Things just get more weird by the day. First of all, I haven't been served with the divorce papers that hubby allegedly filed on Feb. 17. I called my attorney and he called the courthouse and no divorce petition has been filed. I don't understand. Hubby also told my oldest daughter that he had an appointment with his attorney yesterday, then he called her and asked her to take him to see her wedding dress and she asked what about his appointment and he said he canceled it?!?!?

They went to lunch, Hubby and daughter. He told her he is looking for 2 new employees. One is moving to another state and OW is changing jobs. I don't know if this is because of my exposure to the company or what it means.

Since I've gone to Plan B, hubby drops daughter off and leaves. Last night, he dropped her off and came in. I was in the bedroom and I stayed there. I could here them talking though and hubby asked daughter if I was trying to turn HIS house into a doll house. I've replaced some throw rugs and things and the theme is pastel. He wasn't very happy but he no longer lives here.

Last night he called and asked to speak to me. I took the phone and I said "are you ready to meet my terms and work on the marriage" he said "I just want to talk, I miss you" and I said "I'm sorry call me when you're ready to do as I asked" and I politely hung up.

I'm confused, big time.

If you are in plan B, it sounds like it is working great. Stay dark and stay busy.

A good title for the thread would be, "Text book Plan B reactions."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Now, what the heck is he doing coming in your house???

WAT

Thanks for the advice Jean. Staying busy is what I'm trying to do.

WAT, he isn't supposed to be in my house. I didn't see him and I won't allow him to drag me from Plan B with his antics.

I just don't get why he told me he filed if he didn't and why he's hedging on seeing his attorney.

It's because he doesn't know what he wants.

You're doing very well.

PLEASE don't try to make sense out of everything!

Re-read Rule #1!!

Stay the course. I feel good about your sitch.

WAT

Thanks for the support WAT. It really helps considering I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall most days.

Needed some things at the store so my daughter and I went after I picked her up from school. We immediately ran into a friend of hubby's family, whom I love dearly. She hugged me and promptly burst into tears and so did I, smack in the middle of wal mart geez. They know about his affair because my FIL told them and they are as disgusted as everyone else.these are people he has known since he was born and I don't know how he can not care what they think. He's buried in there somewhere I'm sure. The only question is can he ever find his way back

Iamlost, it sounds like your Plan B is going great, but i agree with WAT, he should not be coming into the house. That gives him a "house fix" when he misses you. I would also not take his calls anymore since he doesn't seem to remember your conditions. Just hearing his voice will be hard on you. And if you don't take him calls, it will make him try all the harder to get you back.

I think you are doing great! So you are making your house into a doll house, huh? lol

yea, about that doll house thingy........

fingernails on a chalkboard to a guy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Translation: do any dern thing that makes YOU happy.

WHEN you allow him home, the doll house stuff can be the first thing you POJA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Melody and WAT. Your encouragement means a lot. Especially from two pros like ya'll.

It's really not a doll house lol. All I did was replace 4 blue throw rugs with new ones with some colors in them. And I took the piece out of the kitchen table and made it smaller. I guess he just thought nothing would change while he goes about his affair.

Say what??? Men get NO SAY in this!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I just replaced the couch with a red floral one.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good for you intexas. Doesn't it make you feel you have a little control in a situation that's so out of control?

yes it does. I needed to make it my own. I got it, 2 new chairs, a new rug, and a BEAY|UTIFUL armoire all at a garage sale in this neat touristy town close to where I live (where we honeymooned actually). Got all of it for less than $500!!! (which is why I have been busy e-baying this week--have to pat the accoutn back before WH asks what i did with the money). I already made enough this week to do so. So it is definitely all mine.

I think you're doing good in plan b, btw. I know it's tuff. Stay strong. Keep posting if you need to stay grounded. I know that it helps me.

A quick story -

My WS moved out in late August. I was still very much in Plan A. I did some rearranging, replaced some wall hangings, moved a few pieces of furniture around to account for the pieces she took with her. She was over frequently and commented approvingly - who knows what she really thought?

Anyway, by the time the holiday season rolled around, I and an old poster named Rick37, who was in a similar sitch, decided that we'd do up our homes as per usual for the holidays. This ought to be, we conspired, a very affirmative Plan A statement of independence and "life goes on."

For my part I did a very fine job, thank you, of making my home look very good. Very classy. My neighbors all commented on how happy they were to see me "defiantly" happy in such a challenging time. They reactd that decorating the house made a loud statement to our community.

OK, be patient, the punch line is coming.

After I had done all the decorating, WS comes over and doesn't say a word about the decorating. Later, I hear back through her sister that she pouted, "He could have left ME some decorations to use in my apartment." If my memory is correct, Rick37 got the same reaction.

So, make YOUR house YOUR home. Do whatever you feel like doing. Just making a change makes a statement.

WAT

Nice, inspiring story WAT. WS's are brain dead.You reminded me of something my hubby did this past Christmas. It was always his habit to decorate the outside for Christmas on Thanksgiving day. Retail, you know, his last day off until Christmas. He went through the motions, put up lights, placed all the figurines we have in the yard etc. The only thing he didn't bother to do was connect them to the electrical outlet. I remember thinking that he would get to it because he was always so into that. He never did. I think that's when I knew he'd be leaving after the holidays. He no longer cared about traditions and I can still feel that pit in my stomach remembering.

On another note, he showed up here again last night. Yep in my house yet again. I didn't see him as I stayed in the bedroom. I had to have a talk with my daughter about this and she now understands (I think). I will see him tomorrow though. Youngest daughter has a choir performance and we'll both be attending. I however, have a "date". I'm taking one of daughters friends and sitting with him. Hopefully Hubby keeps his distance.

[color:"green"]I assume it will be obvious that this isn't a "date" date. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I don't recall, did you request in your Plan B letter for H not to enter your home?

What's the status of the legal separation? That would be the place to nail down that he shouldn't enter the house. You may not be able to legally enforce this unless he agrees in the separation agreement - unless you are the only owner (sorry I can't remember).

Be sure to look your best at the choir performance. Smile a lot and be bouncy.

WAT[/color]

Hubby knows my "date". He's my daughter's best friend and he's 15 lol. Yes it will obviously not be a real date.

I didn't say in my Plan B letter that he couldn't enter the house but it is in our separation agreement, of which he has a copy. The separation agreement doesn't become legal til March 30 though. He co-own the house but he no longer has a key. My daughter let him in both times.

Iamlost, how about telling DD not to let him in anymore?

Yeah, Melody, that's what I did. I re-explained Plan B to her and why her dad couldn't be in our house right now. She now understands. I also told her that when he asks to speak to me on the phone, her answer is to be "Mom is not available".