Anyone who has been through recovery and restored their marriage.

How do you know when to forgive your FWS.

It will be 2 years in May since my W moved out and during that time had A's. Last March I found out there were 4 men. This past January I found out there were 7. I tried counselling before and after our separation and it didn't work. Now she told me and our counselor in our last session that she did it because it was a cry for help and a way to get attention.

I have a hard time believing that. Our counselor told us to make a list of things we hold against our spouse, or things they do that bother us and we can deside what to do with that list. Either forgive, forget and move on or hold the grudge so to say.

My wife's A's are at the top of the list, but I get the impression that she doesn't fully understand how much damage/pain she caused. She thinks that my lack of meeting her needs prior is just as bad as her A's.

I am very tired of always feeling down, hurt and depressed about all this and I know that my forgiving her will make things easier, but I feel I'm not ready to forgive. I finally got some honesty less than 2 months ago and now I'm supposed to get over it already? I don't know how.

Did it make things easier or better when you forgave your WS?