Good luck at IC...I know what you mean about the hours of depression...I also did not go on ADs...Most of the time, I do just fine, trying to get through all of the stuff that has to be done in a day...But when I sit and think like Eeyore, I just sink deeper and deeper...Luckily I usually come out of it when I look at my kids...

Have a good day!

I am the same way--as long as I stay busy, I feel okay. Work and my kids are my salvation. The minute I feel bored I am in real trouble . . .

Yep, and when I allow myself to actually THINK...Watch out!!

MF-any good plans for Memorial Day?????

We are planning a camping trip, and the girls are soooooo excited. Of course, the weather may not cooperate as we had hoped, so we'll have to cross our fingers that we don't get rained out. DD1 has even taken to to rolling out her sleeping bag next to her bed and sleeping in that. Four-year-olds are so . . . weird. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-C.

Funny you mention me as Tigger... LOL YEARS ago when DS14 was a wee little one, we were watching Winnie on VHS with my sis in law and my gorgeous wife. I forget which tape specifically, but Tigger was riding a vacuum cleaner looking for a lost something or another and yelling out "SQUANKEE!" Ever since that day, my sis and law and I call each other Squankee. It's hilarious. Everyone in the whole family gets in on it too. "Hey, what did you get for Christmas from Squankee?"

I'm feeling better. I'm just physically exhausted. Didn't sleep last night. I just got off the phone with my darling wife a few minutes ago. She'll be home soon and has promised me a great big hug. Apparently, my love letters work wonders because she was quoting part of todays back to me. WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING. Memory of an elephant, I swear. Good thing she doesn't look like one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

She seems in a really up beat mood. She said she'd drive us to MC tonight because I'm so tired. Going to leave early enough so that she can get me something to eat and pay me the milkshake she owes me. LOL Try this on for size. You'll be less emotional if you're not tired. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey everyone,

Squankee, I mean, Drexxel,

Glad to hear that you are feeling better. Yes, sleep deprivation does tend to make one emotional. I also did not sleep well. Getting very tired now that it is the end of my (work) day...We told you that you were doing all the right things, and see how they worked wonders?! Feel free to vent to us anytime..

CSJ,

No big plans. Weather is iffy at best. Some weatherpersons say it will rain , others say it will be nice. We have Tball on Sat, church on Sun, and then the town parade on Mon, weather permitting. We never had big plans on the holidays=-my H always had to work. But we would usually go to the parade at least.

Have never gone camping. A guy here at work is going camping in his RV, complete with A/C, DVD player/TV, grill, etc. I could camp out in an environment like this...:) It's better than being home...No dishes to wash--use paper plates~!

Hopingfor,

Thanks for popping in....glad to hear that you are doing well...

Well, gotta wrap it up here. Make sure you get your milkshake, Drexx!

Talk to you all later,

Hey Everyone,

Camping is not for me - unless I am in an RV, like MF said with all the extras right in the RV. The only other place I would go camping is in a log cabin. I don't like bugs, snakes or I don't want a bear to take a bite out of my butt. I have a deadly fear of snakes.

In our old house, while I was doing yard work, a big snake came out of the ground, well it was big to me, about a foot - I got so scared I ran towards the wooden gate, but didn't realize it opened the opposite way. I broke down the gate to get out. I HATE SNAKES. CSJ - you must get plenty of them. I have this fear because when I was little my grandmom used to tell me ghost stories - I still remember. One of them was about a snake who bit a guy to death - I've been afraid of them ever since. My family always makes fun of me. I don't even like to see them in a zoo. YUK!!!!


My husband always says he wants to someday buy a log cabin in the Pocono’s, PA.....I said only if it has all the amenities. My home that I live in is country enough - I want to be able to go to the store - without driving 10 miles. I want to be able to go out and see some form of life other than trees and wild animals. Even now, I have all kinds of animals in my yard, skunks, opossums, moles, squirrels, deer and chipmunks - they're wild enough for me.

TO ALL.....WORK IS EVERYONE'S SALVATION........if you keep busy - you won't have time to think about depressing thoughts.

We're probably going to have my husband's brothers over this weekend - they are really cool - love them like they were my own brothers - I don't have any siblings. My husband enjoys having them over - he reminisces about how he tortured them when they were younger - he is the oldest. We have plenty of Corona's, good food, wine and we just relax. Last Memorial Day my husband invited the OW over - hate to think of what a dummy I was giving her a kiss hello and goodbye - YUK again!!!! Cheap tramp, X$%%^%***bbb, xxuett$$$$.

On Memorial Day I promised my youngest that she could have some of her friends over - we went to the Dollar Store to buy squirt guns for them - plus, tubes for the pool - they think they are going in - they have another thing coming to them - the pool is under 60 degrees - better them than me. But, anyway they should have fun. I'll cook them some burgers and hot dogs and they can run around like a bunch of kids let out of a cage and have a great time.

Our weekend is supposed to be nice - probably 80 degrees. Hope every one has a good one. I'm almost finished with my stones. Tomorrow I'll be cleaning up for the weekend.

Drexxell......give yourself some time......if you want something bad enough - it will happen. Just remember the ups and downs are normal -we all have them - that's why we are here. CSJ is right....you have to give yourself a time limit.....if you see yourself progressing - then move forward.....but, if no progress is made - then you have to take another alternative. The time limit is up to you - but do advise your spouse of this.

Adios Amigos........

Hello All,

Just figured I would bump this up. The board was busy last night...our thread was buried.

I hope everyone had a good night and is getting ready for the holiday. My night was OK. We watched "Everybody Hates Chris" (based on Chris Rock's childhood)...Good show. My H then watched the basketball playoffs (again! Will they ever end??) I went to sleep--couldn't stay up any longer. My H and I are kind of in a silent treatment standoff right now, although we speak when we have to...This morning, he made and brought me my coffee--his way of making up, I guess. He hasn't done this in months...It's funny how when I start to detach/withdraw from him, he notices it...It throws him off because I've been so accommodating, trying to meet all his ENs for so long (like we have been talking about here). This week, I have been doing alot of serious thinking about myself and my ENs..Have not been big into conversation with him as my usual self. So we will see if this is a wakeup call for him...I would like to review our EN questionnaires at the least, this weekend.

CSJ,
You never said in your trip report if you and your H were able to um, reconnect via SF? Not trying to put you on the spot...but just curious?


F&L, I also HATE snakes...My son brought home two books about snakes from school. I couldn't even look at them...I hope our weather turns out better. The kids want to go to the beach. The water must be freezing!

Everyone,

Enjoy the weekend. Try to put any issues aside and just make some nice memories of a Memorial Day weekend for your kids.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Everyone,

Want to wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day. It's raining here right now - but now hard - very humid. We're supposed have good weather here for the rest of the weekend - about 80 degrees.

MF - I love "Everybody hates Chris" - that's one of our favorite comedies. I missed it last night. That kid that plays Chris is so perfect for that role. His father is so funny - he's so cheap! I hate that red headed kid that always teases Chris. I loved the Halloween episode - when the mom thru out the candy and the dad was calculating the dollars and cents going in the garbage.

Everyone - just enjoy the holiday like MF said - we all need to have a good time and be happy.

Hi everyone
Yes CSJ I was wondering about the reconnection too...not to pry but wheres the juicy stuff..haha.

Things have been going well since my breakdown with H last week. He has been very patient with me.

We went to MC and he basicaly tells me I need to work on me...get hobbies etc. Its hard for me I really dont care to do anything else besides be with H. I go on girls nights maybe once a month and away with the girls 2 times a year. I think thats enough. I want to spend my time with him and the family. MC kinda made me feel like a loser. My H is very sociable and I think I am too but he is always looking for a party.

I guess we all know the kids come aalong and everything changes. I became responsible and gave up me and he became party guy. We became 2 seperste people and MC thinks I need to find something for me. I just dont find that to be the problem.

F&L and everyone really said that working keeps your mind off the A. I dont have that. I fold laundry I think about it. I unload the dishwasher I think about something else. It is hard not to have a distraction to keep me busy but I have found I am getting a little better as far as I can think about other things in a day.

Oh well...F&l thanks for the rain update. It must be moving its way up I just heard thunder.

Hope everyone has a good holiday weekend!
HF

Hey F&L,

Last night's episode of EHC was good. You know how the mother loves those Turtles candies? Well money was tight so the H and W agreed to cut back. But she had to give up her Turtles and H had to give up buying lottery tickets. It was funny! You can probably catch it in reruns...

Have a good weekend all!

Afternoon everyone!

It sounds like everyone is gearing up for a good holiday! We won't be roughing it too much on this trip. We borrow my in-law's fifth wheel trailer when we go camping, so it has a little kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and a few seats that fold out into beds. This is as "back to nature" as I get, folks. (Although back in the day, I was a hard-core camper. Little known trivia about CSJ: My undergrad degree was in ARCHAEOLOGY!!!! I lived in a tent for 2 months while on a dig in the Nevada desert. Did this for several summers. Then I came back and went to law school <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Civilization is good.)

Anyway, got my last-minute errands done for the trip this morning. Camping food, some folding chairs for the girls, a book for me to read as I relax. (We had a chair for DD1 that we used last year, and DD2 wanted her own--but of course once DD1 saw the beautiful Disney Princess camping chair--her old was was a dim memory. We got 2 chairs. I am a sucker.) The other great thing about these camping trips is that we generally go with 2 other families (H's two buddies and their families.) The men do all the cooking--and they are actually pretty good (well, one of them is. My H just pitches in.) Have you ever heard of dutch oven cooking? I don't know if that's a big thing out East or not. Here, it is quite popular. You use a big cast-iron pot, and cook with charcoal underneath and on top of it. It cooks very slowly, but is delicious. Anyway, I get to put my feet up for a few days, play with the kids, and feel pretty pampered, even though I am living in a camp trailer. Its nice.

MF--you asked about romance on the trip? Well, I am sorry to report that I got no SF. But it really wasn't my fault this time! At least I don't think it was. I brought a really beautiful nighty, and I thought that would really send the message. But I climbed into bed, and he finished reading a few pages in his book. He turned out the light, gave me a kiss and said "good night." What the . . . ?

But we had been having such a nice time otherwise, I decided to cut him some slack. I tried again the next night, same thing. I just laid there in the dark and started crying. So finally he figured out that something was wrong. (Why are men so *@$%*&@ dense, anyway???? Sorry, Drex--not you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) So I told him I felt like he wasn't interested in me at all, and he apologized, and very politely blamed me--pointing out that I had really froze him out the other times that he had tried so he didn't dare try anything. (Somewhere in there I also accused him of getting back with OW--told him I was dead inside--real drama queen stuff. F&L--if your H thinks you're a drama queen--just tell him he needs to meet me first) Anyway, he assured me that he wasn't seeing OW, he loves me, and held me all night long, telling me how sorry he is that he hurt me.

So any romantic mood was pretty much blown--then after that we were staying with his brother, and that would have just been awkward.

Sigh . . . Ladies, I just don't know what to do here. I mean, my H and I were never the real active libido type to begin with. So maybe the sexual connection was never what it should have been. But my H was not interested several times a week--he never was. Not even with the OW! They got together 3-4 times a month, according to my H, and based on my memory of his schedule back then, I think this is about right.

But I had always made a point of not refusing him--if he was in the mood, I got myself in the mood, because I know that this is important to men. So the ONLY time I said no to him sexually was after DD2, and I was still feeling pretty funky, so I asked him to wait a little. He started his A soon afterwards. I think we had SF twice during that awful year. So for me, it's been long enough that I don't think that I even miss it anymore. But obviously the SF thing is part of why this all happened, and we just can't seem to get back on track. I think this is the main reason that six months after DDay I am still rolling around in my head the idea of leaving him.

Anyway, I guess I am going to have to be more aggressive here, because I have scared him away from approaching me. I've been thinking about getting a kama sutra book or something. Anyone have one of those--are they any good? And this weekend is out because of the camping with friends thing. Although I guess we could hang one of those signs on the door--you know, the ones that say "If this camper's rockin', don't come knockin'" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

But have a good weekend everyone! I will try to check back later, but in any case, MF is right--make some nice memories everybody!

-C.

Holy cow!! 4 days between posts?! I thought I'd be reading half the day to catch up!!!

We had a great weekend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I got my milkshake. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> MC went very well. Dancing on Friday till our feet hurt. Lazy day on Saturday. DD10 got to pick a restaurant for dinner one night cause she got a letter from the president about her grades. DS14 got to pick the next night cause his grades were just slightly higher than DD10s. LOL My sweet wife got to pick on Mon cause it was her b-day.

Sunday went pretty well. Kinda thought my adorable wife might go to church with us. Maybe next week. She asked me to allow her her "Crisis of faith". Stayed up till like 2:30 am though just talking and playing a video game together. I said something about being sleepy and it being bed time. My beautiful wife says to me, "It's too bad you're so sleepy." O.o Well, we went to bed, but sleeping wasn't involved till about 4:00 am. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Her ADs are really kicking in and leveling out her moods.

Monday was a great day. Lots of family time, a little b-day shopping, playing "monkey in the middle" with the kids and a frisbee in the yard. Dinner at my fine wife's choice... a Japanese Steak House, you know, where the guy comes out and cooks right there in front of you, makes dumb jokes, throws shrimp at you. Yum! We had to take last night off. She recently had her IUD changed and is still in the "adjustment" period. This one has the hormone release in it. Dunno how that'll effect her emotionally, but the doc and the MC know about it.

Going to have lunch with her today. Oy, I've got tons of laundry to do. It's funny that she said domestic support was one of her ENs, so I was tearin up some housework. A few weeks ago, she says something about the weekends are really the only time we have to spend a lot of time together and asked how much time I spent on laundry during the week cause I was washing clothes. Since that day, I've not done any house work on the weekends unless it was a big spring cleaning thing that she and I were both involved in. We spent a couple hours on Friday cleaning our office.

So, last weekend, she mentioned in a round about way how she noticed I wasn't doing laundry on the weekend and was spending time with her and she liked that. It's getting better. She's gotten more affectionate with me. I'm feeling a lot better. I was hugging her last night and she asked me if I thought we were going to make it. I told her I thought if we worked at it, we could pass with flying colors. She told me her fear of me throwing all this back in her face sometime down the road. This is all stemming from us not addressing the As 7 years ago. I told her I was going to do it right this time and not make the same mistakes.

CSJ -- I'm not sure, but I think I mentioned on this thread before that when guys are turned down for SF they take it as a personal rejection and it's really a big deal to them. Definate blow to the ego. Now then, I'm not saying that's what happened at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I only say that to say this, when he said to you that he didn't try to initiate SF because you had been cold and turned him down in the past, this is what he's saying. I don't want to be rejected. He's not saying that he doesn't want to be with you.

Should that come up again, so to speak, where we says that, you've got to disarm him and take that excuse away from him. Instead of getting upset and waiting for him to notice, get aggressive. Say, "Listen, I bought this new nightie, and I would really appreciate it if you came over here and told me what you thought about it. Yes, of course, I know it's dark in here, so I guess you'll just have to use your hands to look at it." Be playful and slightly impish. You'll get his attention and he won't have that to use. If he tries to say it again, just put your finger on his lips and shake your head no. Unless he's completely dense, he'll get the message.

Best wishes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Drexxel,

Glad to hear that you had a great weekend. It sounds like the ADs are working for your wife, and all of your work has paid off...I agree with her on the housework - do what you can during the week to free up your couple and family time...It sounds like you got the message on that so that's good. I love those Japanese steakhouses! Lots of fun and good food. And congrats on the smart kids!


CSJ,
I'm with Drexxel on the SF. You are going to have to reassure him and take the lead here...He is not going to chance being rejected so you will have to make it crystal clear that you want him....As for the Kama Sutra book, that may be an icebreaker, so you may want to buy one, wrap it up and give it to him. Tell him, "I got you a book to read in bed tonight..." (since you mention that he likes to read). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So when you come back from your camping trip, this is your assignment...Okay?? No excuses...

My weekend was okay. Had a bit of a health scare on Friday night but it turned out okay. I had a sharp pain in my side for a week, and it started to go into my chest. Went to the dr and they did an EKG which came back abnormal. So I had to have a stress test on my heart, and they injected this dye into me to take images of my heart. Not exactly my idea of making memories for the holiday. But it all turned out fine. They couldn't explain that one abnormal EKG when the rest of them were okay. They said I probably pulled a muscle in my side from picking up the baby and the carrier and everything else. They said it is probably stress related. This hit my H like a ton of bricks. He really did a lot of thinking during this crisis, and stepped up to the plate as far as taking care of the kids most of the weekend. I had to stay away from the kids overnight because of the radioactive dye (remeember that 80s song, I'm radioactive). Anyway, it all worked out well. We had a great weekend otherwise...hung out at a friend's pool and got sunburned, my H let me rest alot, so we had a nice weekend. He wouldn't even let me go to church on sunday because he wanted me to rest. I guess he realized that everything catches up with me...he said that he knew it was just stress, all his fault, that I have to take care of myself. I said, yeah, us calm types hold it all inside and it just eats away at us...

So, that's about it for now...Hope everyone else had a good weekend!

Wow! Pretty quiet here today--I hope that means that everyone had a really mellow holiday weekend.

Ours went pretty well, although the weather didn't exactly cooperate. It got pretty chilly a few nights, and even during the daytime there were some spells where it was windy and it was just better to stay in the trailer. But we had brought along some activities for the kids, and since there were other kids, they would go from trailer to trailer to check everyone else's toys out. And for the most part, they played outside and just ignored the chill in the air. One of the guys even brought his pony up, so the kids all got to ride a bit. So we made the best of things, and had a good time. H planned another little camping trip in a few weeks, this one will just be one night. We will ride horses, and there is a covered wagon for the kids. It's a pretty short ride, and then you camp for the night. So I am looking forward to that, also. The really positive thing is that my H is planning recreational activities that he really enjoys, and including me and the kids. I see that as some real improvement.

And I decided to take a little initiative myself, and I wrote H a letter. It is hard for us to talk about what has happened to us. I get emotional and really can't talk, and H has never been one to converse on an emotional level to begin with. He can carry on a very nice conversation, but ask him to describe how he feels about something, and he becomes mute. To give you an idea, we had been dating for many months and hadn't really had a relationship talk at all, beyond confirming that we weren't seeing other people. One afternoon he took me on a ride to look at parcels of ground, and towards the end he smiles and says, "hey, we could have a farm!" And I am thinking, "we??????" So when he asked later that night which parcel I liked best, I finally asked: "Are you asking because you just value my opinion, or are you asking because you planned on me living there, too?" And he laughed and said, "of course you would live there." So that finally started the conversation where we got engaged. He now tells people that I proposed to him. I guess he is sort-of right, because I was the one who brought the topic up. But seriously, when was he going to mention it? He is charming in a rugged, caveman sort of way.

Anyway, I am feeling that the guilt thing for him is still a big stumbling block. He just doesn't know what to do to "fix" me (I think you mentioned this about men Drex--that men are "fixers"--this is soooooo true with my H!). And I think that, despite my attempts to verbalize things with him, he just doesn't register that when he acts sullen and quiet, it hurts me, because it makes me feel like he doesn't love me anymore, and would rather be with OW. So I wrote out a letter, so I could phrase things exactly the way I wanted to, and he could have as much time as he wanted to read it and process it. I told him that I don't want to be "settled for" and that I deserve to be cherished. I told him that we both needed to make our best efforts to show each other that we cherish one another. I told him about a spiritual experience I had years ago about marrying him--and how I still knew that we were supposed to be together. And I told him to stop feeling guilty, because I love him and I am going to be able to forgive him.

He didn't say anything to me about the letter (I didn't expect him to, as this would require him to talk about his feelings. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) But last night he held me really tight, and I checked this morning and saw that he kept the letter in a box that he has where he keeps all of his keepsakes. So hopefully, that will help us both along a bit.

And now I have some really great advice from Drex--who is completely fluent in the male language! Thanks so much, honestly. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing it, and I just don't know what to do. But you're giving me some really good ideas, so I am grateful to you.

And MF--I accept my assignment! And I am glad you are going okay!

Anyhow, I will check back later to see if anyone else has a weekend report.

Cheers!
-C.

Hi all,

MF.....I completely forgot that you were having the pains in your side. If you remember I also had pains in my chest and they proceeded to go down my left arm - my arms and legs got tingly -the pain in my chest was so bad I thought I was going to pass out - well, I did by the time the ambulance came - I left the door open. Went to the hospital and they took all kinds of tests, blood, x-rays, etc. It was an anxiety attack, from all the stress I was going thru - you mind is a terrible thing. Most likely, that's all it is - but I know what you mean about the pain. Glad everything came out negative. Good luck tomorrow.

Drex......glad things are going better for you....you deserve it. I also try to do everything during the week, so I can do stuff with my husband. The only problem is if he sees me doing very little on the weekend - he thinks I have the magical fairy doing stuff during the week - you know, things get done by themselves. Doesn't it make you feel good when your children come home with good grades - makes you feel so proud!!!! Congrats to them. Your wife's medication should make a big difference in her attitude - less ups and downs, anger, depression, etc.

CSJ.....I also wrote my husband a letter shortly after D-Day and poured my heart out to him. The day before I took out a letter that I had written over 20 yrs. ago to him - the day after we had a big fight - even then he used to make me cry. He read the letter and couldn't believe how the words I said then and the words I said now, were so similar. I put the letter in his lunch bag so he could read it when I wasn't around. My feelings have not changed. I wrote in the second letter that I will keep it in a safe place and perhaps we can read it again in another 20 yrs. Sometimes, it is easier to write things down. Keep your letter or let your husband keep it and open it many years from now. So you met him in "jail" and you proposed to him????

It is hot as heck here!!! Today it is 85 degrees. I'm sweating bullets typing this - but tomorrow is supposed cool down.

We had a fairly good weekend - except for a small fight last night - but, it's in the past. I just can't change my husband's sit down and do nothing attitude. I run around like a "nut" and he can't even acknowledge how hard I work. All I want is a thank you, or boy, you're a good cook, or boy, you work hard, what a good job you did, is that too much to ask? The other thing that's driving me crazy is he keeps saying he hates women and doesn't trust any woman. The way he says it - it sounds like he's including me - very demeaning. It's getting a little annoying.

Talk to you all later.......

So what, you think I sound desperate or something? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-C

CSJ,

I don't know????? That was a cute story. Hey, what's the sense of "beating around the bush" right? Us cavewomen have to get right to the point!

Good morning,

Hope all is ok today with everyone. I know MF will not be here today.

I was thinking yesterday that our D-Day will be coming up soon - 1 year - it was in June of last year. Then I thought, wow it's June 6th. But then I thought about it again, it's the sixth month, the sixth day, and the sixth year in 2000. What's that 6/6/06 - is that weird????? Isn't 666 the "number of the beast"? Gave me the creeps. How many times do those numbers come up like that???? I told my husband and he said it must be an omen, for him to stay the heck away!!!!!! God must be warning him!!!!!

I'm not super religious, but I do believe in insight and everything is written down in the beginning. This definitely means something.

Good morning everyone!

I hope that all is well for MF today--we miss you when you're not here!

F&L-that's totally creepy about your 6/6/06 anniversary! But maybe it is an omen that is good for you--like you say, a warning to your H about what he did. Maybe this will help him to remember what he caused, and what he needs to change to keep making things better. It's better than a scarlet A branded on his forehead, anyway!

We had a nice evening last night. H just relaxed with me and the girls--sat down and ate dinner with us instead of inhaling something and then running out the door to "fix something" in the barn or meet his guy buddies. He just seemed content to talk with me about his day and play with the girls. It gave me such a great feeling. Maybe my letter helped him a bit. I kept just feeling like he was avoiding even looking me in the eye, and it does hurt, because it makes me wonder if he is really just unhappy being married to me, period. But then I wonder if he is just so ashamed he can't look me in the eye. That's why I told him to just stop feeling guilty about everything--it doesn't help either of us fix things. Anyway, maybe he feels released from that guilt. I hope so. I don't want that for him, no matter what happens for us. But I am feeling much more optimistic about things.

HF and S&C--I hope all is going well for you! We haven't heard from you both, but our thoughts are with you and we hope that you are doing well and moving forward.

Drex--do tell us how you and your beautiful wife and very intelligent children are doing today!

I'll check back later!

-C.