Still in home from a previous marriage. Still sleeping in bed from previous marriage.
Oh lordy, that would be me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
But only for practical, financial reasons! The mortgage on my apartment's almost all paid. No sense looking for another house if I can relieve myself of some financial debt for a few years. Besides, it's a decent apartment! Unfortunately also, the warranty on our mattress (we have a custom made mattress) is longer than our marriage. I'm still sleeping on the same bed and using the mattress. Until I meet a SO, or until the mattress is worn from usage, no sense changing it.
I read a book by Steven Arterburn & Meg Rinck recently and they've listed a few red flags. Here it is:
The Angry Man - Is passive or active, subtle or direct with this rage
- You become the target
- Sees women as good/bad, madonna/******, perfect/worthless
- Is uptight, obsessive, demanding, perfectionist
- Rages when you have needs. Discount others and their needs
Women to whom he is attracted:
- Care taker
- People pleaser
- Someone he thinks will 'take it'
- Someone who lets others dominate her
- Someone who is apt to blame herself for any problems
Controller - Doing things 'right' more important than relationship
- Irritated, angry when you mess up
- Critical most of the time
- Close-minded, has established ways and will not vary
- Uses intimidation to force others to do it his way
Women to whom he is attracted
- Insecure, unsure of herself (male chauvinist controller wants a confident woman who is willing to meet his every need)
- Loyal & devoted
- Willing to be possessed
- willing to be controlled
- Willing to let him make all decisions
Wonderful Guy - He's too good to be true
-Goes to extremes
- His main goal is to have power over you
- Can talk his way out of anything
- Self-centered, self absorbed, grandoise
Women to whom he is attracted:
- Beautiful
- Smart
- Willing to give him all the attention
- Willing to be used & discarded
- Devoted & adoring
Addict - Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual aspects of life affected by addiction
- Denies he has a problem, despite preoccupation
- Addictive behaviour escalates with greater consequences
- Acts distant, moody, even abusive
- You sense something is wrong, even if not sure what it is
Women to whom he is attracted
- Believes in the rules, don't fret, don't talk, don't trust
- Is used to living in stress and chaos(usually family member had a problem of some sort)
- Has troubles maintaining boundaries
- Caretaker-martyr personality. Excessive caring
- Did not receive adequate acceptance as a child
Liar Liar - You're suspicious he is lying to you
- When caught he is without genuine shame, remorse
- He is unable to emphatise w/others
- He's affable, charming outside. inside: cold & heartless. Puts you down with/o chagrin
- Takes charge easily. Others follow gladly.
His women:
- Vulnerable, naive
- Young (if older, gullible)
- Wealthy if possible
- Trusts men more than self; accepts what is told without questions
- Overly subservient, caretakers, nuturers
- Lonely, widowed, divorced, no kids or kids gone or busy
- Honest, to a fault, herself
Eternal Kid - Is self centered, either sweetly or arrogantly
- Irresponsible at the core. limits are unknown
- Chauvinistic. Sees men as more important than women
- Is in a dream world, does not learn from mistakes
- If a User, he has a temper. Lashes out when he wants to be left alone
His women:
- Competent, knows what she is doing
- Doesn't mind being used financially, emotionally, mentally
- Is self-sufficient, or willing to live in poverty
- Willing to take all responsibility, leaving him to do as he pleases
- Will take care of him, but then will leave him alone.
Cowardly Lion - Remains silent passive when they ought to speak
- Think of themselves first "take care of number 1"
- Tend to be resentful and passive agressive
- Some are chameleons, changeable
- His faith in God is very weak
His women:
- Complements his weak areas
- A risk taker
- Solid in convictions, perfectionist
- Extroverted, strong
- If a bully, a timid woman who will acquiese
Phew! that was a lot... there are a few more types and red flags, I'm afraid I'll get told off for copyrights. I know the above is all about men, all sterotyped, but I would like to see some red flags and types of women too, just so that I can be more aware.