I have a problem with having desire for SF with husband. I have none for him. I tried looking for new lingerie (used to work) and looking at the body oils that are out now. I look at those things and think mmhh nothing. I have given to SF when I could talk myself into or when he complains that it's been too long. I used to be a very sexual being, but there is no flame at all and I have honestly tried.

We had a nooner last week, told me how beautiful I was and climaxed. We got into an argument over the weekend and was told that if he could find someone to bang his brains out he would and right in front of me. I said fine and that I would help find someone for him.

When we are together it feels like you're visiting your Uncle Bill's house. Even the affection (kissing/holding hands/cuddling feels the same. Has others felt like this?

Here's an update of what's happening. Husband set up counseling with Jennifer and I have spoken to her about 3 sessions and have done the exercises. We did EN again and that went well. The session was going alright, the last few minutes of our discussion, I was left feeling like she was listening to me but not hearing me. She told what the homework was and then I had to go to work. I'm feeling more depressed than ever. I have appts with a counselor next week.

During argument this weekend, husband told me again that if I leave, he will charge me with abandonment and will never see the kids. He told me I needed commit to the marriage/kids and do it soon because he wasn't going to wait much longer especially if his job moves him back to Florida. He also said that I need to not mention divorce or allude to it. I told him that I had not mentioned that or alluded to that, I have been very conscious of that. I told him that I could say that divorce is out of the question and asked did he want me to lie to him? I'm here doing what I can. He told me that I needed to have a letter notorized stating that I wanted a vehicle and few other items because he wasn't going to lose half to me. I reminded him of what I told him months ago. My vehicle, few household items and half custody of kids, that didn't go over well.

Our kids went to his counselor yesterday to talk with him and that went well for all parties. The kids opened up and talked with counselor and he spoke with us about the kids. The counselor felt that the kids are very adult kids and that they are dealing well with the situation and that was a credit to us both. He told us a few things about out son needing time us and to be aware of that because he knew that we have to spend time alone also. Husband and I talked about what the counselor had said and I told him that I felt good about the session going well and I had told him the same things that the counselor said about our kids. I knew that he had to hear from someone else that he likes/respects. The counselor didn't feel that the kids needed any on going counseling, but would be available if needed.

Sorry so long and rambling, but needed get this out and maybe some answers.

Have a great day.

bump

Hi, Mrs. Eagle. The desire thing, I do understand. WHen your relationship isn't good, sometimes sex seems like a chore. Sometimes, however, it can be hormonal. Have you seen an endocrinologist (sp?) to check your hormone levels?

If it's hormonal, there is a way to make it better. Please, see a Dr. It could be a simple matter of using something from a compounding pharmacy. THe longer your H goes without feeling wanted, the colder your marriage will become.

My marriage failed. I neglected the SF, and there were other issues, too long to go into here. I just wanted to respond to you.

Hi I do not come here very often anymore. My H and I are back together and it is great. Now with Jennifer do you think she is really not hearing you?? I think she does hear you but maybe she is not so ask her OK?
With the SF issue - sounds to me like your H is very frustrated and misses you very much in that area. He tells you you are beautiful -say think you at least. You see I was the BS and not hearing those things nearly killed me. I was near to having an A myself just out of loneliness. Let me explain something you are in withdrawal I know. You did this to save your M for yourself and your family. That is great. But it does not stop there you have alot of work to do. You must make yourself try harder -soon it will come easier. Do something fun together. Come up with an idea of something you would enjoy doing. Just you and your H OK. If it does not go well then try again. These LB's must stop. If you find yourself getting angry take a break. Say not now we will talk later when I feel better. Go do something else.

It is great news the children are doing so well and shows what good parents you both are. You must be good people and good parents. It is also great you are going to IC. I hope it helps you and gives you the tools you need to get back with your H.
Do you remember the times when you both were so in love?
You can get taht back but it takes aolt of work. I will leave you to more experienced people here -just thought I would say a thing or two. Hope I did not offend you.