ok guys....I hate PMS...it fuels feelings you wouldn't normally have.

So you guys know my stitch right....started seeing a guy in nov. then december he starts really getting feelings freaks out calls it off...i play the friend card and thats what i became was just his friend...he then the last week of december he approached me and told me what he had been feeling and how it scared him because he hasn't had that much experience with relationships(he's 28).i think he had one relationship that didn't end well he was really hurt by someone. He wanted us to start seeing each other again. So I talked about it with him and we both agreed...he knows my feelings for him which at this point run pretty deep. we have been seeing each other again since the beginning of january you could say...and we normally schedule time to be together or go do something when my son is with his father. well i just found out i will sparsly be able to see him for the next month....he is leaving this thursday to go to his parents up north. then he is coming home for a few days. then he is going back up the next weekend i have my son the weekend after that. then in the first part of april he is going to mexico with his family (they plan a family vacation every year) for a week. I just feel depressed and not sure what to do......i am not sure what I am feeling....maybe it's the hormones.....somebody explain this to me before I go insane...I just wanna cry.

anybody...don't all speak up at once...i know you guys arn't THAT shy... 39 views and not one comment?

OK, I'll give it a go.

You REALLY like this guy. You're very happy he's back in your life & you want to spend as much time as possible with him. Life has intervened in such a way that for the next, what seems like forever, you won't be able to be with him as much as you'd like.

The fact that you can't be with him is bad enough but there's also the added worry of what may happen in his absence. After all, he did panic once he may just do it again.

You have no control & that's scary. But you know what? We never have control over others. All you can do is feel secure in your relationship with him or not. Be completely honest evaluating what's going & how you feel about it then understand your position & what you can do within that.

could it be residual fear of abandonment from my ex husband leaving me?

ok so I am bewildered and dumbfounded....ok so things with the guy I have been seeing are going but I find myself questioning things. He is still kind of in the phase where he can't move too quick. I will go over and he calls to me to let myself in. I'll drop my stuff and come over to see what he's doing and give him a hello kiss...it all feels like a relationship...so comfortable. Well he is really busy these next few weeks his family is going on a trip to mexico...he's been running around trying to get tons of stuff together. i saw him the weekend before last we spent part of sat. together and it was great. We even spent some cuddle time together and would have taken a nap had he not wanted to go surfing that afternoon...I agree to take the chance while you can....the weather out here has sucked lately. well the next time I talked to him was last friday. He was really busy and it wasn't a long call....i asked him if it was possible to run an errand for me. at first he said he couldn't then he changed his mind and said he could....he seemed a bit distant. I know he's really busy but it bothered me.....i called the next day and left a voicemail apologizing if I did or said anything to upset him. I haven't heard back from him. now just the other day I was on myspace (yes I gave in I have one)..... he has one but doesn't know I know about it. He has only 2 people on his myspace one I think is his sister. he never updates his myspace or gets comments or leaves anyone else comments. but by chance i checked one of the chicks on his friends lists myspace and he is now on her myspace friends top 8 list as number 7. There are other guys before him...but this bothered me...but I don't want to bring it up and cause a scene. Does anyone have any advice....I am kind of freaking out.?

I don't know your situation, but if you haven't been divorced long (or at all), maybe it's better to take some time for healing? Feelings of going crazy are more common for those just recently separated or divorced, and who have not yet healed.

AGG

I have to agree with AGoodGuy... Could it be you feel you need someone? That if you find the right guy, everything will be happy again? (I know, cause I was there at one point). It is so incredibly important to heal so you can get to the point where you are happy with who you are. I am almost 2 years into it, I dated, nobody made me happy. Now, I cooled the jets a little from dating, and I am finding some inner-happiness. Maybe you should wait???

I don't know your situation, but I have walked in your shoes...

Now, if you feel you are ready for relationships... Just be yourself. To attract a man though, show you are interested, but don't come on strong. Make him work for you.


That is my $.02!!!

Keith

oh gosh I have been single quiet awhile...it's not so much as a need to be with someone its that I don't understand his communication or lack of communication. we have been seeing each other for a few months and we did break up for one month and i strictly played the friends role...and he came back to me. He was the one who needed space before and then realized his mistake. but it's like a roller coaster...one day everything is great then another day it's more non-chalant....i can tell you probally when he gets back from mexico he will have missed me alot and want to spend time together.

Is he PMSing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I wish it was as easy as that. I haven't heard from him since friday. He was supposed to buy me some raffle tickets for an event this weekend and call me when he got them...the fact he hasn't called is worrying me....>.> <.< I really wanted those raffle tickets...... Oh and I do miss talking to him too...yeah. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

hi....i read your post...just a couple thoughts...

how old are you??? hes 28...thats still pretty young to have his life together....you have a baby right?? 1.5 yrs old???

im 42...i went through a HUGE player phase after my wifes affair and divorce...what is his story???

i think he sounds NEEDY...VERY NEEDY....my gut says just from reading what you wrote...alot of DRAMA from a 28 yr old kid equals ALOT drama for you....

RUN!!!!

define needy....I talk to him once a week and see him every other weekend. He does like to have time to himself....he seems skittish to jump to fast into a serious relationship...we have been moving at a snails pace.....But like most men...i think there is some communication issues.

oh and i am 27 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> .

needy....how long did it take b4 he dropped the L-bomb...if he did before 6-9 months...thats HUGE red flag...

my GF has a book called "hes not that into you"...i read it all the time...its pretty straight forward....and funny!!!

anyway....i pick up alot of drama...at 28...i woulda been all over you!!!

but..........the baby issue is a deal breaker for me...i would "date" someone with kids but not get into a relationship....yeah i know....thats kinda one way especially since i have kids...i just dont have a relationship with a mom with a baby...(that may scare him alittle)

oh yeah...two other thoughts....men are very simple...like a light switch...on/off...women are MUCH more complicated...like the cockpit of a jumbo jet.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />... .anyway...i work with ALOT of men 21-50...(im a cop) and very few of them will go out with women and then decide "i want you as a friend"...no way...never happen...women have MEN for friends...not the other way around....

just my opinion!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

haha sturgi....well in truth we did discuss my son...and I keep them seperate until both of them are comfortable...thats what we agreed upon. l-bomb...if you mean did he say I love you....No...nononono...noooooooooo....he hasn't said that and is sooooo not ready. sooo since we have been seeing each other now for....5 months or so... @_@..... he doesn't want me as a friend.....then what does he want me as....because he acts interested.....but then....it's like one of those uncomfortable moments when you don't know what to say to someone...maybe thats just me....he is a great guy and very helpful and sweet. and OMG he actually cooks for me....in my life I have never had a man cook for me until him. I do my fair share of cooking too...but I do admire him for his cooking skills....I have tried things with him I woulkd have NEVER touched before....like artichokes..

ok....i gave your sitch some thought and talked to one of my partners...(im at work)...we are dumbfounded!

now....what do you want....is this a guy that will bore you quickly???? all the "doeting" is nice for awhile, but hard to keep up....do you have a lot in common???

heres the tough question for you.....are you needy????

are you maybe holding on too tight??? i dont know your history so this is just a guess....

i live by this motto when im dating...(im in a yr long relationship right now tho)..."i want someone who compliments me, not complicates me"

maybe keep looking for someone alittle older, who has some good life experience....or...............

just roll with this and have FUN...

"their evil minds" ROFL

I was thinking just the opposite today when I passed two men who'd just gotten into a fender bender. They were pacing around waiting for the police to show up & I was struck by their sweetness.

Now, I'm not dating anyone so I'm seeing men at a distance & not directly involved with their sometimes...limited...
communication skills. But I had a 21 year marriage where communcation was SORELY lacking. Not all men are lacking the ability to be open & communicate...right?

NAMS...for the record, we REAL MEN are never "sweet" to each other. You were simply observing respect for each other a tough situation.

And we never admit that we are "sweet" to anybody else...but we like it when women and daughters think we are sweet... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now Low, I never doubted "REAL MEN" aren't sweet to each other. Their sweetness was evident in their "respect" for one another. Pacing to & fro, waiting for the proper authorities, not openly placing blame. Maybe they were even on the phone to their wives or S.O. looking for emotional support...

That's sweet! And lovable!

Here's a secret. The men I'm drawn to on line, in real life as well if I stumble upon them, are the ones who have "sweet" looking faces. So far none have proven to actually be sweet but I have to start somewhere. Hey, here's an idea, maybe I should have stopped & asked one of these men, the one not on the phone, if he needed assistance. This would fit right in with your advice to be open & speak to those we see out & about. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

lol! You sound just like the cops I work with. We've had many discussions about whether or not men and women can be "just friends." Women seem to think so, but I've been told that men view women friends as women they just haven't slept with yet! One particular Sergeant said that upon first seeing a woman he subconsiously sizes her up as to whether she's attractive, has good birthing hips or whether she'd be hot in bed.