Were you the one who asked Soon for the check, Blue? Just kidding. How are you doing?

What??? I've never heard of that???? LOL

It seems that my H may just very well let go of me quietly. Usually, when I don't call before i leave work he gets upset with me. Yesterday, I never told him I was leaving work early to take baby to the dr and he never said a word. Just asked where I was. That was it.

OK, so I'm sad again today. Im so bored here at work so the only thing I have to do is sit and think. I hate that.

I am going in the studio (the band I'm in) tonight, tomorrow and all day Saturday to start recording. Last week when I told H that he acted upset. This morning he just said, "well I guess I'll see you late tonight". But yet he called me today again "to check on me".

I hate these moods. What happened? Mon-Thrs I was feeling so good. So positive. Positive about moving on and positive about my life. Today, I'm not so positive. i guess this is just part of the process.

It will be like that for awhile. I feel pretty good most of the time, but still have down times. The good thing is that they don't last too long.

I've noticed when I don't see STBX at work, or anywhere for that matter, I feel much better. Just seeing her will make me feel bad. She's not at work today, or if she is I haven't seen her, so I'm doing good. I remember when we were still together but knew the end was coming, I never felt good. I don't know how you do it Soon.

Hey Soon, is recording in the studio fun? I'm sort of anti-musical, not by choice, but I just don't have any musical talent. It sounds like it would be so neat.

It's fun. But it is hard work. It can take forever to get a song down. You have to do it over and over and over. And I'm not a very patient person at all. What's more aggravating is that our banjo player does well when were in public...but once we try to record something it's like he forgets how to play. It's very frustrating.

I hope you enjoy the session. Try to go out with some friends or family and enjoy yourself. Maybe call an old friend that you haven't talked to in a while. I know it's hard and you don't want to do it, but it will help. I think by us being sad, lonely, crying all the time, we are letting them walk all over us yet again. They shouldn't win this time. We can't control them, but we can control ourselves. Remember "Tough Love" and we will love them, but we require their best in return.

I hope everyone has a good evening. Thankful, I hope your talk went well.

I will talk to everyone tomorrow.

Goodnight

Talk to everyone tomorrow. Thank God tomorrow is Friday! I can't wait.

Sleep well and have good dreams! And pray!

Yes - we all need to make new friends and be happy. It's the healthiest for us.. I was happpy last night, but today I feel down. I just called H and he said that he was feeling very emotional packing everything up. That it is very hard for him. I want him to be happy - but I can't do that for him.

Thanks for the words of wisdom Tired. I hope I'm not turning into his doormat. I'm thinking that until we actually get divorced - we're still married and there is some hope. He is so busy feeling sorry for himself. He thinks I'm a terrible unfeeling person. I'm conflicted between trying so hard to repair the marriage and just giving up...I'm so tired.

Well I hope everyone has a good night. H complains he has terrible dreams - but I sleep really well and I'm always happy in my little apartment.

I know this sounds terrible, but I wish a sweet, handsome, charming, healthy, available and stable man would come into my life and help me forget all about my H. Everyone says that you shouldn't do that...but from what I've heard and read it seems to be the way to finally get over your ex.

dreaming...
Cis