Good morning. How is everyone? And how was everyone's weekend. Mine was horrible. Well, it wasn't that bad. Turned out to be pretty good I guess, but it started out horrible.

I seen the post from you know who about deleting. How do I delete the dang thing?

Tired, how was your steak dinner? Did the weather turn out ok for you guys? BTW, did Sam get a steak too?

Good Morning Soon.

I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth last Friday. I lost internet connection for a while, and when I finally posted, you were already gone.

How was your weekend? I hope everything went well. I had a good weekend. Zach had a good birthday.

Thankful, please check in with us today or Soon and I will be on your case.

Soon, someone is requesting that we delete our posts under the "Private Investigators" thread by Jac07, last week. I deleted mine yesterday, so you might want to look at it.

How do I delete them? You're dealing with a dummy here!

Just go to that thread, click on your post, then click on the edit button. A new window will appear, and at the bottom a "delete" button will show. Hit that, and then a confirmation button. You will have to do each post separately.

You're not a dummy. I went through the same thing yesterday.

The steaks were good. Sam didn't get a whole steak, just little pieces and bones. He was in heaven. The weather was nice, a little cool, but overall very nice.

What did you do over the weekend? Have you heard from your oldest?

OK, well that's done. Now I'm worried about her. Something must have happened.

Well, here's what happened Friday. I got home around 7PM, H came out to car to help me get the boys in the house. I asked him what time he was taking the oldest down to his parents house. He said "yeah, I need to talk to you about that". So, after trying to avoid the conversation when we got in the house (trying to ask how my day was, telling me aobut his day) I seen in the closet where he had laid some clothes out. He then informs me that he's going with them to Disney. I didn't care that he was going, but once again he lied. Do you know what he told me? He told me that they told him at the office on Friday that he HAD to use his vacation days this week. Or he would lose them. I'm so tired of the fog and the lies, this whole mess. So, we got into a big argument. It wasn't pretty. I'm over it now. Oh yeah, he also told me that he was driving down himself and that he would be back on Wed., I told him to just stay the whole week. But he says, "No, I"m going to drive so that I can come home early".

Another lie, he didn't drive. Why all the lies? I just don't get it. He has called me a couple times and I have called him also to talk to the oldest. He is very hateful to me, short...I guess he isn't allowed to talk nice to me in front of his parents. It's so childish.

But, I'm ok now. Kind of glad he is gone actually. It's a good chance for me to get some stuff packed up since he's not here. And me and the baby have had a good time. I've played me heart out...chased, hid, tickled...shoot, I'll need a vacation by the time STBX gets back!

How was your weekend? I hope you three guys had a wonderful time and that the weather wasn't too bad.

It looks like everyone has deserted us. I hope thankful is doing ok. I seen where hopefulcis had posted over the weekend, upset that her H texted her a happy birthday message, and it wasn't her birthday.

The youngin, I THINK, is having a good time. H said that he coudn't walk more than two feet away from him. I'm glad, Disney is a great big ol place. It sounded as though that was aggravating to H though. And I'm sure it is aggravating him. That's the way he is. He wants to go and do things with him, but when there, he doesn't want to deal with the parenting thing. Make sense?

Saturday I was quite lazy. Did a little cleaning, very little. Went to Walmart to pick up some pictures.

Yesterday I had all intentions of going to church. But it didn't work out that way. Me and the baby just laid in bed till he couldn't take it anymore and finally crawled off of the bed. Cleaned a little more. Very little. Then we got ready and went to my parents house and had some homemade stew and cornbread. The me, mom and the baby made yet another trip to Walmart. My mom is going to Branson today and she had some stuff to pick up, so we tagged along with her. It was fun.

I miss my boy so much. And the baby misses him too. You can tell, he keeps going to his bedroom and looking in there. It's kind of pitiful. He'll be back Saturday though. I can't wait.

I think, if the weather warms up any I may take the boys on a little trip myself. I, being stupid, was thinking that I should wait to take the boys on a trip until after the D was final. But, since H has decided to it...then why can't I?

You doing ok today Tired? I hope so. Did you think of me when you was chomping down on that steak?

Once again, I'm sorry Soon. I know the hel! that you are going through. You will feel much better when you are no longer living with him. You will feel better, he won't! I can't feel sorry for him, or my STBX, because this is their choice. I don't know why they lie. I guess the mothership is sending messages saying "Lie at all costs, even about stupid stuff".

Glad you got to play with your baby. Sounds like fun. I know the packing sucked, but it will get better for you. I know it will.

We had a good time, although Zach was really busy trying to do some report for school. Brought a lump in my throat when he drove off Sunday to go home. That's the first time he has drove away by himself.

How sad. I can imagine you standing there at the door watching him drive away. I have a while before I have to worry about that. And I'm so glad.

Did you say Zach was a junior or senior? I think you said he was a junior. I have slept since then though. Does he have plans for college?

I get to leave early today! I have another dr. appt at 3:30, not looking forward to it. I hate goint to the dr. You have to sit there for 30 min before you even get to go in, and then when they finally call you, you have to sit there another 30 min before you even see the dr. I hate that.

It was sad, but it made me proud at the same time. All and all a good feeling. Zach is a sophmore this year. He really hasn't decided much about college. He is taking some really hard classes and is making A's in them, so maybe he can get some scholarships, either for academics or band.

I don't want you to leave early today. It gets lonely on here when you go. Sorry, just a bit selfish this morning. Did you do anything musical this weekend? I sing to Sam all the time when he and I are alone. He doesn't say anything, but he does get this sarcastic look on his face, and sometimes he licks himself. I guess he figures that if I'm going to make a fool out of myself, so should he.

Good Morning!

I feel pretty good. I got some much needed rest this weekend. I don't think I drank any alcohol so I think that helps me feel better. I'm not a big drinker but when I have a couple glasses of wine a few days in a row - I feel kind draggy.

You all sound pretty up. Let's keep up that momentum. Do any of you worry about money? I've always worried about money - and it makes me feel very uneasy. I love my job, but it will never pay me what I really need to not have to worry about money. When I was living with H he paid most of hte bills - my money paid for my personal needs.

I emailed H this AM. Asked him to check in on some practical matters. Tillie, our French Bulldog is having dental surgery and there are some details that need to be worked out. I love her so much, she's been a great source of comfort to me. Bulldogs don't do anesthesia well and so I'm worried. I had a male French Bulldog who came back from surgery and was never the same. I believed that either his neck got injured when they intubated him, or that the was a problem and he didn't get enough oxegyn. Anyway it was a matter of months until we had to put him down - it was a big trauma. I try not to dwell on it - but it helps me remember why I was so desperate that I would fall victim to a man who did not have my best interests in mind when he came between me and my husband.

On the day that we had the vet come and put the dog down, my H started drinking very early in the day. By the time the vet came, H was in a very deep sleep, was completely unavailablle to me as a friend and comfort. This was our baby, and he was impaired and unable to offer any support or comfort to me. I know I should let it go, but I remain very resentful.

When I begged him to forgive me, I reminded him that I had forgiven him of some of the terrible mistakes he made during our marriage. I'm afraid he is so arrogant that he really believes that the mistakes he made (and there were quite a few - and I'm sure many I'm not even aware of) are inconsequential.

It's so maddening. I think what I'm dealing with is high level arrogance.. of course I still hate myself for the choices I made.

So dear friends..have a good day. I'll check in later when I'm at work.

In addition to yoga and walking, I want to add doing 32 grande plies to my AM routine....so I better get going.

Cis

Soon, WHERE ARE YOU??????????

Sorry, guess I had a moment there. I though of you when I tied into the steak. It was good, but I've done better. I really wish you could taste the pork tenderloin that I smoke sometimes. It is to die for.

We need to visit up good today, because I will be on the road all day tomorrow.

Your mom is going to Branson huh? That's cool. I live about 3 hours from there. My family goes all the time.

Heck, I don't want to leave early either! After I get done with my business today, I'll just have to go home and clean...and pack. Id much rather be here. A lot less work to do here!

I thought I was going to have an attack on Friday night. When I think about it now I laugh, but I remember after STBXH told me he was going to FL too, I was standing in the kitchen sobbing and snotting everywhere and all I wanted to do is find a computer so I could get on here and vent. I was thinking, "I need Tired, where's tired, why is he never around when I'm in these moods!!!!" OK, I wasn't really THAT bad. Maybe I'm exaggerating just a little.

OK, so I was wrong about what year Zach is in school. He has a little longer than I thought aobut making plans for college. Which is a good thing! Does he talk about going to college, what his plans are for the future?

I didn't do anything musical this weekend. I danced with the baby and sang to him. Does that count? Hmmm, so when you sing to Sam he starts licking himself? Good times. I think. If I'm ever singing at a show and people start licking themselves, that may be the point for me to give it up. I laughed when I read your post!

H just called here to give me phone number to their motel room. He was talking fine, then I heard the door open and his mother walk in the room, he then got quiet. He wouldn't say anything, so I just said I had to go. He could call back later and if he didn't get in touch with me then to call me before the little one went to bed so I could say goodnight. He acted like that made him mad. Oh well. I'm tired of being weak and begging him. No more. That's what he wants and I'm not doing it anymore.

I hate cleaning house. It's more fun with the music turned way up and somebody to help you.

Sobbing and snotting? There's a visual to remember. Tired was online checking to see if anyone was having an emergency. Notice now that I'm refering to Tired in third person. He's taking on a life of his own.

Zach does plan on going to college. I think that his mother and I have both drummed that into him. He loves chemistry and biology, and has mentioned being a doctor at times. I don't know, he's pretty quite and don't mention it too often.

Dancing and singing with the baby definately counts. You're probably right to stop singing if your audience starts licking themselves. You are either doing really good or you stink. I know what category I fit into, and so does Sam.

Seems your H is torn between you and his family. I think he wants you, but he is afraid of losing face with his family. It gets back to the part about growing up and being a man. Your wife and kids are what matters most in this world. You have to let your mom and dad go. Everyone wants to have a good relationship with parents, but that is a luxury, and taking care of wife/kids is a responsibility. I don't blame you. Don't be weak anymore. Be tough.

Hey there cis! Good to hear from you! Glad to see that you are doing OK. I read your post from over the weekend, sorry about that.

I worry about money a lot. I love my job but I worry that the money I make will be enough to support me and my two boys. I plan on getting back in school as soon as I can get settled down. I should've finished a long time ago. But didn't have my head on straight.

Tired and I are trying to talk about good things instead of depressing things. They get brought up once in a while, and then we start talking about the positive things again.
So feel free to join in with us anytime you like.

Yoga huh? I can't do that stuff. And I look funny while doing it too. I'm too silly to do that stuff and take it seriously. I bought a yoga DVD one time and tried it out at home. I couldn't do anything but laugh the whole time.

WAIT A MINUTE!!! You can't go anywhere tomorrow! What will I do. Oh God, I'm starting an anxiety attack. Breathe....count to ten.

Well my day tomorrow will be shot all to he!!. How dare you do that to me! It's just not fair.

I've got another headache this morn. I don't know what's causing all these headaches. I think it's from grinding my teeth at night. I've had problems before with TMJ. Got elbowed in the jaw in a basketball game in school and had to have my jaw put back into place. I've had problems ever since then, but grinding my teeth just makes it worse. I guess it's just a habit or something.

Do you have any idea why that someone was asking us to delete our posts? I seen where she had posted asking for help, but ut got deleted and I didn't get to read it. Someone had responded to her saying something about her posts being held against her in court. Any idea?

The only thing I saw was that she was changing her name and she would explain later. Sounded like someone is monitoring her thread. I hope it turns out ok for her.

My STBX had TMJ. She would work her jaws at night, and had some headaches because of it.

I've got to go visit a dairy farm tomorrow. It's a couple hours drive from here, almost to Branson. I will miss posting, but we'll catch up on Wednesday.