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I cringe to ask this but it's something I'm really interested in. If I'm remembering my SAA correctly, Dr. Harley suggests doing Plan A for about 6 weeks. Steve Harley told me that you do Plan B until you run out of gas.
All people and all conditions vary. Mimi spent 6 months in Plan A and 3 months in Plan B before starting her real recovery. Believer has spent, what?, 2+ years in Plan B and isn't close to recovery at all. Perhaps even the opposite.
What I'd like to know is approximately how long you spent in Plan A, Plan B and what is the state of your relationship.
For example:
Grapegirl: Plan A: ~10 months, Plan B: 8 months, no false recoveries, still contact, Marriage status: limbo
Why do I feel I need this data? Inquiring minds need to know. Humor me.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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I thought SAA says PLAN A for 6 months...
I may be wrong...
I think a lot of folks here think 6 weeks is sufficient...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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I did Plan A for 5 months
Plan B so far has been 5 months.
currently WH is making "noises" for recovery. Have yet to see real action.
I believe when I called in to the Harley show once that Dr. Harley said he now suggests somewhere around 6 weeks for women for Plan A. I'm not sure about men...
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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grape.....Are you sure it is 6 weeks? Seems really short to me, not really enough time to impliment succesfully.....
Daisy
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Hmmm. I thought it was Plan A for 3 months for women, 6 months for men.
Anyway, Plan A'd for about 9 months, and have been in Plan B for over 2 years. I'm enjoying Plan B.
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Actually just the day before yesterday Dr. Harley said women usually couldn't do more than 3 weeks and men 6 months! Maybe he meant 3 months <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> I was surprised. I spent 2 months in plan A after dday and I'm 15 months into plan B.
cc
"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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Somebody get out their copy of SAA and see what it really says about length of Plan A. I'm pretty sure Steve said 6 weeks. I think Steve feels that women already give so much that they can't sustain Plan A for a really long time. It's such a drain on one's love bank that he felt that too long of a Plan A, burns a BS out. Plan B is designed to protect the BS.
I know that my Plan A was 'way too long. My Plan B continues.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Posts: 15,310 |
Steve told me to stay in Plan A as long as possible..until my LOVE BANK started to run out..so I don't think he regularly recommends six weeks in Plan A..at least he didn't with me..
Last edited by mimi1254; 03/17/06 10:30 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I was wondering the EXACT same things, Grapegirl. Great questions. I'm very interested in people's responses.
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I did plan A for 3 months, but this was toooo long for me. I lost my love for my STBX.
I've been in (unofficial) plan B for seven months.
Alph.
Me, BS 37
Him, WXH (Noddy) 40
DD13, DD6
Married 14th August 1993
D/Day 2nd April 05
Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28
Divorce final 6th July '06.
Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx
...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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