Here is the reader's digest verson of my story......I have been living with my BF for 6 years we have been together for 7 1/2 years.....he had a very quick A with a follow co-worker......I found out about 1 week into the A and made him leave the house......he continued to see her when she was available as she was married......over the next month they met about 10 times.....she spent 3 night with him at his apartment he says it wasn't sexual....meaning they never had intercourse.....he has since left his job and we are in joint therapy.....he enjoys going and feels it is working.....the therapist has told him he has low self esteem and needs to work on that? When she asked him to name 5 things about me that bother him he couldn't come up with anything as she pressed him he said I was always very good to him very supportive, fun etc.......he is my "problem" I'm having so real trust issues....he was emailing and text messaging this OW for about month prior to any meeting outside of work......when he leaves the house I'm in a panic.....he once told me the OW was very pretty....then it was that she wasn't very pretty but she wasn't ugly......not sure what the means......I am also having problems putting the A behind me......is it normal to be so anxious about the future I don't want to be hurt again but I don't want to treat him like a child......is it also normal to have days where you just keep thinking about the A....I should mention that i asked him to move out of the house on January 8th.....he continued to see her through February 21st.....somedays I feel like I'm out of my mind......Thanks!!!

All of these thoughts and emotions are "normal". It takes a long time to rebuild trust and in the meantime you may often feel like you're going out of your mind with anxious thoughts. My advice is to go by his actions, how he treats you, whether or not he lives up to his promises (but not your unspoken expectations -- that is a recipe for disaster!). If you feel in your gut that something is really wrong, confront him about it, but understand that you may not get the answers that you want or need.

Give it some time. It may take months before you can accurately assess whether or not you have something worth saving. Until then, just be the best partner and fulfilled human being that you can. That way no matter what happens, you will be strong and prepared for the future.

Good luck.

***I have been living with my BF for 6 years we have been together for 7 1/2 years.....***

sadtimes, read the above sentence again. This is not a man who is interested in marrying you - therefore, he is not interested in a committed relationship.

***he had a very quick A with a follow co-worker......***

I would bet your house this is not the first time.

Look at it this way: You are young, single and have no children with this guy. He has already shown you that he's not interested in marriage and will happily sleep with another woman if one is available -- and if you believe he spent three nights at her place and they never had sex, I've got some nice swampland in Florida to sell you.

This guy is not looking for a committed relationship. He has endangered your emotional and physical health by sleeping around. Can you honestly explain why you still want him?
Mulan

Mulan, Thanks for the reply.....first it was me who didn't want to get married he asked me on several occassion...I have been married once before and have a child who is 8 years old......I also felt that it was not his first time and questioned him on that he said it was....the only reason why I believe him was because I always knew where he was he went to work and came home never went out with friends largely due to the fact that he doesn't have any.....I figured out very quickly that something wasn't right because his behavior all of a sudden changed....to be honest i don't know what to believe or what not to believe any more....sometimes I think I'd be better off with out him.....sometimes I'm not so sure......I do not depend on him financially so that is a very good thing....financial independence is a wonderful thing....he on the other hand doesn't have a very good job or any job right now as he quit to prove to me he was serious it was over with her......My head is spinning and I'm not sure what end it up right now.....maybe I just need to step back for a little while until I can figure things out......