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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 77
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Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 77 |
I'm not divorced or planning to be anytime soon, but I have a friend that sucks at dating! In the past she has found herself unable to "be mean" to men and tell them she didn't want to see them anymore. She doesn't want to hurt their feelings, etc. When she does find the courage to break things off it's usually gone on way too long and they are hurt even worse. Then they start dropping the "I thought you loved me..." bombs, crying, borderline stalking stuff. It's easier for her to just continue seeing them than to deal with the conflict she has created through her weakness.
So my question is, what are some good rejection lines that would be palatable to someone such as her but yet get the point across to these men?
Yes, I know she desperately needs to grow a spine, go to counseling and work on her self-esteem issues, etc., and probably not date!
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 782
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 782 |
I always had the same issues - never knew how to "end it". I wold just make myself more "unavailable' till they got the hint or they got mad and just stopped calling me.
Maybe she could try the - I'm just not that "in to you" line.
I don't feel a connection/attraction
Maybe she says the 3 little words way to quick - maybe she's desparate then gets bored with them. Falls to quickly..
She needs to set some boundaries for herself and live by them..
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 77
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 77 |
She does say the ILY way too fast. She reminds me of girls I went to high school with that just were not happy unless they had a man.
Me 40
H 46
Married 20 years
2 DD
1 DS
No affairs, but no SF since 11/05.
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262 |
Never say ILY until you're ready to take the relationship exclusive and further. That's what ILY means to a potential partner.
How to tell a guy it's over:
"<Name>, I really have enjoyed spending time with you, but I don't think this relationship is headed where I would like to go. You'll be a great catch for the right woman, but I don't think I am her. I wish you well. Have a good evening."
Don't do the "let's be friends" thing or say "call me sometime" because those are doors open to misinterpretation.
Understand that lovers don't cross back over to "friend" world easily if at all. If you end it...it's over.
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