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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420 |
Trust is earned with time and transparency. When your FWS' actions consistently show a commitment to the M, and he/she acts in trustworthy ways at all times, the trust will come back. But, she would have to show this and she is not. I am sorry.
Someone with nothing to hide, hides nothing.
I am a FWW and current BS, I know how devastating this is. You are at the beginning of this painful journey...
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
need, who is this OM? Is he married? Do they work together? Do you know who his parents are?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 251
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 251 |
Dear need2,
I hear your agony. My WH always presented this trustworthy honest to goodness persona before the A, but it was all a front. WS will lie and sell their souls to the devil just to cover up their lies. Your gut instincts (pretty strong one) that your WW is still in contact with OM. You might also want to get a keylogger you can plug into your home desktop computer to track and retrieve your WW activities on the net including her email password. Found this on MB. can't remember who posted it. But I think it's in the GQII.
Also, to help you through this, I suggest reading 'FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY", by Susan Jeffers. Recommended to my by my counselor. Book deals with techniques for turning fear, indecision and anger into power, action and love. I'm nearly half way through, and so far it has allowed my to look at myself from within and change the way I've allowed my WH A affect me. And I know, I will be okay with or without the WH. Bought it at Barnes and Nobel, for $14.00
Good luck.
Stargazelily
Me (BS) 46
WH 42
WH A over a year
D-day 2/1/06
kicked WH out 2/1/06 still living w/his buddy and wife
implemented plan B 3/19/06
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 251
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 251 |
When my WH and I went out for dinner, I took his wallet while he was paying for the bill and pulled out a calling card. Who the f**** needs a calling card when there are cell phones? So I said, "great way to cover up affair isn't?"
Him: Well, sometimes I need to make calls when I'm out on business
Me: When you're out on business, hotels have phones don't they?
Him: Yes
Me: So if you're on business, the company pays for your calls don't they?
Him: Yes
Me: You can do better than that.
Him: silence.
Me: You must think I'm stupid
Him: silence with a guilty look on his face
You see, WS uses so much energy trying to cover up their affairs at all costs.
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