Dear OP,

Enclosed is a copy of a letter (with some parts redacted) I gave to WGF the other day. My motive for sending it to you is nothing other than to make you aware that I love WGF still today, more than ever, that I believe we can have a successful, loving and committed relationship again, and that I will wait for her.

Of course, I cannot know what WGF has told you about our relationship history or our interactions over the past nine weeks, and I have no intentions of trying to guess or find out. Like all long-term relationships that make it past the high of being “in love,” ours was no different in that it required work from both of us. Being human, WGF and I let laziness get the best of us, and our relationship suffered because we were not doing the work on ourselves and on our relationship.

I want you to know that I completely regret calling you on the evening of January 9th to tell you “WGF’s single now – you can have her!” I was deeply hurt and in total shock after having just discovered WGF's affair with you. I realized within minutes, despite WGF's thoughtless choices, that our family, our history, our relationship and our future was not something I wanted destroyed and that I could forgive WGF—and I did.

As much as I wish I could go back in time and change many things, I cannot. Nevertheless, my love, devotion, faithfulness, and commitment to WGF remains.

Sincerely,



copy: WGF

I vote for don't send

Okaaaayyyy.......can ya give me a little more Jean. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Why not?

Chaka,

Good letter. Give it to a friend and let them read it. Talk about it. Talk about why you are writing it. Talk about what magical enlightenment will happen to the OP upon reading it.

Then tear it up.

Post your next letter to OP here also. This is the correct place to discuss this innate need of most BS's to confront the OP.... and the pure folly in that action.

Best of luck

I am laughing out LOUD!!! That was a great response!!!!

And, I'm really not trying to be hard-headed, but I would love to hear reasons. See, I've read that we're supposed to send the Plan B letter to the OP with a "note."

So, my letter is a little more than a "note."

And, I'm not against following your advice, but I really would like some expounding. Thanks.

Still chuckling.

Chaka,

So glad that you took my note in the light handed yet truthful manner in which it was intended.

Experience from almost all the veterans on MB forums shows that any OP note, letter, telephone call or email falls on deaf ears. THEY JUST DON'T CARE.

And they shouldn't, because they are a but one black hole in the universe of an A. My problem was with my WW and me...not some Casanova bent on putting another notch on his sword. If it wasn't him, it most definitely would have been someone else. So you see you are attempting to swat a mirage. They (the OP) have very little to do with what occurred. They have their own problems dealing with their self flagellating urge to play in some one else's back yard.

Honestly, I didn't know that we were supposed to send OP a plan B note (but I haven't gotten to plan B yet <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />)

Like Cymanca said, the OP has her head stuck too far up her butt to pay any attention to what you say. Compassion and empathy are not high on the list right now.

Plus, the letter makes you sound a little weak and wimpy (no offense). I didn't like the part about waiting for WGF, if that is the case, then there is no reason for WGF to hurry her affair-you'll still be there whenever she gets done.

At this point, I wouldn't give the OW anything.

Disclaimer: I called my WH's OW just the other day and had a lovely chat - but we are 6 months into the separation.

So my advice might not mean much <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Of course your advice means much -- AT LEAST TO ME! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And, now, it makes perfect sense! I am SO glad I posted here because it was literally ready to go. Yikes!!!

Both of you, thank you. I shall not send it -- in fact I'll tear it up, as you suggested. I don't want a reminder of my being wimpy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The other thing is that not delivering/mailing this letter helps me to stay dark, which is soooooooooooooooooooooo

HARD!!!

I still keep checking my cell phone to make sure it's working!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I can't wait till I get over the obsessing!

If you are into homeopathic type stuff, I use Bach's White Chestnut drops. It is supposed to help with the obsessing. I also have become addicted to Sudoko puzzles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Chaka,
Are you in Plan B now?
JE