Ok, well, H did go ahead and gave me (two) passwords to two of his emails (yes, there are others, but I was given these so far.
Anyway, when I went into them the first few days, the bulk folder was crammed-packed; and yes, I sorted thru all of it to get clues as to what he has been receiving and being tempted by.
Anyway, as of last week, he suddenly doesnt get anymore bulk items....none. These are in Yahoo accounts.
Seems he turned spam guard on and that keeps the bulk folder completely empty always.
So, I go in and turned it off.
This am it is back on again.
Does this seem like a red flag??
Why turn it off if there is nothing to hide??
I think a lot of online infidelity stems from the bulk folder offers.....maybe why he turned it off??
What does it sound like to you? Should I be worried? Or should I just let it go??
To me, it feels like things are being hidden from me again. It just doesnt feel right. So, what is the use for me to even have the passwords??
Do I just keep going in and turning it off??
Thanks for the support.
BTW, I am losing the baby <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Turns out it is a blighted Ovum and I will miscarry anytime <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I am so heartbroken <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I just didnt need anymore heartbreak <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Well, I don't think you need anyone else to tell you an answer to a question THAT YOU ALREADY answered for yourself above.

Lem

Trust your instincts chere!! But what is it a red flag FOR? Well seems to me he recognizing how bulk mail can be a temptation too and is making an effort to stop it before he sees it!! Thank him for turning it off.

I am very sorry to hear that news.

First, I am sorry to hear about your loss with the baby. I had a miscarriage just 3 months after d-day. I thought my pain and suffering from my FWH affair might have caused it. It is a tough thing to go through on top of everything else going on.

I agree with starfish. I think that shows he is trying to stay away from temptation. That is a good thing, right?

Emma...

I do not know all of your story, but yes, it does *seem* suspicious...especially with your gut feeling and only being given some of his passwords...How about trying a keylogger...this would give you EVERYTHING...if that isn't possible, then yes, keep turning the filter off...

Computer gurus around here may be able to give you some better input...

I am so very sorry to hear of the coming miscarriage...No, you don't need more heartbreak right now...NOT AT ALL...(((((emma))))) My best friend just found out that she is not pregnant after IVF...she's been through a lot already down that road...something I said seemed to offer her comfort, I hope that it may do the same for you...This baby isn't the one that God intended you to have...He isn't yet finished with the incredibly special one that is to be yours...no matter how that may come about...naturally, IVF, adoption, etc...only He knows...and He does know...and He knows best...Look to Him for strength...He will not fail you...

Prayers are being sent up for you...


Mrs. Wondering

Well, I should clarify that I understand why you feel the way you feel about something "not being right"....and in reality it probably has nothing to do with the bulk mail thingy. The fact that there are other email accounts and other passwords out there makes this bulk mail issue really negligible....well at least to me. I guess it is in the eye of the beholder.

I guess I can see why (well, thinking about it...NO, I can't possibly understand how anyone can see this as a "goodsign"...I'm clueless I guess) the others would see this as some "good sign" that he is protecting himself from temptation....I certainly don't..but whatever..

I will just say that I understand why you may feel that something "isn't right".

Goodluck

Emma,

First let me say how sorry I am for you concerning the miscarriage. How much misery can we take?? My heart goes out to you.

Secondly..""gave me (two) passwords to two of his emails (yes, there are others, but I was given these so far.""

This right here is the red flag! Giving you two emails to play with while the other accounts are off limits??

What is the reasoning for not giving all the passwords?? He should be soo transparent!!

k

Hi Emma
I am so sorry that you have all this to deal with. Before dday I thought my miscariege would be the worst thing that even happened to me. Its very emotional and with everythign else you are dealing with you will have to be strong. Very well meaning and wonderful friends said that to me too about this not being the baby God intended for me when I lost mine and I wanted to cry out "I wanted THIS one" but 2 months later I was preganant with my beautiful girls (twins no IVF). The ones I was meant to have I guess.

I think I will always have an angel in heaven waiting for me. I am so grateful for my healthy babies and I wish so much the same for you. Stay strong.
HF

What kind of stuff was in the bulk mail folder that you did see before he turned the filter on? I have a Yahoo account and I just get stupid stuff about investments and viagra, most of it in broken English. Did he have porn stuff in there? Sorry if I missed this information in a previous post.

I am so sorry about your baby. Tomorrow would have been my little boy's due date.

I know exactly what you mean - he is just the baby that I wanted, and no one can ever take his place. Your baby is special, too, and God will give him or her back to you someday, perfect, and not blighted.

The waiting is hard, but try to take care of yourself anyway. Prayers for you....

Thank you all, first of all for being so kind and supportive over this impending miscarriage. The loss is very huge to me. It is surreal, that is for sure...and heartbreaking.
Well, B4 I noticed the filter turned ON, I noticed a ton of porn type invites; plus a ton of dating sites advertisements in there.
Why do porn sites and dating sites come up in those things?? I can see dating sites being a bit random in everyones accounts; but what gets me are the porn ones; especially the web-cam invites, things like that. In my mind, I would think you would need to participate in a few to get more invites like that. I have over 3,000 bulk messages in my Yahoo....I sorted thru it and did find a handful of dating service ads, but I never got any porn invites. Very, very odd to me.
Thanks for all the support everyone. I am so blessed to have found this site.

My sympathies on your heartbreak. I wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy.

I do wish to point out that yahoo accounts are notoriously spammed by webcam,porn, and dating sites without a person having been a part of any of that type of online activity. All it takes is for them to find your email online (and there are dozens of ways to do so) and BAM! You are on their mailing list.

I think you need to stop being afraid and simply ask your husband why he is turning on the Spam Guard. Keyloggers are easy to use and very good for catching things. There are even free ones (like the one I used). Problem is making sure your antivirus software doesnt detect them. A keylogger is how I found out about my FWH's affairs.