Hi, I’m new to this forum and pretty distressed about a problem that I am too embarrassed to discuss with anyone I know in person. I’ve been married for three years, and am pregnant with our first child. My husband’s sister (my age) and we have never exactly liked each other—she was very hostile towards me (nothing dramatic but petty behavior, slights) after she found out that he was serious about me—I couldn’t for the world figure out why she was like that or what I was doing to her that was so bad—it put a real strain on my and my husband’s relationship—but things have become better with her over the years, even though they’re not great.
A couple of days ago, my husbad admitted something very disturbing to me: He said that he once saw his sister naked and masturbating—she was 14 and he 17—and he has reason to believe that she did that on purpose (meaning, for him to see). She had her door open, she must have heard him coming because he was talking loudly, and she made no effort to cover herself when he saw her. Then, 2 years later, she and he had to share a room for a couple of weeks or so when they were on a trip with the family. She would strip naked in the adjoining bathroom right across from his bed and clean up getting ready for bed, making provocative moves, etc. If this is not disturbing enough, he masturbated while looking at her. He told me that usually when he masturbates he doesn’t think that he would actually have sex with the woman if he had an opportunity to, but he actually wanted to have sex with her, and would have if he weren’t so timid. He would actually let her see him masturbate. Nothing happened, and this went on for those two weeks, and a little while afterwards he would masturbate thinking of her.
He and I met three years later. He says he feels bad about this He tells me he doesn’t think like this about her anymore, to just think of her as any other woman showing T and A that he was aroused by, but it doesn’t feel the same to me. She’s mean, tried to put a wedge between us, and I have to see her pretty often because we visit his family often. I find this really distressing. I know that thoughts of incest are probably more common than I used to believe, but I just feel a little sickened by this. I don’t know what to do. Is this normalm something I shouldn't worry about? Have any of you dealt with anything similar? I don’t even know what to think.