I had a discussion with my fiancee the other day about what we wanted in the future (house wise). I have always felt that while I would love to live in a "mansion" someday that it would probably not be worth the sacrifices I would have to make (such as getting that job that worked me 60hrs a week - where I wouldn't have any free time or do much with my families). Now, our current house is a nice 1300sq ft 3br house in a great neighborhood and I make decent money as it is ($45k/yr) but what ultimately came out of this conversation is that she expects to have nothing less then the half million dollar house and that she would be unhappy in life if that goal wasn't met. Like I said previous, I would rather live in a sustainable home and have all my weekends & holidays to spend with my familiy then have an extravagant home. She said that our "compromise" would be that I would work harder to find a job that pays more and she could settle for a home in the very minimum 1/4 million dollar range but would have to move again in the future to the more grand house. One of my friends quoted that if she is so used to sailing in her parents yacht and demands the same of you then you should jump ship. I guess my question is whether people think this is a reasonable compromise? Is asking your husband to work harder to get a mansion style home reasonable or is she too focused on tangibles rather then love/comfort?

Posteritas,

There is an old cliche about "looking deep before you leap." I would think long and hard about this one if I were you. It sounds as though you and your fiancee have really divergent values and goals for your lives. The thing is, marriage is difficult enough when two people want similar things out of life.

Personally, I do think it is unreasonable to expect a husband to work longer and harder for anything less than an absolute necessity. And an extravagant home is not a necessity - it's a luxury. If you were asking her to spend the rest of her life with you in a tent, that would be one thing. But you're not - you have a decent home in a good neighborhood already. She should be concerned about your happiness also. What is she willing to contribute to help make this "dream" a reality? How many hours a week is she willing to work in order to have a half million dollar home?

Bottomline is - an extravagent home is meaningless if BOTH of the occupants are not happy.