Ok, I'm really trying to hard to cope. First he tells me that he has had an affair with the lesbian (or not quite) ex-lover of his best friend (a lesbian). Then he tells me that he doesn't want to work on our relationship and moved out, quit his job, and spent all his time down in Kansas (where she had recently moved). Despite my attempts at Plan A, he keep reiterating that he is committed to her. Now he says that he has pubic lice. "I must have caught it on the airplane down". Yeah right! She's probably messing around on him. How long do I have to keep trying. Plan B time?<P>I haven't heard much talk on STD's on the message board, but I think it is a topic that needs to be addressed.

Kate, <BR> First things first. Get to the Dr. NOW and be heked for any and every STD there is. While public lie can be picked up from innocent things, it's rare. There are STD's out there that an lie dormant for a very long time before you develope symptoms.<P> As for going to plan B, only you know when you have had enough plan B is for when you just can't do A anymore, or when you notice that your love for the spouse is dropping. You do it to try to perserve the love you have left.<P> But if the person he is involved with is gay or bi, well who knows how long it will be before she becomes intrested in another woman ? I have to wonder how that will affect your h .<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Kate, in case you didn't know, you're H's OW post on the other woman board....www.gloryb.com/board under the user name Bee Queen.

That's bad

Kate, I'm so sorry for your pain. And the total "YUCK!!!!" feeling a STD gives the betrayed. The only way I could deal with it was to consider it as just another facet of the affair, like lying & disappearing.<P>STDs have been covered here & there on the board. I'd like to share my story. In spring of 98 I was diagnosed with HPV, had a full STD screen. My H swore there was no one else (LIAR!). I also developed dysplasia of the cervix, went on PAPs every 6 months with STD tests each time. Had a variety of other infections during the 1 1/2 years that can or may not be STDs. I retested this Aug. after discovering he had renewed the affair AGAIN. Not only did I not have anything new, the HPV & dysplasia have disappeared. <P>I give God the glory. I wasn't really even praying for healing, but the HPV, which is usually permanent--and still can reoccur--was such a huge stumbling block in my trying to forgive my H.<P>Miracles of all sorts do happen.<P><BR>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Lor (Lor) (edited October 01, 1999).]

Angelface-thanks for the update. Its strange seeing the other side of the relationship from the OW's point of view. She is not the other woman. While in the last day, I have found out that she is really 23 years old, but still...but she is from Kansas. Not the same person though.