Could you help me with this one...
I promised her I would not put pressure on her...would not talk about it. She said the more I pushed the further it drove her from me. I would like to tell her I love her and that I have been wrong and selfish. And that I am going to fix me. Will this invade the space she needs? Will this push her further away? what can I do now that it has gotten this far.

CL~
Here are my thoughts.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting her know you love her... You should let her know you love her.
Don't pressure her with it by saying "I love you" in the form and a question where she feels pressured to respond.

If you look at her and say I love you. She will take that as pressure to reply back I love you too. Don't say it that way.

Don't beat her with it either. In other words don't keep saying it over and over. It will sound clingy.

Say something like;
You and your feelings mean more to me than anything in the world. Because I believe we can have a great marriage, I am learning how to make improvements with myself so I won't hurt you any more.
Anything less than than ulitmate happiness for us is unexceptable.

This is a way to show your love for her with out just saying the three words. This will not pressure her and you are letting her know you believe in the marriage and you are offering her a better life.

Keep in mind if you write this in a letter or message to her, you can sign it. "Your loving husband". That is also a nice way of saying I love you with out the pressure of a response.

Obviously she loves you but she may not be ready to say it because it is buried under either hurt or fog.

If you want her to reply the three words back, forget about it. Don't push for that.

BTW~
It is much easier for people to help you when you post to ONE THREAD. Popping around and starting a new thread each day makes it hard for people to keep up with your story.