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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 31
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 31 |
In my original post I am being advised to expose my WS EA to my children (15 & 17). To me that seems to go against the rule of protection and would cause pain to my children. Can I get some more input here and ideas of how much of the EA should I actually expose. My daughter is coming home this weekend and will likely want some answers. Thanks to all
BS: 41
WS: 41
MARRIED: 21
1DD: 19
1DS: 15
D DAY: MAR 10'06
D: HE IS ON THE VERGE OF FILING
CURRENT STATUS: TRYING TO START PLAN A
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025 |
same thing here...keep it intact.
The pain is already being felt and the denial in the household is not healthy. Think how crazy you felt being lied to the last 12 months or so, that is how they feel. Honesty is a better than feigned protection. They also should know the facts that effect their lives.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
I went back and read some of your previous posts. Since your husband is not in the home, then it will be hard to keep it a secret that there is a problem.
A few weeks ago on his Radio show, Dr Harley said that older teens should be told. He said that even if the A is over they should be told. He said this would help them take better precautions in their on marriages later on.
If the A is over and the couple are working together on recovery, a lot of people don't tell their chldren. If the A is active and/or one spouse has moved it out, it would be hard for the children not to know something is going on.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
the rule of protection is about spouses not children....but what about the rule of honesty?
You're not going to fool them. And they could be your greatest supports and allies against the affair.
They're old enough to learn from this.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Laura, Dr Harley would strongly advise you to tell your children. They have a right to know since this effects this life very much. Kids can handle the truth, they can't handle lies and deceit.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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