Hi all I'm new here and having a marriage crisis. This is long so please bear with me. My husband and I have been seperated for almost a year now. About 6 months ago we decided to reconcile, however we are thousands of miles apart. A couple of months after he filed for divorce I kissed and came very close to having sex with another man. When we started talking 6 months ago I didn't tell him about that incident. There was no relationship, as a matter of fact I stopped talking to him because he got angry because I wouldn't have sex with him. Any way last night my husband asked me if I had been involved with another man since the split, he told me that he could handle it and he already had something figured in his mind. So I told him. Now, naturally, he is upset and doesn't want to continue working on our marriage. At the time of this incident even though our divorce wasn't final I never thought in a million years that we would reconnect. I left in April, came back for some things a week later and found another woman's clothes in my house, and he filed for divorce in June. He later told me that he moved out to avoid any conflict and let someone else move in. I didn't believe that but eventually I forgave him and brushed it uner the rug. I don't want to lose him and don't know what to do to keep him. If it had ever crossed my mind that we would have a future I never would have done it. I also feel like he's being a little harsh considering what he did and the fact that I didn't sleep with the man. Anybody who has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.

dell,
Welcome to MB.
You might want to jump over to GQII on the Infidelity forum.

I think your H's reaction that now he doesn't want to work on the marriage is his anger and hurt talking right now. Give him a chance to process what you've told him before you hold him to the idea that he is done with the marraige now.

There is a lot of help on the infidelity forum.

Hopefully your H can eventually understand that you didn't foresee being back with your H when you were with the other man. But you still need to accept responsibility for the fact that you WERE still married, and that this has hurt and scared your H.

Give him time, and listen listen listen to what he tells you about his feelings. It is natural and right for him to feel hurt and betrayed.

MSA

Thanks