining" of what God separated out from Adam....his "completer," and her "husband". There is, in adultery, only sinning against one's own "flesh" even though there are two physical people who are joined spiritually.

In Jesus's time, the societal "norm" was Patriarcal and women had few "rights." Here in America, women are "more than equal" to men....one need look no further than a "woman's sole right to an abortion for whatever reason SHE chooses" if anyone cares to argue it's still a "male dominated society." Women have granted themselves ALL the rights, and then some, that historically were "reserved" to Men. They have ursurped the role of woman as God created it and as God commanded it following the Fall. They "know better than God." But again, that is a topic of controversial discussion for other day.

The POINT is that Jesus' explanation to the Pharisees applies both to their concept of a "male dominant society" AND to the reality of true situation, a "one flesh" not "two flesh" condition that is created IN marriage.

Hence, "marital unfaithfulness" applies to both men and women. It applies equally to husbands and wives. The FAITHFUL SPOUSE has the right, by God's clear decree, to DIVORCE, as a consequence of adultery or marital unfaithfulness, WITHOUT themselves later committing a sin if they were to remarry. The "caveat" is that should they entertain the thought of remarriage that it ONLY should be to another beliver in Jesus Christ (be ye not unevenly yoked).

God KNOWS your heart. You, me, anyone, can "fool" others if we so desire. Hence the propensity of lies that attend infidelity. But God KNOWS the heart. God also forgives repented sin. EVEN someone who committed adultery and later remarried can have forgiveness IF they repent. But this is such a terribly serious sin to God that the repentance MUST be equally serious and heartfelt. It cannot be a "repentance of conveniece" so that they can "sin with impunity." God will KNOW. But the thought I am trying to get across is that there is NO SIN that is "unforgiveable" except for blashpemy against the Holy Spirit. That means that "even" adultery is forgiveable. But the "warning" is also clear, unrepentant adulterers WILL NOT be in heaven, so don't "fool oneself" into believing they are actually saved if they are not truly repentant of the sin of adultery.

For you, Evidenceofgrace, there is NO "conflict." Your ex-husband committed adultery. You are divorced, which God allows regardless of who filed. You are FREE to marry without sinning anyone you so choose. But please be very careful. A remarriage carries with it the SAME binding nature that Jesus told the Pharisees...."unless for marital unfaithfulness." Further, God has told believers that they are NOT to be unevenly yoked in marriage, so be careful to not open the door to even more unbalance and pain by marrying someone who is NOT a believer.

God has NOT forbidden remarriage. God created man and woman TO BE MARRIED, to complete and complement each other, to be a "whole" and "one flesh."

[color:"red"]"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."[/color]

God "separates" man and wife as a consequence of marital unfaithfulness. Adultery SEPARATES from God. Heartfelt conviction, confession, and repentance "reconnects" to God. God IS a party to EVERY Christian marriage and God CANNOT be a party to sin, it separates as surely as did the "apple" that Adam and Eve ate in defiance and disobedience to God's command. ONLY through Christ are our sins forgiven....all of them....and only through repentance and seeking God's forgiveness CAN the sin be forgiven and only because of Christ's payment for ALL of our sins WILL our sins be forgiven IN Christ.

Jesus made it clear what God's "word" on the subject of remarriage following divorce actually is. "EXCEPT FOR..."

An "exception" meant then what it means now....IF the action falls in the area that is "excepted" from the RULE, then it is NOT committing adultery to remarry, nor is it making the other person commit adultery (assuming THEY have the "right" to marry also).

The "stuff" (I know, it too IS Scripture) you quoted earlier pertains primarily to SEPARATION from a spouse, not divorcing a spouse. It applies to a CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, not a marriage that was "unevenly yoked." You can BET that an unbelieving spouse who leaves WILL commit adultery (human nature being what it is) and you would then also have the right to a divorce and remarriage. BUT, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to live with a believing spouse AS IF they were saved and following God's commands for Husbands or Wives, then you are NOT to divorce the unbelieving spouse without the presence of "marital unfaithfulness."

"In the beginning it was not so...." God CREATED and ESTABLISHED both men and women and the REASON for them....MARRIAGE. The are to work together, be together, complete and compliment each other, check and balance each other, love each other according to God's commands...."one flesh" but two distinct individuals along with a "third" that is God Himself living with, and in, them. While Scripture does not explicitly say it, I think it mirrors the relationship between the "One God, and the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." Not only CAN it exist, it DOES exist despite our crazy human intellect that has run amok in sin.

You are "free" in God's eyes to "pursue your heart" in marriage if that is your choice. But you are not "required" to marry....you can choose to remain single and serve the Lord that way also. God gives YOU the choice and does NOT command either path. The "key" to remember is to keep focused on Christ and becoming more "Christ-like" over time. If the focus remains on Christ, ALL the "fruits of the Spirit" that have been promised WILL be given and WILL become a part of your life. The focus is NEVER supposed to be on the "gifts, the fruit, it is to always be on Christ. THAT focus is what allows Christians to maintain "joy" in the face of terrible persecution, trial, and tribulation....because it is NOT the circumstances that determines our "joy," but it is WHO Jesus IS and WHAT Jesus did for us that is what we derive our joy from.

God bless you and grant you His peace and wisdom as you walk in His will.

Evidenceofgrace- It just occurred to me that you might be referring to a remarriage to your former husband.

If that is the case, then let's discuss that further. It is NOT "forbidden," but a whole lot of "being sure about a changed heart" would be required. In addition, if he remarried, he IS NOT free to divorce unless she committed adultery. The issues get much more tangled in a divorce/marriage/divorce situation and I would advise extreme caution before going down the road of a remarriage to someone whose actions have spoken loudly against "obedience to" and "love for" God.

God bless.

FH

Thank you for your reply. I just spent 1/2 hour responding and then lost it! I don't have the time right now to retype but I will be back!

You've given me much to think on.

Blessings to you!

I have had that happen to me many times and it is VERY frustrating. What I do now, in most cases in general, and in all cases where I am writing long response or in a "heavy discusssion," is to periodically copy everything in the "reply" box to my clipboard, "just in case," OR I open a WORD window and type the response in Word and then copy and paste into the "reply" box when I'm done.

Perhaps you may find something similar to be of help.

God bless.

evidenceofgrace - for the record, it is NOT my marriage, which is essentially recovered, but the system and the pervasive "do it my way and not the Lord's way" that has gotten so tiring. I am flat tired of the "Fight." I am tired of being attacked as being selfish or self-seeking when I advocate for simple obedience to God regardless of what we are feeling(especially when the attackers claim to know Christ themselves yet refuse to humble their will before His will). It is clear to me that the system does not want God any more than the general public wants God. They want Him around when it's "convenient" for them, but not when it might require them to do something they don't "feel like" doing.

**Forever Hers, I’m sorry if my post brought about feelings of being attacked. I’m not sure what system you are speaking of (MB?), but I can tell you that I am looking for the truth and to seek His face**

This "battle" between fundamental Christianity and liberal Christianity, to say nothing of the battle between Christianity as THE way to salvation and the "rest of the world," has been going on since time immemorial, and it won't end here. The "path" IS a "narrow path," regardless of what "we" humans might want. That especially true for the "I want it NOW!," there's an "easy fix" for everything especially if I have the money to afford it," American/Western civilization mentality.

**Oh, I certainly agree with this. We do live in a society where life and much more is no longer valued. **

The "definitive" word regarding your question was given by Jesus Christ. To me, that is not only sufficient, it supercedes ALL other interpretations of other passages of Scripture that might arrive at some contradictory twisting of God's will in the matter.

So let's begin. God "hates" divorce. He does NOT "forbid" divorce. What God does NOT "sanction" is "easy divorce" for purely personal selfish reasons. Jesus made that CLEAR to the Pharasees when they tried to "trap him."

**Yep, got that**

"Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

**Let’s talk about one flesh for a moment. Based on the above scripture, the one flesh would seem to imply a first marriage, since the man is leaving his parents. And how can a one flesh union that God joined together be destroyed by a law of divorce given by man? (Maybe this is a discussion for another time) **

"Why then," did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery." (Matthew 19:3-9 NIV emphasis added)

As a matter of practicality, there IS "male and female" in a marriage. In fact, MARRIAGE itself IS ONLY between a male and a female, unless man continues his penchant for perversion into the arena of marriage also (but that's an aside for another day).

**I certainly wasn’t implying that man and woman are the same. I was simply asking if the rules/punishment applied to both genders, since the verse was about the wife being married and defiled. If it was the husband that remarried, could he come back without being defiled? And yes, I agree that marriage IS between one man and one woman. You will get no argument from me! **

To the point, "spiritually" for the married couple, and in "God's eyes," there is only "one flesh," a "rejoining" of what God separated out from Adam....his "completer," and her "husband". There is, in adultery, only sinning against one's own "flesh" even though there are two physical people who are joined spiritually.

**Interesting. Perhaps that would explain the intense pain that BS feels while the WS in committing the sin since the sin in against one’s own flesh. **

In Jesus’ time, the societal "norm" was Patriarchal and women had few "rights." Here in America, women are "more than equal" to men....one need look no further than a "woman's sole right to an abortion for whatever reason SHE chooses" if anyone cares to argue it's still a "male dominated society." Women have granted themselves ALL the rights, and then some, that historically were "reserved" to Men. They have usurped the role of woman as God created it and as God commanded it following the Fall. They "know better than God." But again, that is a topic of controversial discussion for other day.

**So, if women are to follow Scripture, are we to ignore the *rights* we how have? Are we to walk out living as having few if any rights? I’m not sure what you are saying here **

The POINT is that Jesus' explanation to the Pharisees applies both to their concept of a "male dominant society" AND to the reality of true situation, a "one flesh" not "two flesh" condition that is created IN marriage

**Again, is one flesh created in all marriages….even adulterous marriages (which, if I understand correctly, would be any marriage that is born from an unrepentant heart) **

Hence, "marital unfaithfulness" applies to both men and women. It applies equally to husbands and wives. The FAITHFUL SPOUSE has the right, by God's clear decree, to DIVORCE, as a consequence of adultery or marital unfaithfulness, WITHOUT themselves later committing a sin if they were to remarry. The "caveat" is that should they entertain the thought of remarriage that it ONLY should be to another believer in Jesus Christ (be ye not unevenly yoked).

**Are you saying that because of the *exception* clause for divorce, that is the same clause that says it’s ok to marry again? I’m not seeing that. **

God KNOWS your heart. You, me, anyone, can "fool" others if we so desire. Hence the propensity of lies that attend infidelity. But God KNOWS the heart. God also forgives repented sin. EVEN someone who committed adultery and later remarried can have forgiveness IF they repent. But this is such a terribly serious sin to God that the repentance MUST be equally serious and heartfelt. It cannot be a "repentance of convenience" so that they can "sin with impunity." God will KNOW. But the thought I am trying to get across is that there is NO SIN that is "unforgivable" except for blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. That means that "even" adultery is forgivable. But the "warning" is also clear, unrepentant adulterers WILL NOT be in heaven, so don't "fool oneself" into believing they are actually saved if they are not truly repentant of the sin of adultery.

For you, Evidenceofgrace, there is NO "conflict." Your ex-husband committed adultery. You are divorced, which God allows regardless of who filed. You are FREE to marry without sinning anyone you so choose. But please be very careful. A remarriage carries with it the SAME binding nature that Jesus told the Pharisees...."unless for marital unfaithfulness." Further, God has told believers that they are NOT to be unevenly yoked in marriage, so be careful to not open the door to even more unbalance and pain by marrying someone who is NOT a believer

**I’m NOT trying to be difficult here,…I’m really not. But all I see is that I was FREE to divorce, not free to remarry. **

God has NOT forbidden remarriage. God created man and woman TO BE MARRIED, to complete and complement each other, to be a "whole" and "one flesh."

**I agree that He hasn’t forbidden it, but just because it’s not forbidden doesn’t’ mean it’s blessed, right? **

"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

**And isn’t divorce man separating? If God joined you together, how, without death, can you be separated, regardless of the circumstances involved? **

God "separates" man and wife as a consequence of marital unfaithfulness.

**Where is the scripture on this? **

Adultery SEPARATES from God.

**As does all sin((

Heartfelt conviction, confession, and repentance "reconnects" to God. God IS a party to EVERY Christian marriage and God CANNOT be a party to sin, it separates as surely as did the "apple" that Adam and Eve ate in defiance and disobedience to God's command. ONLY through Christ are our sins forgiven....all of them....and only through repentance and seeking God's forgiveness CAN the sin be forgiven and only because of Christ's payment for ALL of our sins WILL our sins be forgiven IN Christ.

**Amen!**

Jesus made it clear what God's "word" on the subject of remarriage following divorce actually is. "EXCEPT FOR..."An "exception" meant then what it means now....IF the action falls in the area that is "excepted" from the RULE, then it is NOT committing adultery to remarry, nor is it making the other person commit adultery (assuming THEY have the "right" to marry also).

**Hmmm,,,,so it is possible (since I was not the first wife- and adultery was committed in that marriage as well) that he was not *free* to marry to begin with. Hmmm….so is it possible that my marriage was never joined by God to begin with? I need to think on this one a bit **

The "stuff" (I know, it too IS Scripture) you quoted earlier pertains primarily to SEPARATION from a spouse, not divorcing a spouse. It applies to a CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, not a marriage that was "unevenly yoked." You can BET that an unbelieving spouse who leaves WILL commit adultery (human nature being what it is) and you would then also have the right to a divorce and remarriage. BUT, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to live with a believing spouse AS IF they were saved and following God's commands for Husbands or Wives, then you are NOT to divorce the unbelieving spouse without the presence of "marital unfaithfulness."

**As in 1 Cor, ho were do you understand that this is spoken to the separated, not divorced women? And where do you read that this applies only to Christian marriages, not those unequally yoked? Do I need to read further? **

**I want to marry again. I’ve been praying for God to bring me that spouse He has chosen. I’ve waited a long time. That is where all this questioning comes from, since I’m not seeing answers on either side **

"In the beginning it was not so...." God CREATED and ESTABLISHED both men and women and the REASON for them....MARRIAGE. The are to work together, be together, complete and compliment each other, check and balance each other, love each other according to God's commands...."one flesh" but two distinct individuals along with a "third" that is God Himself living with, and in, them. While Scripture does not explicitly say it, I think it mirrors the relationship between the "One God, and the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." Not only CAN it exist, it DOES exist despite our crazy human intellect that has run amok in sin.

**Men and women were created for marriage? Why so many single Christians? Those that long to be married? **

**I understand what you are saying about the *3*. If Christ isn’t in your marriage, it will surely fall apart, even if the couple remains together.((

You are "free" in God's eyes to "pursue your heart" in marriage if that is your choice. But you are not "required" to marry....you can choose to remain single and serve the Lord that way also. God gives YOU the choice and does NOT command either path. The "key" to remember is to keep focused on Christ and becoming more "Christ-like" over time. If the focus remains on Christ, ALL the "fruits of the Spirit" that have been promised WILL be given and WILL become a part of your life. The focus is NEVER supposed to be on the "gifts, the fruit, it is to always be on Christ. THAT focus is what allows Christians to maintain "joy" in the face of terrible persecution, trial, and tribulation....because it is NOT the circumstances that determines our "joy," but it is WHO Jesus IS and WHAT Jesus did for us that is what we derive our joy from.

**Thank you for reminding me that the focus is NOT on the fruit, but on the Maker. Seeking His face is always more important than seeking His hand. Joy is in who Jesus is…not what He can do…since He’s already made the most sacrifice! **

God bless you and grant you His peace and wisdom as you walk in His will.

**Thank you, Forever Hers. I greatly appreciate your time! Blessings to you **

Evidenceofgrace- It just occurred to me that you might be referring to a remarriage to your former husband. If that is the case, then let's discuss that further. It is NOT "forbidden," but a whole lot of "being sure about a changed heart" would be required. In addition, if he remarried, he IS NOT free to divorce unless she committed adultery. The issues get much more tangled in a divorce/marriage/divorce situation and I would advise extreme caution before going down the road of a remarriage to someone whose actions have spoken loudly against "obedience to" and "love for" God.

**Actually, remarriage to my XWH was a question I was asking. I realize that it will never happen unless the Lord gets a hold of him and brings him to the place of repentance. I totally understand that. Added to the fact he is remarried again, it seems unlikely that would happen, but life is strange! However, if it IS God’s will for that to happen (which I still struggle with), that last thing I want to do is muddy the waters even further by remarrying myself.

I will seek His face. I will seek His will and ask for clarity and truth as He wants for my life. That’s the best and only way.

Thank you again!**

** On a side note here, I just want to say that I am not free of sin....not even adultery. I'm had my share of bad choices and suffered for those choices. Perhaps part of the reason that I'm questioning remarriage or not is because somewhere in the depths of my heart I still love the man I married....yes, even after all that has happened. Maybe it's because just now, pondering this, I've realized that I am NO better than he, except I have opened my heart and let the Son shine in. It wasn't always that way, tho, and I know if God can reach me, there is hope for all.

I suppose I need to continue to wait and see what the Lord has planned. What's several years in God terms? He has restored me to Him....the least I can do is try and wait.

God Bless

No, you didn’t do anything. Yes, the “system” I was speaking about is the MB discussion forums.



First things first. The “one flesh” condition is NOT simply created in the marriage, any sexual union of a man and a woman forms it. “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know the he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” (Gen.2:24) But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him is spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God in your body.” (1Cor 6:15-20 NIV emphasis added)

It is NOT the “one flesh” condition that is destroyed, it is the marriage covenant that is broken both by “marital unfaithfulness” and by “legal decree.”



Yes, it applies to both genders. Women of that time period did NOT have the right to divorce their husbands, divorce was the exclusive prerogative of men, by JEWISH law, and Jesus was speaking directly to the Jews of that day.



Perhaps that is part of it, but the primary reason for the pain is the betrayal of adultery…period.



What I am saying is that ALL Christians (all “brides of Christ”) should walk in humble obedience to God, not selfishness or self-centered desires.



Yes, a physical “one flesh” is created by the sex act regardless of the presence or absence of a marriage. The “spiritual one flesh” is what is created along with the physical “one flesh” in a Christian marriage where the husband and wife are “indwelt” by the Holy Spirit.



Yes, that is precisely what I am saying. Go back and re-read Matthew 19:3-9 and pay particular attention to verse 9. “ …and marries another…”

Jesus is saying that remarriage is okay, but NOT unless the reason for the previous divorce was marital unfaithfulness. Otherwise not only you, yourself, would be committing adultery, but you would also be causing your new spouse to be committing adultery with you. What Jesus was telling the Pharisees was that the “easy divorce” they allowed DID cause much adultery. ONLY if the cause for the divorce was “marital unfaithfulness” did the FAITHFUL spouse have “God’s blessing” that they COULD divorce AND not also commit the sin of adultery IF they later married someone else.



See the prior referenced passage in Matthew 19. You CAN remarry. But let’s not get overly into “Rules.” You MUST remember that THE issue at stake is always a truly repentant heart whenever we may have sinned. Christ took ALL of our sins, past, present, and future and through His death He paid the penalty for them in full for all who believe in Him and accept His gift of forgiveness.

Therefore, even in a marriage that was “sinful,” the surrendering of the lives of the husband and wife TO God, through Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior CLEANSES them from all sin. “Consequences” of prior sinful choices may still remain to be dealt with (for example, an “other child” of an STD), but the SIN is forgiven and a marriage that honors God CAN be created in Christ.



God blesses marriages centered in Christ, whether entered into by virgins who believe in Christ prior to marriage or by those who later come to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. THAT IS what forgiveness of sins and a “new creation” is all about.



This previous answer still applies. God "separates" man and wife as a consequence of marital unfaithfulness.



Didn’t you just answer your own question? Sin, including adultery, separates “man” from God. And unrepentant adulterer(ess) will NOT be heaven. That makes it clear that if someone professes to be a Christian but engages in adultery and will NOT repent of that sin, they never WERE saved to begin with and only claimed to be Christian for some reason or other, like for convenience.


As I said previously: Heartfelt conviction, confession, and repentance "reconnects" to God. God IS a party to EVERY Christian marriage and God CANNOT be a party to sin, it separates as surely as did the "apple" that Adam and Eve ate in defiance and disobedience to God's command. ONLY through Christ are our sins forgiven....all of them....and only through repentance and seeking God's forgiveness CAN the sin be forgiven and only because of Christ's payment for ALL of our sins WILL our sins be forgiven IN Christ.

**Amen!**



Yes, biblically speaking, that is a possibility. Again, it goes back to the issue of whether or not someone has really been convicted of their own sinful state and sought forgiveness through Jesus Christ. But “being free to marry” is NOT the most basic issue. Even if a marriage was not entered into “according to God,” ALL sin can be forgiven and a “new start” made through accepting Christ as Lord and Savior.



Okay, women DID NOT have the right to divorce their husbands, no matter how bad, cruel, or despicable they might have been, according to Jewish law. Men COULD divorce for any reason they chose, per Jewish law. So let’s read the passage in particular so you can see what it DOES say.

“To the married I give his command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must no separate from her husband. But if she does (let’s say, to get away from a physically abusive husband, for example) , he must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” (1Cor 7:10-11 NIV emphasis added)

Men HAD the right to divorce by Jewish Law. But previously Jesus had “corrected” the Pharisees on this subject and said that ONLY “marital unfaithfulness” was grounds FOR a divorce. Yet, here in 1 Corinthians, Paul, speaking FOR the Lord, says that “a husband must not divorce his wife.” Divorce was RAMPANT in those days. Not only did Paul put a restriction on wives, he put a HUGE restriction on the “have it my way” crowd of husbands. ONLY the one exception that Jesus granted was allowed for a divorce. Since women HAD no right to a divorce in those days, a wife divorcing her husband was not an issue. Today, it IS an issue, and Jesus’ clear statement of the only justifiable reason for a Divorce, for either a man or a woman, still stands.

For marriages that are “unequally yoked,” the 1 Corinthian 7 passage continues with instructions concerning those marriages and the potential for divorce that applies to “non-Christian” marriages.



Various reasons. Most have to do with availability where one lives and/or selfish perfectionism and/or personal choice. It also has to do with how one defines a “Christian.” I know several folks who claim to be “Christians,” yet are not according to traditional fundamental definitions of “Christian.” It is equally obvious that there are many “wolves” in “sheep’s clothing” and that many of such will be told by Christ, “Away from me, I never knew you.”



You will never “muddy the waters” if you were to marry a believer. God doesn’t work that way. But YOU can “muddy the waters” if continue to “carry a torch” for one has chosen a path away from God.



You are quite welcome. I am happy that you might find anything useful in my responses to you.



None of us free from sin. None of us is “better” than anyone else. Christians are simply forgiven and will spend eternity WITH God in heaven and no eternally separated from God in He11.

Regarding the underlined part of your quote; I am not in the least surprised. LOVE NEVER FAILS. LOVE can be rejected by the intended recipient. Think of it this way, it is very possible you do still love your husband. God loves EVERY person, and Jesus died for every person because “God so loved the world….” But despite God loving everyone, His justice also demands that the love be returned, and returned in ONLY one acceptable way….through acceptance of Jesus Christ as one’s personal Lord and Savior. As I told my wife back at the beginning of our “mess,” regardless of her choice, I will continue to love her until I die even if we are not living together.

Thankfully, she repented and we began our recovery.



Waiting on the Lord is perhaps our “toughest challenge” as Christians. Can you imagine how it was for people like Noah or Abraham and Sarah? How LONG they waited for God to fulfill His promise to them. But we TRUST God, and that is what we hold dearly, knowing our heavenly Father will be faithful to ALL of His promises to those who love Him and who are called by Him.

God Bless

Hi ForeverHers

I don't have a lot of time right now, but I wanted to thank you again for taking the time to explain in such detail as you did. I really do appreciate it.

I will go back and reread what you've written and read the scripture associated with it, also. I'm still a bit on the cautious side of this, but I pray God will open my eyes to the truth.

God bless you on your recovery. How wonderful your wife has repented and is willing and wanting a Christ-centered marriage. May His blessing pour out on you.

I beleive that waiting Is one of the most difficult parts of the Christian walk,,,,that and surrender! I was reading of Abraham and Sarah just the other night and thought to myself, we'll I sure would have had a bit of trouble with the news that I was pregnant at Sarahs age!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> God's promise will come to pass, He can't lie!

And just for the record, I'm not carrying a torch for my XH. I've let him go and I've turned it over to God. He's free from me and able to do as he pleases. God removed hims from my life for a reason, and I'm trusting Him for my future.

God bless you!