Found out the other day that WS was trying to secure a £25000 ($40000), against our house which is already sold just waiting for contracts to be signed.

He had given all my personal details to the loan company and had told them he continues to reside at this address.
I explained the situation to them and the loan has been denied.

My attorney has sent a letter to his attorney to ask for an explanation.

Today my son takes a phonecall asking for WS, he expalined that he no longer lives here. The person who called was from another loan company and WS has, obviously given them my phone number if not my address but at least this time the loan was only in his name.

Why if they leave us for OW do they think they have a right to continue to use us for their own ends. I know this is a bit of a vent but it has really got to me today and I dont know how to deal with it as I am currently in plan B.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Miffy 1

Why? Because he has been alienated from those who really love him, including himself.

Advice? Keep up the good work and expect to keep putting out fires. He seems bent t/b on a destructive course. Protect yourself financially, mentally and emotionally.

Inform your immediate support group of his antics. Come up with a protection plan for you and your children.

take care,
L.

Thanks Orchid,

Just written to second finance company explaining the situation, I'll leave it to them to decide what to do, think I'm getting to the point where I dont care anymore as long as the children and I are ok.

I know WS is taking a destructive course but I am not in a position to help him, not that he thinks anything is wrong - I am just gonna sit back and wait for the fall.

Miffy 1

Good. Now if you are ready, we can help you with a plan. Have you read SAA or HN/HN? How about Love must be tough by Dr James Dobson? Sounds like you need to learn about identifying your personal boundaries and plan B.

Will check back in tonight.

L.

Hi Orchid,

I've read SAA and know a little about plan a and b. Plan b is not difficult as WS and I have had very little contact since d day and he lives out of town now.

He does TM the kids around once a fortnight but they refuse to reply to him, although the texts are beginning to sound more desparate- OD likens them to a cry for help.

Since d day I have tried too keep myself busy and go out regularly with friends and the family and the house sale also keeps me on the go. I shall be moving in with my OD and SIL until I find a place of my own- she is pregnant so we will be doing a lot of baby talk and shopping.

If you have any ideas for what to do next I would love to hear them,

Thanks
Miffy1

Read Hn/Hn and Love must be tough. You need to prepare for plan B.

What recovery plans do you have in place for yourself and your children? R your finances for yourself and your children secured? Many a WS and OP will try to steal from their own families to fund the A. Isn't that horrible? One WS even kicked his W and 2 children (10 year old step daughter and 1 year old son). That WS even tried to take the son and make him call the OW 'mama' then tried to pass of OW as the baby's mom for a 'father's' day present. Is that sick or what?

I had the 'privilege' of delivering the RO to him personally. Myself along with another BS' friend and 2 handsome and very tall police officers. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

That WS threw out his family on the street late at night w/o a car, no cash and no credit cards. They didn't even have extra clothes. His parents were out of the country at the time and of course his mother sided with her son. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I shared a few words with his mom and dad......by then they had the real story and felt real stupid.....I met them at the custody hearing.

So the lesson learned is never give the WS the benefit of any doubt. They may use it against you and your family.

L.