So if I am trying real hard to do plan A, but FWW does something related to EA that really ticks me off, should I let her know how I feel or should I just keep quiet and try to forget about it? This has already happened and I did let her know how I felt. For the future, was that the right thing to do? I don't think it was, but I'd appreciate advice.

Also, what she did to tick me off did not involve contact with OM and I don't think there is any real contact (she has seen him in carpool line once in the past month). I actually think the EA is over. Not totally sure I believe it, but it probably is.

One other consideration is that she is also unhappy with me in general right now and she was before her EA. This is related to my actions over the past 10 years or so (I did not have an A, however). I have been working on this very hard for almost 2 mos. now and there has been progress. By work, I mean I have been trying to meet her EN's - sort of plan A, but I have had too many LBs talking about her EA. She has noticed my effort and I do think there has been progress. But she is still unhappy with me.

Seems to me that I need to eliminate all LBs and work on her ENs. That can be hard sometimes when she does or says things related to EA that I can't take.

Thanks

No. R U doing working on your improvements? Have you identified your personal boundaries? Have you done phone cousneling with Jennifer from MB?

L.

I am working very hard on improvements. Have not talked to Jennifer, but we do go to MC and have read the books.

I think I have identified my personal boundaries - by that do you mean what I am willing to put up with regarding contact with OM etc.?

Orchid: Good.


Orchid: Personal Boundaries are what you have decided you will or will NOT put up with in YOUR life. My initial list was looong....shortened down to 1 item: NO ow in MY life. That then meant even if I had to lose the OW, my boundary still stood. Was it a risk? Yes, but I realized it was more important to me NOT to have the OW in my life.

Btw, you should NOT have to put up with anything pertaining to the OM. Raise the bar......raise your values. U R worth more than a WS.

L.

Orchid - Thanks. I have raised the bar - did it yesterday in fact when I told OMW all has been going on.

I don't understand what you meant by the following statement. Would you please explain:



Thanks.