Well, my wife told me a few weeks ago she wanted to separate for a while with plans for divorce. She filed for divorce with a restraining order against me. I was not able to see my kids for 2 weeks. Then she started calling. I have to talk to you. I would just let the voicemail pick up. She finally called my Lawyer. Her lawyer finally got the restraining order reversed. Before she would let me have the kids, she had to takl to me in person. She informed me she was transfering her job to Honolulu Hawaii (where she grew up, and still has family she doesn't ever seem to get along with very well). She is giving me the house, all the contents, and most strangly (but happily for me), custody of the kids. I told her I would still be willing to work things out and and would go to counsleing with her, and even if we could work things out I might be willing to move to Hawaii too, if things were working as a family. The question I've got for all of you is why would a woman give up her family to go 6000 miles away. I have to assume its another man, but I really have no reason to belive that. She says she just misses home, hates where we live and it's just something she has to do. Can anyone give me any more suggestions? I am so confused!

Why did she get the restraining order?

It sounds like another man to me.

Read all of the stuff on the site here, and start in Plan A. Get the legal stuff in writing, because they usually change their minds about being so generous.

Yea, there was another man a couple of years ago. Thats what brought us to Marriage Builders. Now I have no reason to believe that. She is just fed up with her whole life. There is nothing she likes any more. I think she is depressd beyond belief, but when I tell her she will not listen. I Am tryingto get the legal in writing this week. She is in such a hurry, she starts her new job April 1st. She fired her attorney and we are now filing uncontested with my attorney. I think that will work in my favor. She said the reason for the restraining order was so I would not be able to talk out of it. She even left a message on my attorneys voice mail saying she was not scared for her or her childrens safety she now just wants it reversed and her attorney was not helping. I still hope she changes her mind, and will try to work things out, but I don't know how I could accept her again. Thanks for the advice. Have a good eveing.

Get the stuff in writing. You can usually at least get the property/financial part agreed to and signed. That will protect the family.

If she is depressed, it may be hard for her to get help. Often depressed people don't even realize they are depressed.

But when she moves and is still not feeling happy, she will probably want to come home.

There are two reasons a woman will leave her children:

1. Mental problems

2. Another man

Yes, I agree, and I first thougt it might be another man, but the more I think about it, I'm not sure anymore. Some of the things she says make it seem more like mental problems. When she had an affair a couple of years ago, there were the tell tale symptoms. This time there doesn't seem to be. I am worried about her, but I guess time will tell.

Has she visited home lately? Or contacted something like classmates.com?

WOW sounds my xw, she moved to Vegas last year. My ex and I signed papers and after it was signed she popped the news to me and the kids.

I knew it was for another man, but we do what we can especially when kids are involved, take care of your kids, they will remember you as been the good parent. A woman comes and goes, children are only young once, enojoy them while you can.

Yea, thanks. I have them this weekend, they are both sound asleep, snoring and gnwing teeth. What a great day we had today. Garage sales in the morning, walk to the park in the afternoon, legos, playing makeup, tea parties, and kite flying. Oh how I love to be around them! She is now backing out on leaving me custody of the kids. She is leaving next sunday for Hawaii, and the paperwork still says she has custody (but in our state, neither can take the children out of state with out the courts approval)and she is giving me the house back, but the paperwork still gives it to her. I've got to talk to my attorney on Monday. We'll see how that goes. Thanks for an ear to talk to!