Nams,

Thanks for the motivation I needed to drag my couch (bought with ex) out onto the curb for donation tomorrow! Out with the old - In with the new!

Red Flags for me?

pessimist
looking for someone to give him "happy"
lives outside his means

Oh, so I married the cowardly lion. Nothing ever gets done with them.

Does not brush teeth regularly.

Em

Wow, my Ex have similar qualities of the following:

A)Wonderful Guy
- He's too good to be true
-Goes to extremes
- His main goal is to have power over you
- Can talk his way out of anything
- Self-centered, self absorbed, grandoise

B)Liar Liar
- You're suspicious he is lying to you
- When caught he is without genuine shame, remorse
- He is unable to emphatise w/others
- He's affable, charming outside. inside: cold & heartless. Puts you down with/o chagrin
- Takes charge easily. Others follow gladly.

C)Eternal Kid
- Is self centered, either sweetly or arrogantly
- Irresponsible at the core. limits are unknown
- Chauvinistic. Sees men as more important than women
- Is in a dream world, does not learn from mistakes
- If a User, he has a temper. Lashes out when he wants to be left alone

D)Cowardly Lion
- Remains silent passive when they ought to speak
- Think of themselves first "take care of number 1"
- Tend to be resentful and passive agressive
- Some are chameleons, changeable
- His faith in God is very weak

Scary huh?

...and if they do speak, it is to say, "alright, so I made a mistake..." when in fact they made a major blunder that cost you something near and dear to you.

Everytime my H "made a mistake", my property got broken, my credit ruined, or something equally "trivial" in his eyes.

So... to this list I add: "trivializing things that are vitally important" and "resenting having to accept responsibility for one's own mistakes".

Immovingon, WE MARRIED THE SAME MAN!!! Run!!!

LOL.

Now, a definite green flag for me would be... hee hee... foot massages... and if he cooks too, whoa!!

#1 red flag: Your gut. If something doesn't feel right, then run, don't walk, to the nearest exit!

Married/separated/on the rebound

Talking incessantly about themselves.

Talking too loud as if they're trying to draw attention to themselves.

Name dropping. Bragging.

Putting down other people.

Not making eye contact.

Touching you too soon.

Having only acquaintances and not true friends.

Always having to be the big spender (spending beyond their means). Showing off. Flashing the cash, clothes, car, etc.

Making comments about other women in your presence.

Telling dirty jokes, using foul language (Hello? What happened to trying to make a good impression?)

Calling you right after your date ends to push for the next date.

Too much contact too soon. Pushing too hard for your address or to pick you up in his car.

Trying to get sex on the first night.

Talking too much about ex's. Bragging about past conquests.

Bragging about his physical prowess. I actually had a guy (MM that has a crush on me... jerk) ask me what I thought was average penis size. After I said 6 inches he informed me that he was way above average. I guess he thought that would make him irresistible to me?

Where there's smoke, there's fire. If the majority of other people say unkind things about your date, then be careful!

I run background checks for my single friends if they choose to go out on the second date (I work for a police department). If you really like the guy/girl, it's worth the 10 bucks to do it yourself. You can also find a world of information about someone on the internet. If you expect to be dating for awhile, it might be worth it to pay for a subscription to one of the websites that does background checks.

These seem to be mainly female concerns. Most men I know can after a few years, separate themselves from the house and the bed they occupied when married. There are good reasons to keep the house: It is a unique design, it is where the kids were raised and is the 'family' home to them, and so on. Keep in mind that houses can be redecorated and personalized to reflect the new occupant and his or her new spouse.

Yes, I would replace the bed if it bothered a new wife or fiance.

1. Never married.

2. No children. I get along better with fellow parents.

3. Been divorced a very, very long time (15+ years) unless they have a very good reason such as raising a disabled child.

4. Weak finances. She reached 50+ years and still can only afford to rent a crummy apartment, has no retirement accounts, and has to borrow to buy a 14 year old used car!! Something is wrong.

5. Overweight and out of shape. No, she won't change to keep up with my active lifestyle.