Try say.....

BS: Is that the best u can do?

BS: Which one r u today, the Ws or my spouse?

BS: Really?

BS: Would you believe it if you were told what you just babbled to me?

BS: R U buying this? (as in buying into the babble line from the WS).

BS: Let me know when you find my (spouse)....not the WS, my spouse. Need to tell 'em something important that may not be good for the WS to hear. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ok, that's just some of the RB lines I have used. What works for u? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

WH: She's just a pour young girl and I felt I needed to support her, she's just a friend and I more like a father to her, that's why we message and mail all the time.

WH: I left home at 1am, to meet her at a bar because I was curious to know what were her problems with her current BF.

WH: I dont know anything about women thinking, how can I know why she send me 6 messages during the night when in Thailand with a boyfriend?

All that refering to OW n.2 - she's 26


WH: I just kept mailing them because I was afraid they would contact you and tell you what happened. (2 of them from other countries with no chance of contacting me)

WH: I had to keep EAs with them because I didn't want to feel like the bad who only had a ONS with them. And I just wanted to forget about what happened because I was feeling so guilty, continuing the contact would fade the SA.

WH: Well, all journalist are cheaters or divorced.

WH: How can you tell me I wasn't honest? I am, I am still a good person. Besides almost everybody cheat nowadays.

WH: I did it because we had our kids too young. (a proud and loving father for 8 years)


I wish I had known how to reverse babble all this crap.

Lost Willow,

I'm not Orchid and I don't have even half her wisdom, but I will try to reverse babble back some of these things. (I need to practice because I have to deal w/ my XWH again for some legal issues and he is still about 90% fogged out even though the A ended long ago.)

By the way, everyone says it, and it's hard to believe, but you will be ok and better off than your WS if he doesn't change his path. It is so, so hard when all this is fresh and raw, but you will make it through. Focus ahead on having a great life, regardless of what happens, and just take one step forward everyday. The MB stuff helped me tremendously and I also received daily emails from divorce care. I can tell you, in all honesty, that my XWH, although still fogged, is miserable because of his choices and says he still he regrets it all & still loves me, whereas I have peace in my heart because I did the right thing. (The problem with us getting back together is that he still has a WS mentality, a drinking problem, and now he's been diagnosed with a mental illness, but that another story.)

So, be good to yourself and remember that this will pass one day if you just do the right thing one day at a time.

Here's my attempts...
----------
WH: She's just a pour young girl and I felt I needed to support her, she's just a friend and I more like a father to her, that's why we message and mail all the time.
You: Is that the best excuse you can come up with? {credit to Orchid}
--------------
WH: I left home at 1am, to meet her at a bar because I was curious to know what were her problems with her current BF.
You: OK, you should repeat what Orchid said above, but your WS is making me angry! Especially since you two have children. What I would like to say to him on your behalf is (first, I'd laugh a little, then say:) "OW may not be smart enough to call you on your b.s., but your Wife is -- take a moment to find your brain and your bxxxs and tell the truth." (not MB, but just had to vent a little)
---------------

WH: I dont know anything about women thinking, how can I know why she send me 6 messages during the night when in Thailand with a boyfriend?
You: Hmm, maybe her boyfriend knows then -- let's ask him. (Only do this if you have already exposed to the boyfriend and re-exposed and contact since exposure. Otherwise, you are warning him.) If you haven't exposed, then say.... Well, there is not good or decent reason for her to do such a thing.
------------
WH: I had to keep EAs with them because I didn't want to feel like the bad who only had a ONS with them. And I just wanted to forget about what happened because I was feeling so guilty, continuing the contact would fade the SA.
You: Well, that's interesting, you make things worse in the hopes that somehow you would feel better about it. That type of thinking is not only illogical, it makes me concerned for you.
-------------

WH: Well, all journalist are cheaters or divorced.
You: No, only the bad ones.
-----------------
WH: How can you tell me I wasn't honest? I am, I am still a good person. Besides almost everybody cheat nowadays.
You: Yes, you were a good and honest person, but I'm not sure what happened to the real you. I miss the real you -- you weren't like everyone else -- you were good, honest, kind & kept your promises -- that's why I married you.
-----------------------
WH: I did it because we had our kids too young. (a proud and loving father for 8 years)
You: (OK, once again this makes my blood boil, so I'm probably not doing a very good reverse babble on any of these. I'd like to say....) WS, for you to blame our beautiful children for your deceitful and dishonorable actions is a new low and something that the real you would have never done. I'd like to talk to the real you, not the person you've been lately.
-------------

ok - I know that those are not as good as Orchid, but I'm trying to give you a little support & encouragement. Read the post about fear -- I soooo wish I had read that on D-Day and kept reading it every day until it sunk in to my head. Say to yourself every day that you deserve to be treated with love & respect & you will not tolerate anything less -- even (and especially) from your husband. Say it even if you dont' feel it. When faced with blame or disrespect, calmly reject it or put in back on your WS.

Hope things get better for you.

Nts,

I think your responses are good! RB isn't about who is an exper, it's about how to give back the guilt.

Good job and thanks for your help. I will give my 2 cents later, after work and baking sometime this evening.

aloha,
L.

Thank you NTS and Orchid for your post and link <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I know some of this will come back when we will talk one of this days.
I think I now understand the reverse babble much better.


I forgot this ones...

When I was suspicious 2 years ago and he kept denying it till I "kind" of believe him.

WH: I love you very much and we have such a great sexual life. I don't need or wish to be with any other women. But I think we need to develop our sexual life into another level. We should try an open marriage. Not right now, later, with time, we can start with a trheesome or something. Can you imagine the level of trust we would have if one could come home and tell the other about a ONS or something. That's the real goal the top level achievement of trust between a couple.

WH: Well, due to my job it is very possible that something will eventually happen some time. What would that matter and how could it affect us if your the one I love and come home to every night?

I was a fool I know that now.