Good Friday morn! Thank you , Thankful, for checking in with us and letting us know that you are ok. Sounds like each day you and your H are making big steps in the recovery of your M! Just keep it up! You are doing so great!

Tired, sounds like you and Zach had a great time! How was the Lasagna? As far as the early morning phone call, well, I drove by the house that the call came from. I do indeed think that this person had the wrong number. It was some type of low income housing, not that I have anything against low income housing, but it was pretty run down. Looked like some place you see on the movies when the cops are looking for some dead beat druggie. So, if that's what he's after, I wish him well. But, like I said, I believe I was jumping to conclusions.

You asked about what H would say if I told him I didn't want to wait...I couldn't say that anyway becuase I have no where to go right now. My renters haven't moved out yet. I told them they had until the second wk in May, if they move out before then, then I will consider it. And honestly, if I told him that I was going to go ahead and move out, I think he'd just say "OK< if that's what you want".

The oldest is leaving tonight for Disney. I am going to miss him so bad. I've never been away from him that long. They are not coming back until next Saturday. I know that he will have fun though. I worry about the drive down there, they don't always put the car seat in the car right. I've noticed that before. And they pay more attention to the other grandson than they do mine. But I just have to stop worring and trust that they will take care of him.

I had rehearsal last night. I had to get there early to re-record Fire on the Mtn (Marshall Tucker version, NOT Charlie Daniels version). So we have five songs down now. I got home late, the boys stayed at my parents as they were calling for bad weather here and was afraid I couldn't get them back up there this morn. My parents live in the sticks and the roads are always worse down there. But, like usual, it just rained.

OK, I'm getting lonely here.

Good Morning,

Thankful, I am so happy for you. Things are sounding so good with his actions speaking instead of just words. This is so great. Stick with your tough love, and set some boundaries so that you will keep his respect. Thankful, you said something that I want to address. IMHO I don't think that tough love means being cold, or unreachable. Don't think that being kind and soft means that your love is not tough. Love is kind, even if it is tough. Tough love just means that you love him with all your heart, you just won't tolerate bad choices on his part. I encourage you to embrace him with all your heart, be good to him and don't hold anything back, expect the best, but be ready to come down hard if he "willingly and knowingly" disrespects you. I am proud of you.

Good morning Soon. Sorry I'm late this morning. Had to drop off a truck at the dealer's for service. I'm glad that you have eased your mind about the phone call. It just seemed to odd to be anything other than random.

Zach and I had fun last night. Shot some pool, watched "Chicken Little", ate some lasagna. The lasagna was excellant by the way. If you haven't tried it, you should. Just don't tell anyone that it is frozen, they will never know. Sam is doing great. He thinks since Zach is at my house that he gets a day off from his security job, so he is happy. I have a sign on my yard fence that says "WARNING - THIS PROPERTY IS PROTECTED BY BASSET HOUND SECURITY SERVICES", and I think that makes him feel important.

I wasn't suggesting that you tell your H that, just wondering what his response would be. It just don't add up with him.

I know that your are going to miss your oldest. It will be tough, but he will have fun. You said something that troubles me a little though. Do the grandparents give preferential treatment to one child over another? This is a pet peeve to me. All of them should be treated equal. I always strived to treat my son and stepson the same exact way, whether on gifts or even alternating who gets to ride in the front of the car. I'm glad he is getting to go, I just hope that you will be ok with it. They will take care of him.

I love Marshall Tucker Band, and would love to hear your version of Fire on the Mountain. Did you have a good time? I hope so, you deserve it. Fill me in on all the details.

OK, I get the point and now I'm getting lonely.

Yes, they do treat the grandchildren differently. Their two oldest grandchildren are 13 and 9...I think. Then there's a four year old and my oldest (who's three), then there's a one year old (little girl, and my youngest who's also one. Confused now?

The grandparents travel two hours just about every weeken to visit the four yr old and the baby girl. They have always been partial to my H youngest brother kids. ALWAYS. It has always been a problem with me. They would go and visit them, three and four times a week. Do you know how many times they have been to our house since we've been married. I can count the times on one hand.

This is my biggest problem. When I became pregnant with my youngest, my H and his whole family denied him. Even though my A had been completely over, NC at all, for over a year and a half. My mother n'law even said that it would be a "blessing in disguise" if something happened and I lost the baby. They told everyone that I became pregnant on purpose in order to keep my H at home. Which I did not, I was on birth control, and would never stoop that low as to bring a child in this world in an already unstable relationship just to keep my H at home. That's childish.

Anyway, my H never went to any of my Dr appts throughout the pregnancy. He did go to probably two of them, I think. My oldest son, he only missed one appt, always made sure that he could get off work to go with me. His family never asked how the baby was doing. On the day the baby was born, his parents showed up...never took the first picture. Now, when H brother and his wife had their little girl almost a month later...they took about three rolls of picture.

I don't know how many times when they ACTUALLY DO ask if our oldest can come down and stay, he gets to go. But not the baby. Ofcourse, the baby is a little more work than a three yr old, and they are lazy people. But it's still not fair. So, on this disney trip...every one of the grandchildren are going...except for my little baby.

I'm not sure why they treat him this way. It really bothers me, and I have brought this up to my H, but he says the usual, I'm crazy ...I'm making it up....they don't treat the baby any differently.

H parents paid to have DNA tests done on both of our children. So, it's not like they have some kind of doubt that the baby is not my H.

I remember when I first got pregnant, my H brother said to my brother (they are good freinds). "well how did that happen?" Evidently my H had told them we weren't sleeping together.

Ok, I hate talking about this. It's making me upset.

I'm sorry that I brought it up and made you feel sad. It's starting to make more sense to me now, but still goes back to what I said yesterday (I may have actually been right about something) about your H needing to grow up and be a man. Enough about this though.

More about the music. How many more songs to record before the album is finished? Did you have a good time last night at the session?

Now I feel bad for opening up a topic that should have been left closed. I'm sorry Soon.

I would like to discuss this with you, but when you are feeling up to it. Today, we can do happy stuff.

Soon, I'm worried about you. Are you ok?

I'm emailing you a couple of video files. I hope they make you laugh. They take a minute to load, so be patient, but they are good.

Well, actually although it made me a little frustrated. it did make me feel a little better to get it off my chest. Becuase it's somthing I can't talk to my H about. And it just infuriates me that they treat my two differently than the others, and that they leave my sweet little baby out of most everything. But it's their loss. And one day my baby will ask why? "Why did brother get to do....but they wouldn't take me?". And he will resent them for this I believe, but it's something that they will have to answer for, not me.

OK, can't make up our minds if we're putting 11 or 12 songs on the cd. I say 11 is enough, if it's getting to the point when we can't find a song that we're really comfortable with putting on the cd, then I feel it would be like we're just throwing a song on there for no particualar reason other than just because we think there should be 12 songs. There's no guideline or anything, so why just throw a song on there. Just keep the 11 that we feel comfortable with.

I had a good time last night, but ended up getting aggravated at one of the members. You'd just have to know him. He's one of those christians (don't get me wrong, I am a christian too) that think if you say a bad word, or dring a beer...then you're going to he!!. I on the other hand, do not drink often, but when I do...I throw down on it. And I don't curse a lot, but I can curse like a sailor with the best of em. I don't think I'm going to ****** for it either. And the banjo player doesn't like to do "fire on the mountain" cause it has the work he!! in it. Which I think is silly. We're all gonna try to go to this festival this year and camp out, and I believe there may be a problem there because when I go to festivals, I like to bring my cooler along...and it aint filled with Kool-aid either. So, we'll see. He's a very weird person, has a very dry sense of humour too. It's a long story with him and his wife. She interferes in our rehearsals, tries to tell us what to do, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket.

So, what's the plans for tonight? Anything special?

Sorry, had a friend come down to visit me. Was out in the shop talking. Going to check email now! Can't wait.

I finally got the files uploaded and sent to you. My yahoo is so slow this morning.

It's good then that you got it off your chest. I got worried that I ruined your day.

11 or 12, what's the big deal. I would say that quality might be more important, but, I'm like that wife, can't play or sing, and have no idea what I'm talking about. That pretty well makes me an expert.

I also am a Christian, but that's taking things a bit too far, don't you think? I mean, "He!l" is in the Bible. I too have a drink occasionally, but I'm not an alcoholic. Really, I can take it or leave it. I usually like a dry sense of humor in people, but please don't try to push your moral values on me.

I don't have any plans for tonight. How about you? We might go and visit my Dad or something. Sam would like that because he gets to go play with the lab. Only problem is that I have to bathe him after we get home, and a basset in the tub isn't much fun.

Hope you like the vids. Let me know, ok?

the copy machine one was funny, I'd like to do something like that. Scare the shat outta people, and video it. But, the redneck women was the funniest. I don't know why, but I have always thought that people falling is the funniest thing to watch. I know that sounds strange.

The picture is great! WOW. That's a good looking son you've got there. He looks like you! And your step son is also a cutie. I bet Zach has the gals chasing him all the time doesn't he? And do not say you are the ugly one, ofcourse I know you were just joking when you said that. But you are a very handsome man! And, though I don't know you, if you put the personality that I've come to know along with that face of yours...any woman would be insane to run away from that. Seriously.

You don't look like an engineeer by the way.

Was that a professional pic? It looks like it is.

It's been almost forty minutes since you last posted. Did I say something to offend you? Well, get over it.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Where are you!

Thanks. Especially the part about not looking like an engineer. I never really fit in with that crowd too much. I remember in college, at an engineering meeting, I ordered a beer, and you would have thought that I shot someone. I could just hear what they were thinking: "We mustn't cloud our minds with alcohol when discussing important matters such as this". I didn't care.

I thought of you falling when I watched Redneck Woman. You did fall in the floor, right?

Zach isn't dating anyone yet, he's not been able to drive yet, but he's on the phone all the time. He'll probably start now that it's his birthday. Thank God I have Sam to chaperon. He is in band and is really good. He made All-State band this year as a 10th grader, so I'm really proud. I'm more proud that he makes all A's in school, and all on his own. He never asks his mother or I for any help.

Spencer, is pretty popular with the girls also. I got so tickled at him last summer, so I've got to tell you this story. Spencer decided he was going to take his girlfriend on a date. He asked his mom to drive them to play minature golf, then to the mall and then to the movie. His mom said fine, but he would have to pay for it. When she picked them up after the movie, she asked if they wanted to go somewhere to eat. Spencer said "no, I've got a headache". When they got home I asked how it went. He said "I only took $50, spent $48.50 and she didn't even eat all of her popcorn". He hasn't been on another date since. It was hilarious.

No, the picture was taken with a Canon Digital Rebel camera on a tripod. I bought my STBX all kinds of cameras, lenses, and equipment because she loves taking pictures. She is pretty good at it.

Got any big plans for the weekend?

Oh, I forgot to say. Spencer is into sports, not band. He's a pretty good athlete, just hasn't hit his growth spurt yet, so all his friends are passing him by. Right now! He is a very soft hearted kid, always takes up for the child who is being picked on. Spencer also makes all A's in school and is very intelligent. I'm very proud of him too.

It feels weird talking about my STB ex-SS, but I gave my heart to him too, and I will never take it back. He didn't want this to happen and was very happy. Darn Aliens.

I loved the "Did I offend you? Get over it" bit. I'm sorry. Had to go get a truck.

Sorry, had to throw a little temper tantrum.

May I vent about something? Here's an example of one of my STBXH silly lies.

Got home last night, H was already in bed. Checked the caller id and there was atleast 15-18 calls from the same number. Darrell Light was the mans name. So, H woke up to say "Hi Hon". I asked him if he knew the guy and what he wanted. He said he didn't know who he was and didn't talk to him. Now, H said he was at home all evening (ofcourse after he "worked late") and that he just didn't want to answer the phone (he does this and i don't know why). So, that was all that was said. But I did ponder on it a few more minutes because after all, the man started calling at around 10AM, and called repeatedly over and over again.

There is a man that lives on our road with the same last name, different first name. I don't know all of my neighbors names. I just knew that Danny is our neighbor, I don't know a Darrell.

This morn we get up, before h leaves for work he comes back in and says "AJ is gone". We breed and raise bluetick hounds. AJ is a $1200 dog. I then asked H if he fed the dogs last night, because if he did feed them, then he would have known then if AJ was gone. He said he did feed them and that he was there then.

Husband just called me here a little while ago and told me that the Darrell Light, was another one of our neighbors, and that AJ had been at his house ALL DAY LONG YESTERDAY. And that he would go find him and take him back down to our house.

Now, I'm glad that AJ was found. But, why did my H lie about feeding the dogs. If he had fed them, then he would have known AJ was gone last night, the man said he was at his house ALL DAY.

I just don't get why he lies about the stupid stuff.

I know Soon. My STBX got to where she would lie about stuff like that. Things that didn't matter or weren't important. Maybe he wasn't home at all, or had company. I couldn't venture to guess.

Blueticks huh? Aren't blueticks used to [censored] hunt?

Well, I didn't actually fall down on the floor. I just kind of fell all over the place. My foot was tangled in the cord, which was tangled in the chair...and all I could do was hop on one foot. I caught myself before I actually hit the floor.

Not only are your boys good looking, they are smart too. What does Zach play? I was in band in high school, but I didn't play anything. I was a majorette. Oh, such a long time ago...thinking back on the good old days when I had no worries or problems. Makes me feel so old.

What sports does Spencer play? He doesn't look like the football type. Basketball maybe? Baseball?

His date, that's funny. Looks like he learned his lesson on that date. And the fact that he said he "had a headache". That poor little girl. Ofcourse, she didn't even eat all the darn popcorn so what was the point in taking her out to eat! Women.

Yeah, H was a big [censored] hunter. He used to hunt all the time, but doesn't do it much these days.