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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 72
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Posts: 72
I have exposed to family (his and mine) my friends, OW H, and WH's boss ( wh doesnt know though.)

Should I expose to his friends/coworkers?

Does it count as exposure if WH doesnt know?

Do I expose to his friends with his knowledge or w/o?

Struggling with Plan A and really need advice.

Joined: Sep 2000
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Does it count as exposure if WH doesnt know?

Conventional wisdom is that the WS needs to know that exposure has happened, otherwise they don't feel the disapproval.

This doesn't mean that the BS ought to blurt out, "Well the whole town knows." Let it take it's course naturally.

Exposure should never be announced in advance to the WS. This gives him/her the opportunity to diffuse it, which they will. (For exposure detractors, doesn't this say something about exposure's value?)

If you've exposed to those closest to the WS - those most influential in his/her life - and the WS knows this and despite this the affair continues, further exposure in expanding concentric circles is recommended.

See the link in my sig line below.


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