I am so angry right now...we have been in recovery for about a year and a half, OC is 11 months old, and we have contact, XOW is in my opinion a crazy nut, but whatever. Anyway a few weeks ago, I noticed my husbands cell phone calls that were a lot of incoming and outgoing to her, I confronted him about this and said that it bothered me, he said they were arguing over OC and that he promised to cool it, well I just checked is phone records online today and he is at it again, ALOT of calls to and from her at all hours of the day, it is truly making me insane, My imediate reaction is to freak and think he is cheating again, what do I do, please offer some advice?

LA4500

No, you are not overreacting!!! I know I am the same way. I check my husbands cell phone all the time, but still I know he could erase the call before I see them. He should have her call your house if whatever she calls for is truely about the OC. Also ask him to tell you immediately when there is contact from OW. That is what I have done and it helps me hearing if from him instead of stumbling upon it myself through phone records. As long as he is upfront and honest with you, letting you know as soon as she called, then you have less to worry about.

Keep me posted...

I agree with emkaydee.... it is fair and justified under the circumstances. And I would be very concerned myself, they have a history that have a bond, even if it has not gotten to the part of actual sexual activity it can and more likely head that way soon since all the communication is going on the bonding process is beginning too. Putting limits on the situtation is not unfair to him, he realized that when you gave him another chance that he is going to have to work very hard on winning back your trust.

hello la4500,

our oc is probably here just havent had official word yet. i have set boundries with my h. ive even thought about putting it on paper so there is never a misunderstanding. h will not talk to her from his cell phone ever. she is never to have his cell #. at this point he will only talk to her if im in the room with him. she is to call our home phone or my cell. if she calls when im not home he is to tell me at first possible moment. i never want to hear days laster or from someone else that he talked to her. right now if he talks to someone else about her or someone tells him anything concerning her or oc he is to tell me. basicaly i am to be or at least know about everything.
i dont expect it to have to stay like that but i have to be comfortable with what goes on. it will take time for me to feel safe, that i can totally trust him. he understands that and is willing to do it. if not or if any of this happens i will probably leave, i wont live my life worring about ow again.
anyway i dont blame you for getting upset, i would be also. i see no reason, thankfully either does h at this point for them to talk that often. good luck to you, i hope everything goes well for you.
just to say i might be hard, but ive gone through more then any woman should in 14 years of marrige, but this is it. i wont go through more, i told him one little minor thing and im gone.he doesnt want to lose me again , we both have learned some hard lessons and i believe that he loves me and wont make the mistake again.

anyway keep us updated, and take care of yourself, imtswfe

good job with the rules imtswife