Good Morning All,

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Maybe this week will be our best one in a while. What's going on today?

My weekend was ok. Went out with friends on Saturday night. It was fine, I guess. Yesterday was rainy and cool, so I just stayed home with Sam. Last night, Sam and I sat on the porch with a blanket and just watched and listened to the rain. I was very sad yesterday. I kept thinking back to all the wonderful times, and how close that I thought we were, and I missed my W so much. Couldn't help but sit there and cry and feel hopeless for the future. I am so tired of feeling like this. Prayed really hard for God to ease this off of me, but I guess He will in his own way.

Sorry to start off the week down, but I just am. Maybe you guys can give me a swift kick in the a$$.

Well, Tired, I'll kick you if you promise to kick me right back becuase it looks as if we both spent a weekend of "thinking".

My weekend was ok too. Recording on Sat was tiring. But we now have the tracks laid down to five songs, I think. So it's a good start. Saturday night we didn't do anything but sit around, which I didn't mind. I was pooped!

Sunday we got up and went outside to work in the yard. It made me start thinking, too much. I first startedt thinking of how much I'd miss working out in the yard with H, and the kids playing while we worked. We always enjoyed working in the yard and making it look nice. Then my thoughts changed to "why in the world am I doing out here working in a yard that I wont even be seeing anymore". One of the boxwoods is practically all but dead, and H was saying how he dreaded digging it up. He asked me "Should I just dig it up and plant something else there?" I told him, "yes, that looks like what you're going to have to do">

He then asks me what I thought "we" should put there. I told him "I dont know what YOU should put there, you'll have to ask your mother what she thinks". And I didn't say it to be spiteful, but I really don't care what he puts there. It's not my yard anymore. He said "well I'm asking your opinion". I didn't answer him.

So I had mixed feelings of sadness and anger at the same time. But I did very good, I didn't cry and I didn't act mad or hurt or anything. I hid my feelings very well. I am so thankful for these AD's, if I had been out in the yard working a month ago (while I wasnt on the AD's) I'd have been crying and throwing snot every where.

Also, we were shopping and ran into a friend. The freind knew that at one time we were looking for some property down around where he lives. He said "Hey, there's a piece of property coming up for sale soon that's close to where I live, are ya'll still lookig?". I just said "No, were not looking any more." And my H looked at me so funny. It was a look of confusion. So I don't know what that was all about.

So, here we are today. I sure hope this week is better than last week. OOOOOH NOOOO> my boss is outside fighting with someone, I'd better go. Check back in later.

Tired, I hope you have a good day...be strong!

Soon, you are so strong. I don't know how you do it. It's liking watching someone you love die. (Sorry to be morbid, but it's true).

I too, get to thinking about all the good times and things we did, and how she swore that we would last forever. Our M, was full of so much good, we never fought or argued, always had a good time together, laughed often. I really thought that we would last for a lifetime. How could I have been such a fool? Maybe it was good only for me, but I don't believe that. Her smiles and "I love you's" seemed so real, guess I was wrong about that too.

It's tough running into people who don't know what's going on? Everyone who knew us thought that we were the perfect pair.

Soon, you are doing great even though you don't feel like you are. Try to have a good day. Help the boss fight with someone, that sounds like fun.

Phew! Well, that little episode just blindsided me! Boss got into fight with someone about parts. A yelling match right here in front of me. I thought they were going to start throwing punches! It's over with now though. Wow, it's way too early for this...and it's a Monday.

I don't think that you are wrong at all about her happiness while you were together. I can't say what happened to it, why it went away. But it's like I said before, no one can fake happiness for that long. Let's not talk about that right now. Let's talk about something else.

So, how old is Sam? Have you had him since he was a puppy? My friend has a bassett hound, can't remember his name. She has so many dogs, she takes in stray dogs which is good. But I don't know how she does it. She just started her own business making dog bones, she's doing pretty good with it. She has a website and everything.

Weather is nasty here. First day of spring, and it's sleeting outside. I'm ready for some warm weather! Wait a minute...no I'm not. I do not want summer to get here.

Did you get your house clean? If so, you can come clean mine next!

Good Morning...
lots of emotions. H moved into the city. He's very depressed. As I predicted he didn't throw enough away and he is sitting in a pile of rubble. He didn't plan for this move..and so now he's depressed. I keep offering to help him, but he declines.

My parents are in town for some medical stuff. My H may be doing a procedure on my Mom...hopefully it will help with the cramps in her legs.

We all went to dinner (parents, H) and my dear friends with thier two kids and an old childhood girlfriend. It was lovely... It didn't even feel different...H and I interact the same as if we were not getting a D. Very odd.

H is determined to divorce me. He sees that as the ultimate punishment. He doesn't care about his happiness he can only seek revenge at this point.

He is a sad, angry person. Oh well...that's what drove us apart - I want to be happy and positive and so now I must do that.

Tired - hang in there buddy. You weren't/aren't a fool. Everyone has their demons. Who know what is going on with your wife - or what the future holds. All we know is that we can't make anyone do anything they don't want to - and besides we don't want someone to come to us with a gun to their head! I know someday and probably sooner than you think - you will be happy and with a special person.

All the best...
Cis

You're right Soon. Too early in the week to talk about this stuff. A Monday morning fight at the office? That's a great way to start the week.

Glad the recording session was successful and mainly that you enjoyed doing it. Bluegrass, right? Will this album be available for purchase? I will buy one and pay shipping if you will autograph the cover.

Samson, is a tri-color basset hound. He is 4 years old and we got him when he was 6 weeks old. He is such a good dog. He likes me to hold him when I watch TV, and I like doing that also. He is house trained and doesn't chew on anything that he's not supposed to. He does think that my recliner is his, so we bump heads on that sometimes, but all in all a very good dog.

It's been rainy and cool here all weekend. We needed the rain so badly, so I'm not complaining. Good weekend to watch the basketball games and movies. I guess that I'm a romantic because I love to snuggle up when it's cold and rainy.

I got my house cleaned, mostly anyway, but I don't think I want to do yours. I hated doing mine. The only fun is chasing Sam with the vacuum cleaner. He's terrified of it.

It is very odd that you two can go out and things seem the same as they always did. It is odd isn't it? That's the way my H and I are. Still have SF, go out and act as if nothing is even wrong. Yet, he is still adamant about the stupid D. Makes no sense to me at all. but that's just the way it is.

You chase Sam with the vaccuum? So mean! That's ok, I must admit sometimes I chase the baby with the vaccuum, he is just toddling now but he'll run as fast as he can and just laugh and laugh. It's so funny.

And he's house trained? I was never any good at trying to house train. I just always ended up putting them outside to stay. Never had the patience for it. I love hounds, those big floppy ears. Was it hard to get him trained? And he doesn't chew either??? How in the heck did you do that!

I only chase him a little. I know you can't help but smile when chasing the toddler. I'm smiling just thinking about it.

Sam pretty much house trained himself. He hasn't went in the house for a couple of years. When he does go out, it takes him forever, because he has to sniff everything before going. I have a shop in my backyard, with a privacy fence and pickett fence, so he stays out there during the day. The shop is heated/cooled and has a doggie door so he can go in or be outside, whichever he wants. As for the chewing, I had to smoke that butt a few times, but he caught on really quickly. He wants to be good, sometimes temptation gets the best of him, so I don't get on him too much.

Wow! That is amazing that he basically trained himself. Really it is. Sam must be very very smart. It's good that he has somewhere to stay during the day. You treat him very well. Well I guess were all picky about where we choose to do our business, and being a hound I'm sure he's really really picky.

Can bassett's swim? I have wondered about that. Their legs are so short, with those long bodies...it would seem difficult for them to swim. I know that's a silly question to ask...sometimes I just think of these things....they just pop into my head for no apparent reason. I'm kind of weird like that.

Well now, I wouldn't describe him as smart. He still does some dumb stuff, but he tries. He's very picky about not only where he does his business, but also which direction he's facing while doing it. All of this of course, doesn't matter if someone is walking by, as he will have to relieve himself in front of them. Dogs?

Sam can swim. My mom has a pool at her house and I have taken him swimming with the boys a few times. He swims good, but hates the water. It to close to bathing, and he hates a bath.

I wonder how thankful is. I seen where she posted late Friday, or maybe it was Sat. Looks like her H isn't doing so well. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you start to see things though.

I am so bored here. Nothing to do. And when I'm not busy the day just seems to drag on and on.

Tired, did you say you were on AD's. I can't remember. If so, did you start taking them with the intention that you'd take them to help get you through this mess and then wean yourself off of them when you felt like you could?

I started taking them with those intentions. But at this point, I really don't think I could live without them and regret the fact that I didn't start taking them a long time ago. I am amazed at how much better I am able to handle things now. The crying spells have stopped. Heck, Saturday when I got home the house was empty, H and boys hadn't gotten home yet and I was sitting out on the porch thinking (again) about how I'm going to have to leave behind everything I've known for the last five years. And I wanted to cry, but couldn't. It was strange,

Goodmorning everyone. I spent a lot of time on my porch thinking about the past too. I have to be out of my home by the 28th and just taking my pictures off the walls was enough to make me cry all day Saturday. That it is really happening. At least I have my dogs too. Tank, a yorkie and Daisy a mini schnauzer. They are like my children and my husband only wants them if I don't want to do something his way then he says he will fight for them. I have to stay at my parents house until I figure out where Im going to live. I hate all this-we never fought either and I feel like I'm going back to my parents house with my tail between my legs like some big failure. Right now my stbxh's best friend is speaking at my office (I work in real estate)and its so weird b/c he and his wife have stopped talking to me completly I guess for loyalty to my H. but he came in my office today and said Hi? I think I must've given him a disgusted look on my face for speaking to me. I know that is rude but I can't help it.

I did post with Thankful this weekend. I'm worried about her and her H, with him getting sick all the time. Maybe she will check in soon.

Well, if your bored just keep posting. We can talk about anything.

I am taking Lexapro. I started doing this to help me get through until the divorce is final. I did stop taking them for about 3 weeks during this process, and I starting getting really dark, so about a month ago I started again. I plan on weaning off after the D. I can still cry through them sometimes, but it's not too bad. I always held my wife a lot on rainy days, and we liked to snuggle together, so I think that triggered my sadness yesterday.

Does your band go to Bluegrass Festivals? Been to a couple near my hometown, with some really big names there. It was fun.

Hi Beaux. I'm sorry that you had a rough time this weekend. I haven't even started packing yet. I need to. I just keep putting it off. I have been doing as well as can be expected lately, but I'm sure once I start getting things together to move out...It will be a different story.

I took Lexapro after my first child, had post partum depression. I didn't like it, made me feel like I was a zombie. And the dr. told me that when I stopped taking it to gradually stop it. Well, like a dummy, I didn't do what she said, I just quit cold turkey and for about three months I was really out of it. I didn't feel good at all.

I am taking zoloft now. Zoloft is my best friend. We get along really really great.

Yes, we do some festivals. We were so busy last year that we decided to tone it down a bit this year so we could get a new cd out. It's hard when everyone works full time jobs to get it together. I love the festivals too. Oh no, here they come again...
Loved to just pack up the tent and some firewood and all kinds of food and snacks and head out to the festivals and camp all weekend. Listen to the bands all day, go take a nap when we got tired, chasing the oldest around everywhere. then going back and listenening to the bands some more, then going back and starting a fire. Dad gum it why does it have to be this way? Why is he doing this when he doesn't even know if it's right or not?????

OK, I'm over it now. I just heard on the radio where they are closing some schools nearby...due to inclement weather. What the hay? It's raining. Well, it is cold and it has been sleeting so maybe some areas are bad.

I wish they'd close work due to inclement weather. Maybe I can talk them into shutting down due to lack of interest.

The "lack of interest" work closure is always a great idea, but seldom comes about. Just keep talking about how slick the roads are getting and it might be best to close up now, for everyone's safety of course.

Soon, have you ever heard of a festival called "Turkey Track". Was really big a few years ago. I haven't been in years. It's fun, sitting around whittling, telling tall tales and listening to the music.

Hi Beaux. I think Soon and I have decided to talk about good things today. Sorry you had a rough weekend, but pull up some good thoughts and join in.

Never heard of Turkey Track. Where's that at? When?
My band has a website, well, sorta. Were still working on it. www.lonemountainstation.com. if you wanta check it out.

Yep, only good things to talk about today. We can let those lonely feelings drift in and out, but lets concentrate on something else, alteast for today. I think were doing a pretty good job so far!

my counselor wants me to get on ad's. I'm kind of nervous-never had to take any meds before. Does everyone going through a divorce need anti depressants? Yeah, packing makes it final more final than going to mediation or saying its over. Once you're stuff is out of the house that is it. And he wants us to talk and maybe have dinner after we divorce, but I don't think I can do that. I think I will have to cut off all contact just to get over everything and honestly I'm being forced out of my home and won't be that inclined to talk with the person respondsible for that.

Turkey Track is held near the little community of Waldron, Arkansas and the main festival is in June. Had some big names there at times, ie: Bill Monroe, Marty Stuart, etc. I'm not a big bluegrass fan, but it is fun to go.

I will check out the website.