In plan A can I call/email/talk TOO much? As of today. I am getting no response from emails, no answered calls or shortness if he does answer and last night- avoidance. Do I just keep trudging along talking to him/calling/emailing even if I get no response? Wont he see this as desparate behavior ? Just not sure what the boundaries are for going overboard with "loving him!"

I don't personally think plan A involves tons of e-mailing, calls, etc. That is smothering, though your intentions are good--WS's are unable, it seems, to interpret your loving gestures as that. Your gestures stomp on their affair territory.

If you're e-mailing and calling and confessing your undying love--and you're getting no response--I for sure would stop.

Plan A is making yourself the most atractive spouse you can be in all aspects. Meeting your WS's emotional needs. Of course he needs to know you love him and are willing to work on this.

Plan A is not to be confused as being a doormat. And I am afraid if you keep sending thses loving e-mails, etc, he will see you that way. ANd you are setting yourself up for more hurt.

Plan A allowed me to have so much respect for how I was handling this crisis in my life.

Have you posted your sitch yet?