Everything has been too overwhelming and painful. I have been trying to meet all of his EN w/out smothering. Letting him call all the shots and have the ball in his court. I just get so frigan sick and tired of feeling degraded and less of a person when ever I am w/ him. I understand he does not love and wants to move on w/ his life, however if the feelings come back for him, he will hope for a reconsile. He actualy wanted me to go w/ him in separate trucks this wkend, to a horse event, then to go w/ me to look at a horse I am buying for our daughter. Yeah, like I am dying to be around his friends, how humilating... Maybe I should eat it and go?

Each day I have been texting him w/ good morning and other things to try. His responses are minimal at best and somewhat hurtful because they are not what I want.

After all the crap yesterday w/ my staff finding a condom wrapper and his denial. (I actualy believe him, but can't help to think I am in denial)

I felt I had to take a few steps back from him and distance myself a bit, to get my head on straight. He texted me w/ "No goodmorning?" and I simply ignored him. I have not heard from him since, nor have I tried to contact him.

Did I do the wrong thing by doing this???

Julie

Maybe you should rather ask whether it was helpful? Don't be a doormat, but don't avoid either. I suggest you respectfully confide in him and let him know exactly how you are feeling.

I don't think you did the wrong thing. Sounds like your in Plan A. To me plan A is about busting up the A, and helping yourself be the best you can be. (The auxillary benefits of being the best you can be is that it may attract the WS back to the M, it gives you the self-esteem and strength to deal with this crisis, and it prepares you for much better future R's if the WS doesn't come back)

Exposure and confronting the WS about the A does the busting up, being the best you can be can attract the WS back to the M.

To answer the question, about did you do the right thing, ask yourself if it was attractive. Ask yourself if you feel good about it?

I may be a simpleton, but IMHO, you shouldn't worry if texting or not texting was the right thing. Don't analyze every little thing, just work on yourself and be attractive overall. Being attractive is about 3 things.

1 - don't be a jerk (which is basically avoiding LB's).
2 Don't be a doormat, because this is never attractive.
3 Do the things that your WS (and other people for that matter) find most attractive (EN's are MB's best guess at what most people find most attractive).

Finally, even though your goal may be to attract your WS back to the M, let go of doing everything to make WS happy. It's really about being the best you can be.

Just my two cents.