He cheated on me four years ago, and it took me up until just recently to feel like I had truly recovered from that. Then, he tells me this past Saturday night that he has been seeing another woman for the past SEVEN MONTHS!!! She doesn't want to be with him ever since he admitted to her a few weeks ago that he really was still married and living with me and our daughter, and he is so depressed about that. He has told me repeatedly in the past few days that she was his best friend and that he misses his best friend terribly. I can't deal with this pain. I am shaking and crying uncontrollably right now.
Technically, he's actually cheated on me four times! I had no idea about that until I talked to the other woman on the phone today. She told me that he told her that he once made out with a girl from work who by the way is also married. Also, she apparently has let him know ever since then that she is up for more (i.e. wanting to actually have sex with him) if he's interested. Then, just within the past few weeks after the long term other woman broke up with him, he supposedly went over to some waitresses house that he met and played Mario Kart with her on two separate occasions, and she wanted a kiss when he was going out the door so he gave her one. I am just so sick right now. who is this monster that I married???

hsmommyto1,

I'm so very sorry for what you are going through, I'm going through a very similar situation right now. My wife has been having an affair for over a year now with another man from work. (See my post "I'm so defeated")

I can relate to your emotions, but for what it's worth I have found some comfort knowing there are others who have been through this before and can share there wisdom and experiences.

We don't have any kids, but I can only imagine how alone you feel. Protecting your daughter and trying to cope sure doesn't sound easy at all.

How is it that people can be so cruel. Lately all I hear about is restoring family values, and the importance of religion. So if this is so popular why do people act like this?

I hope things do get better for you, and you can find the light at the end of the tunnel. I know for me it is a very long tunnel to travel, and being in the dark is the most freighting feeling ever.

Good luck to you.

hsmommy,

I am really sorry that you are going thru this. Frankly, it is exactly what each of us BS fear will happen. I know that it must be terrible after going thru the heck of recovery to find out that it all seems like a complete waste of time.

Has your WH told you want he wants. Did you go to MC following his A 4 years ago? Have you done everything you can to identify and meet each others EN's?

Not saying that your WH is one of them, but some folks just are not capable of fidelity. Could this be the case for him?

I just don't know if I could even consider going thru another d-day and still remain with my FWH. FWIW, I think that moving on after d-day and getting over H would have been easier. I can't and won't do it again if it comes to that.

Who

need advice.I just found out about my husband's second 'fling' when i discovered that ols favorite lipstickon his collar. i was devastated, having taken 7 years to get over his first fling. i had thought i understood before because we really were going through a bad time and i partly blamed myself for not properly looking after his needs. the problem is that he spends so much time abroad on business - he tells me how lonely he feels,and i tell him that i, too, feel lonely but i honour our relationship and children and stop myself tho i have been in situations that i could turn into affairs. then, after much talking he finally admitted to a two year affair three years ago - this rocked my whole being. i knew there was something not right between us but i just thought it was the strain of his job and being away from home. he now can't understand why i'm upset because he assures me that it was over and is history and he was the one who ended it when she required more commitment and he couldn't commit because of me and the children. help. there seems no solution because he can't or won't change his job even though he knows how lonely we both are.how can we possibly spend more than 15 hours together to build on this relationship and make it better if he is away for three quarters of every month and tells me that these things are 'bound' tohappen but mean nothing to him and have nothing to do with me - but a two year relationship? am i being completely naive to think we can sort this out happily or should i follow my instincts and leave him?i'm sorry if i've written this in the wrong place but i'm new to this forum and couldn't find a place to file my own problem.