As far as letting the kids know, I hope someone else will chime in with some advice. I don't have any kids, so feel a little unequipped to advise.

I do realize its hard to take your mind off of the sitch. If it is really a problem, you may want to see a Dr. about some AD's for a while. If you don't think that is neccessary, okay.

What helps me is to focus on improving myself. Like I said, get a plan together and don't worry about anything but executing your plan. Just like a workout routine. Develop one and get after it. I would recomend SH's council on this.

Remember, you can't control your WW. Just yourself.

Hey rprynne, Thanks for all the advise it has really helped. I have emailed the counseling center on this site to set up a session. I obviously need someone to help me with a plan to work this out.
I have conitunued working out every day as I normally do. Even in the gym I am not giving it my all like normal. I may need to switch gyms since my WW is usually upstairs doing cardio at the same time.

Well the saga continues. WW came home tonight and told me it was time to end our M that she didn't love me and sees no chance of ever loving me again. We had a discussion about her weekend and how she didn't reflect on the relationship but went partying instead. I placed a recorder (voice activated) near her side of the bed and after the discussion she went to our room and phoned her girlfriend. She told her she was having withdrawals from having so much fun and laughing over the weekend. She said she was over me and I just wouldn't accept it. She stated that someone and I believe it was her girlfriends 2nd husband had touched and pressed her nipples when they were hard. I couldn't quite make that out but I did make out the part where she said he touched her nipples when they were hard. I just couldn't tell who. When she was hanging up the phone she told her girlfriend "tell him I said Hi and I will talk to him later."
So I guess my conclusion to this is that she is still seeing the OM or a new one. Her girlfriend facilitated calls before whenever I first caught on to the A so I assume she is relaying messages to him or a different one again.
I have an appointment with JH tomorrow night and hopefully she can give some sound advice.
I once again before I listened to the tape took my WW hand and told her hwo much I loved her and how sorry I was for having my A 4 years ago. She stills says she does not want to try to work out the marriage and I am personally ready to give up.

Also during our discussion before I recorded the conversation she said she would go to the counselor again but it wouldn't do any good. She also went to a different one alone today. She was supposed to schedule with a Psychiatrist but when I saw his card he was an LCP also. He told her she wasn't depressed and had a right to feel the way she doeas about me but that's what she claims he said. I doubt he would say something like that.

It does sound like her A continues. Don't worry about what she says to you. Its WS babble. You can read up on that on this site.

JH can help you with a plan.

Now that you know the A continues, you need to do a plan A with exposure. Have you thought about who might have influence with your WW.

Don't give up. When you get your plan together, just set a timeline for it. Committ to following that time line.

BTW - Their are some IC's that are not that familiar with A's, so it is possible your WW got that kind of advice.

Yea I keep telling myself it is not really her talking the babble and that she just has an addiction right now.
I am looking forward to JH's plan.
At this time if the OM isn't the original person I can't tell. I am hoping she will let it slip in some of the monitoring I am doing.
The IC she used had family and marrital counseling on his card. I now believe he didn't tell her the things she said. I spoke with our MC we go to together and she stated that she found it hard to believe he would tell her that and give her a diagnosis within 15 minutes.

I had my session with JH last night but before I had it my WW tried to catch me speaking wth some on my cell phone. I called my parents twice and they did not answer. I told her I was trying to call them and wondered why she was questiong me when she was the one who isn't being trusted right now. We had already discussed the tape recording I had of her speaking with her best friend and belittling me as well as saying at the end "Tell him I said hey and that I will talk to him later." She actually had the gall to say that is not what she said or meant and that I was reading into her statement. It is crystal clear on the recorder and she didn't want to listen to it.
JH has given me a plan to follow and based on my feedback with her she said I was already doing most of the things needed. There were a few LB i was throwing thought that I need to work on.