Okay, I guess im onto a Plan B, divorce was initiated by me, he got served ans said it would be best. I gave birth to our third child on Sat, A boy 6 lbs 13 oz . Hes gorgeous. I cant believe that when I found out I was pregnant I had hoped I would miscarry. I feel horrible. I see my son son know and feel guilt but I need to get over that God gave me such a beautiful gift and now I need to raise him to be a great man.
MY WS , now tells me that he sees me feels nothing for me but friendship. He says its great being around me and once im out of sight all he thinks of is her. I knew this day would come but I cant help but feel pain. How can someone give up on his marriage, family, all at once. H hasnt manned up to move out, he says in a few wks to help me with the baby, fix last min things in the house so I wont have to deal with it, I know hes dreading to tell the kids. He still acts like we're still a couple telling me his wear abouts and it makes me angry. I just feel so lost. Does anyone have any insight for me? I think I need to see my doc and maybe get myself on some anti depressant, I dont want to loose track of my priorities, at times I feel like I can deal with it but its so hard not being able to talk to anyone. I cant talk to my family , they are so far away I cant have them worry. No one I know has gone thru this, and those that do say its for the best but I hate giving up on him, my marriage, my family

My dear,

My heart is breaking for you. What a horrible time to have to go through something like this. You will be fine tho. Your kids will keep you sane. Love them to death...because they will be your lifeline through this mess. You will need to be strong. You are and will be their family.....and he is making the biggest mistake of his life. Keep your family going, come here and get support...and I promise you...it will get better. Take care of yourself...your kids need you!!!! Pat

Somedayme--

I delivered my third child as well 9 weeks ago today with my WH still with the other woman, and the divorce pending.
I know the pain you are in, and wanted you to know you are not alone.

You are in a place you have never thought yourself possible to be in. I know you feel scared and overwhelmed. Heck--you have a newborn. Your body has just delivered and you are exhausted. And unfortunatley, you have to deal with a spouse who can think of nothing more than himself.

First, go see your OB and ask for some meds or some help. She can get you set up with the help. You need to be very careful about PPD. MY OB told me I was at extra risk.

As for giving up on your marriage--if you don't want to, then don't. The people here are great at helping you do everything you can to save it. You will be amazed at the help and support here. And if your marriage is not recovered, you will be recovered a lot faster. You will know you did your best and what was in your heart. Others don't have to live your life. You do.

Have you posted your story yet so we can get you a plan?

What kind of support sysyem do you have.

Congratulations on your new little one. I'm sorry that you are going through this mess in what should be such a happy time.

I suggest that you Plan A him for a couple of months. Affairs never last, and the husband usually returns to his family.

If the affair is still going on, I would expose him again to the military. Adultery is against their code of ethics, and usually they will take action.

Congratulations on your new baby!!!! What a wonderful blessing!!!!

I agree that you need to get to your OB post haste and get on some Anti-Depressants, because you are at risk for Post Partum Depression, even if all the other circumstances weren't going on.

I will pray for you hon. And I too agree that you should try and Plan A him.

God Bless You,

-Caren

Congratulations on the little ones SomedayMe and inTexas.

Although I'm a BS, I can't immagine what you are going through since you just had a baby. That I bet makes things extra tough.

I suggest, call your family, even though they are far away. They will help.
If my daughter was in your position, I would fly around the world to be with her. You do not need to do this alone.

My DD will be 3 in May and her B-days always bring bad memories, turns out the night before her b-day, WW spent the night with OM, talk about a b-day gift for your baby.

Another thing I would suggest, tell others (if they don't know) about that other kid you are dealing with, the one who thinks he's old enough to date. I don't know him but I do know he's a coward if he walks out on his family like that.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you all for your response. I know my child is beautiful and the greatest gift God could of given me other than my other 2 angels!
Under the circumstances WH has been great at helping out with me and the kids. Ive noticed hes afraid to get close to the baby. At one point he assumed it wasnt his, probably still does. I urged him to get a paternity test, i have nothing to hide.

I know WH still cares for me, deep down or he wouldnt still be here. (right?) How can I get out of this rut and Plan A him while hes here? I feel so depressed inside. What exactly should I do?

His family knows doesnt agree with what hes doing but has decided to stay out of it, they gave their two cents and its up to him to make his decision. Not them, I totally agree.

I better tend to my child , Ill log on later. Again thanks everyone, I do appreciate the imput, now I need to imply them .

Okay, I know I can plan A him while he's still here at home but how effectively can I do it?

I know we can make things work between us but that means OW backing off and him realizing whats at stake.

Advice please?