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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 32
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 32 |
Is it possible for the resentment that my BS feels towards me to fade with time? I know he has resentment towards me, I have it towards myself as well. But is it possible for the resentment he had towards me to fade and maybe eventually go away over time?
Me (FWS) - 22
Him (BS) - 22
Married a little over a year
A started in June 2005
DD1 - 8/18/05 EA/PA discovered & WW confronted
DD2 - 9/08/05 Contact since DD1 discovered.
DD3 - 3/25/06 The truth finally comes out
NC since 9/13/05
Devoted to my loving H, he is my rock and I love him more than anything.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
Ask yourself if the roles were reversed, how would you answer this question?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823 |
Well, I am a BS, and I'd say "Yes" it's entirely possible for a BS to get over the resentment.
I have personally forgiven my husband, not because he was particularly deserving, but because I needed to for me. I don't think I'm particularly deserving of God's forgiveness, and yet I still get it.
I think there are a lot of things that a WS has to "earn", but I don't believe forgiveness is something that you earn.
While it is impossible to forgive someone who still has the knife in your back, it is completely possible to forgive them once the knife is withdrawn.
Forgiveness for the OW in my case is a little harder for me, it's definitely a work in progress. I pray that God lets me let that go, I have forgiven her for the most part, but resentment for her still lingers.....I am imperfect, but I strive for goodness.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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