Hurting 2:

I haven't posted to your mom's thread for quite a long time, but I've followed her progress, struggles etc. all of the while. With that said, I've seen her struggles with you as well. How can you help her. Very simple. Behave yourself, get your GED, get a job and don't disrespect her as you have done frequently in the past several months, ie stealing, lying, etc.

Hurting 2, it's time to start taking responsbility for your actions. You're a legal adult. Our daughter has struggled too, however, we realized after a few times of helping her out of her messes and covering for her, we weren't doing her any favors. Now if she makes bad choices, she has consequences to pay.

As far as your father goes. He is your still your father and you need to respect that, however, you don't need to respect his actions, as they deserve no respect. Some of what your mother has posted (and I'm sure we don't hear everything) in addition to his A with OW, shows his lack of responsibiity in general, ie borrowing money from you, buying stereo systems for his vehicle when he can't afford to pay attention etc.

I won't apologize for sounding harsh because in my not so humble opinion, you need a good wake up call. I know after reading this, you'll be cussing and b--tching, p---ing and moaning about me and my post. Take it like an adult and learn from this post even though you don't like it.

WE ALL - - EVERYONE inclusive go through struggles, trials and tribulations, it's how we choose to deal with them that makes the difference.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with your father's selfishness and lack of responsbility at this point in your life, however, learn from it and pick yourself up. Do something for yourself. You can only control you.

Do you really want to end up in the hooskow (jail) off and on the rest of your life? At your young age, you've been in enough trouble already haven't you. Start making good choices and don't wallar in self-pity. Put as much energy into doing something productive as you have been being unproductive. That's how you help you mom out.

thank you all... i appreciate all the advice..

i am not [email]b@*!%ing[/email] about what you posted because it is all true. Thank you for posting to me.

You're welcome. Now what's you plan of action? I'll make a auggestion. Make a list of things you need to do to get yourself on track, number them by priority and get started with #1.

Good Luck.

What happend to my post? I thought it was a good one, too! It disappeared.

Wrong thread, Belle! http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2969939

that is a good suggestion.... i am going to try that... thank you...

oops.

i just wan to say thank you to all you guys... ya are such a big help... if you have anymore advice for me please post...

Just sending you a Hug and an Aloha from the middle of the big blue.

Very proud of you H2. Tell your mom I said Hi. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

Hurting2,

Continue to love both your parents.... As stated above, don't condone your father's behaviour or his girlfriend but still love him. You only have one dad.

Let your mom know how incredibly much you love her. Let her know that you disagree with what your dad has done but there is nothing you or her can do. Then let her be your mom as that will help her more than anything.

Keith

Work on your right hook and keep the left hand up protecting your face. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mr. Wondering

okay i will.. hope you are having fun..

me and mom have been getting along alot better... i hope it stays this way.. i love her so much and dont want to lose her like i lost everyone else...

My darling daughter,

I wish I knew the words to say to you to make this all better and right. I know the pain your in is something you never expected in your life. I wish I could take it all away amd erase it from your memory.

I was so caught up in my own pain and sorrow I didn't see
what was happening to you and your brothers. For that I am so sorry. I wish I could take it back and make you all feel safe but I can't. I never expected to be left alone to finish raising you kids. Your father and I had you children together and I planned on us raising you together forever.

I rememeber the day you were born, it was my 28 th birthday and you were the best birthday present I ever recieved. I remember holding you for the first time and loving you with all that I am. You are my little girl and always will be. I took you home on Christmas day in a red stocking. What a wonderful present you were for the whole family.

I'll never forget the day your dad and I almost lost you. The pain of seeing my child on life support and not knowing if you woould live was the most gut wrenching experience a mother can have. Your dad and I prayed and prayer you would be ok. We clung to each other for dear life. I always thought we would cling to each other in times of heartache and pain.

Since your dad left I have been so wrapped up in him and I , I neglected to make sure you were ok. Please forgive me for this. I never meant to push you or your brothers to the side. My eyes are wide open now and I see the damage this has all done to you and for that I am sorry. I can't apologize for your dad but I can for my part in it all.

I see now some of the things you said and did were cries for help and cries for me to pay attention to you and how you were feeling. I am paying attention now let me help you, talk to me let me know how you feel. I will listen and do my best to understand and help you.

I promise you this I will always love you no matter what, and I will never walk away from you or our family. I have fought so hard to make our family whole again and I pray one day it will be whole again. I love your dad and the man he used to be. I hope and pray he becomes that man again someday.

I have never asked you kids not to love your dad as he needs you to. I want you to have a good relationship with him but in having that relationship it does not mean you have to accept his bad choices or condone them. You can love him and tell him how you feel there is nothing wrong in that. If he chooses to become angry and walk away its his choice because he knows he is wrong and he can't face the truth. But believe me he will come to see it and realize the mistakes he has made. Your dad loves you never doubt that he is just a very confused man right now. He has to work all of this out for himself, we have to let him do this by letting go.

In the meantime we have to strive to be the best we can be and lean on each other and love each other. We can make it , I promise you that and we will.

I love you and don't ever forget that. I may not be perfect and may not always be the best mom in the world but I am you mom and no one can change that. You kids are my heart and what keeps me going .....

With all of my love,

Mom

Dear Mom,
I just read your post and I am in tears. I know that I have not been that good of a daughter but as you can tell I am changing for the best. I love you MOM and always will. I am sorry for all the things I have done. Love you.
Your Daughter

Hurting2,

You and your mom's love touched my heart. Pray to Jesus too, and ask for forgiveness and to make you into the image He wants you, and He will. Trust Him for everything, and ask Him to direct your steps, and He will. Look what He has done for mom. He will do the same for you. Stay obedient okay. Your a sweet girl, and God has a great plan for you. Sometimes we just have to get out of the way of doing our own thing, things that aren't pleasing to Him, and just do the right thing. God loves you Hurting2.
He is the best Father of all.

Blessings,
Lady