Well, I don't know what to think. I and my kids are currently in plan b, plan b letter sent mid January and I have not spoken to him since then- my only contact is through attorneys or the occassional email about the house sale.

Today, STBXH left a message while I was out saying he had signed the forms for the house sale and perhaps we should get together to sort out dividing the house contents.

Considering he is living with OW and it is highly unlikely she would want any of my furniture what could he be up to, I am at a loss.

Anyway I will not contact him and have sent a letter through the attorney to ask him for a list of things he wants from the house (have not got a clue what they could be as I gave him all personel effects when he first left)- I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Do other WH's telephone out of the blue after so long?

Maybe he's just seen a TV commercial from the phone company

reach out and touch someone

YOU are very wise to NOT respond ... and you are very wise to question his motive.

Sounds fishy to me.

Thanks, I definately think somethings amiss but am not sure what.

Miffy1

After reading the Plan B letter

I think ~some~ WS' are saying to themselves ~~~ "Whoopee ... I have freedom to do whatever I want now without interference"

.... but then

after awhile ... that freedom to fall completely on one's face in the mud ... starts to look just like the muck it is ...

Most infidels miss at least ~something~ about "home"

even if it's just the furniture

stay strong

YOU drive this Plan B

WH has lost control over "home" .... oops .... he did not figure on that!

You can always do what the wife did in the movie "Waiting To Exhail" ... she sold everything for $1 at a garage sale ... and gave her WH the profits!

LOL ... Have you ever watched that movie? You might want to look at it. There are several adultery situations ... but NONE of them turn out "as planned" for the adulterous couples.

LOL

Go have fun and try not to worry.

Hi Pepperband,

I'm sure my STBXH feels he has lost control of the home, I am driving this house sale and am looking forward to setting up my own home without the memories I have here.

Think selling the furniture at a garage sale is an excellent idea, I'm sure WH and OW will love that.

I think I'll try and rent the movie, it sounds fun.

Miffy1

OK

but I spelled it wrong

Waiting To Exhale

sheesh!

Update today- STBXH text messaged the kids and tagged on the end that they could now call him if they wanted too.

Kids are also in plan B and have emailed to tell him that they will have no contact whilst he is in a relationship with OW and they have been true to that.

Can this actually mean that the affair is over without him telling us directly or am I reading things that aren't there?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Miffy1

You are reading things that are not there....

Hi, pepperband,

I know you are right but deep inside there is always a little hope even though I am getting closer and closer to never wanting him back.

Guess I dont want him to be happy with OW.

Miffy1

happy people
do not have affairs

affairs don't make people happy
ever

eventually

we have to make peace with ourselves

and if we go down a path we do not respect

happiness remains ellusive

soul sickness is not very pretty

what fun thing are you planning for this weekend???

tell me

and it better be good !

miffy,

Quote:Think selling the furniture at a garage sale is an excellent idea, I'm sure WH and OW will love that

Just a warning, don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Take a realistic look at the furniture , think about the cost of replacement v the memories it may have. It sounds as if you and your children will have much greater financial needs than your WH.

Humor is invaluable when dealing with life's tragedies. Just don't laugh yourself into a costly, spur of the moment decision.

Best of luck to you and your family

Pepperband,

In the last few weeks I have started to feel normal again, the severe physical pain from d-day is a distant memory.

I no longer cry myself to sleep and have a kind of inner peace.

I know I can go on and be happy without my STBXH and if, eventually, I find a new partner I know I can make a good relationship.

It will be my 28th wedding anniversary on saturday, I guess the last one married to my WH- I feel a little sad for the great life we could have had and still sometimes long for it.

I suppose him phoning me the other day has set me off thinking again.

Cymanca,

thanks for your reply- dont worry I will be ok financially when the settlement is finalised- I was very level headed initially and sought out an attorney immediately, OW may have my WH but she was not going to get my life.

Pepperband,

The family and I live in the UK and we are all going down to London on Saturday to take in a west end show and have a lovely meal in a top restaurant.

I was determined not to sit and dwell on the past but try to make new memories.

Miffy1

ex cell ent !!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

can I tag along ????

If you can get a flight over here

Hi, all

I have been speaking to STBXH's best friend and his wife today- it seems that they have recently seen WH and OW out and about together.

I have found out that OW is a lot fatter, less attractive and looks older than me even though she is much younger. WH went on a guy's night out with said best friend and some others a couple of weeks ago and who should he turn up with but OW.

None of us wives ever went on their nights out and she was the only woman there. Apparently she is sporting a large diamond engagement ring and continually holds onto WH's arm.

OW had been asking WH's bf if he thought that WH would ever leave her as he had left his wife and kids for her- he said she appeared very insecure.

WH is apparently now wearing clothes that a 20 year old would wear and I was told he looks like an idiot.

How after 30 years with the same woman can you leave and immediately move on so easily with someone else- I feel very hurt today and am sitting here crying. I thought I was moving on so well.

Miffy1

an insecure women attracts a man by being needy

later

neediness does not look so good

it feels clingy

it's starting already

OW is not a happy confident woman

insecurity is not attractive

want to stir the pot?

call your husband on your anniversary

if you think you can do it without crying

tell him you are thinking about him and remembering all the good times the family had....

don't mention the affair

just tweak him that you are a good woman that he has a long history with

make the call short and to the point and don't love bust or have R talk

"I decided to raise a glass today, our anniversary, and toast the wonderful life we had together ... I think it was a damn good life. I sure will miss it. Well, someone's at the door, got to run. Take care."

Hi Pep,

By all accounts OW comes across as being very confident.
She is talking to STBXH's friends and family as though she has known them for years.

She must be very sure of being able to convince people she is nice. They were seen together in the grocery store where I shop and there was a good possibility I could be there. They live together miles away but WH was visiting his doctor as he has been suffering from migraines recently- he has not had one of these for many years.

Not sure how he expects the kids or I to react if we see them together but they cannot be bothered by the thought.