Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1625273 03/31/06 11:31 AM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
I got an interesting email from my oldest daughter today.

I haven't spoken with my STBXW in a while.

Daughter said STBXW was very upset yesterday. She confessed to both D's that she had been having an A with our dentist and that his W had been "told" about them via an anonymous tip. Darling Dentist dumped her.

Ain't that a kicker? It explains a lot, doesn't it?

Daughter says STBXW insists it started after we separated, but somehow, I have my doubts.

You know, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. A whole lot of things are starting to make sense...

Low

Last edited by LowOrbit; 03/31/06 11:33 AM.
LowOrbit #1625274 03/31/06 11:37 AM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
it's really mostly a kicker for the kids

what a bunch of adult garbage for these kids to be burdoned with......

you should both be upset over how this impacts them...

don't ya think low.......


ARK

LowOrbit #1625275 03/31/06 11:38 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
get a new dentist

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Pepperband #1625276 03/31/06 11:54 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 323
I
Member
Member
I Offline
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 323
Wow, I am sorry for everyone involved LO.

Even if it was after your separated (which I agree with you, very doubtful) what about the married dentist?

It still make her the OW and this is just as bad as cheating on your spouse. She knew OM was married and had an affair with him.

I guess this may explain why things ended for you like they did. Good luck to you, these things are not easy.

IHadEnough #1625277 03/31/06 11:57 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204
Wow Low...

I would bet the EA started before she left....and would explain ALOT of her behaviors, but because it was an EA, a friendship, she doesn't believe it was an affair before she left.......

I am sorry about this...

Does this change anything?


Dorry (aka Deeplysorry)
me FWW - EA/PA fall of 2004
FWH EA/PA late spring 2005
Got our acts together July 2005 and started recovery.

The Recovery Guide for WW's (Wayward Wives)
Dorry's Story

[color:"blue"]Excuses are easy...change is hard....[/color]
dorry #1625278 03/31/06 12:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
It was SOOO deceitful...not surprising, I know...to have you thinking that it was "ALL ABOUT YOU"...Yuck....

Double Yuck..to do to another person..the same that was done to you...

and her being such a "church woman"..Third Yuck...

YUCK..YUCK..YUCK....

Last edited by mimi1254; 03/31/06 12:19 PM.

I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
mimi_here #1625279 03/31/06 02:46 PM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 270
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 270
Low,

I am sorry to hear that for everyone involved and I hope it gives you some answers and some peace in your heart.

It's also just shocking and sad that someone who understands the pain of an A would start one up herself.

It's nice that your daughter seemed to ask whether it started after you two separated, because it shows your daughter's concern for you & the family. However, even if that is true, the dentist was/is M'd. I'm not a parent, but I would talk to my daughter about that and try to explain why that is not a good thing and how much pain it causes for everyone involved.

Best of luck to you LowOrbit.


Nev
ark^^ #1625280 03/31/06 02:52 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
I'm sure they're quite upset about it, ark...I'll comfort them as best as I can. Oldest will likely come to SA to live with me this summer...winter...whatever it's gonna be.

Both of the kids are essentially adults...young women with good heads on their shoulders. Yes, this sucks for all of us.

Pepperband #1625281 03/31/06 02:57 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
Quote
get a new dentist

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Working on that...right after a new apartment, new car, etc...

Weird, I almost feel a giddy sense of vindication. I'm not hurt anymore. I'm not angry (well, maybe a little).

I do have a sense of what she's going through...but she's not going to be able to count on me to help her through it.

I hope she learns her lesson and has a good life. I'm looking forward to living mine.

Low

dorry #1625282 03/31/06 02:59 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,262
Quote
Does this change anything?


Actually, dorry...it changes nothing other than I can rest a little easier knowing our demise wasn't entirely my fault.

LowOrbit #1625283 03/31/06 03:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,387
I'm sorry on the one hand that things turned out this way. On the other I'm glad that you now understand what happened.

I hope you have a great life! You have wroked hard on yourself.


cc

"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
LowOrbit #1625284 03/31/06 03:08 PM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
Well, I'm sorry to hear it LO. But it sure does explain a lot.

Say, wasn't there strong suspicion about an A she may have had years ago on some trip?

That that ever get confrimed? If so, that might even explain the rest...

With prayers,


"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan

"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky

WS: They are who they are.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
Pepperband #1625285 03/31/06 03:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
2
Member
Member
2 Offline
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Quote
get a new dentist

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I know what happened...

Instead of dialing that 800 number, she musta punched 1-800-aff airee! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

LowOrbit #1625286 03/31/06 04:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
Low,

Its a kicker alright.

""I haven't spoken with my STBXW in a while.""

Might she be contacting you soon? For any # of reasons?

k


CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
krusht #1625287 03/31/06 06:42 PM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Well Low, she's got some chit to go through now, just like you did, like I did, like we all do, did, will.

I'm glad of your attitude "I've got a great life ahead of me"

Yes, you do!

LowOrbit #1625288 03/31/06 07:32 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
Quote
get a new dentist

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Working on that...right after a new apartment, new car, etc...

Weird, I almost feel a giddy sense of vindication. I'm not hurt anymore. I'm not angry (well, maybe a little).

I do have a sense of what she's going through...but she's not going to be able to count on me to help her through it.

I hope she learns her lesson and has a good life. I'm looking forward to living mine.

Low

Low

I apologize for my giddy glibness ... my only excuse is the cold medication I slugged down earlier today .... I'll have you know I typed out a MUCH WORSE response ... then thought better of it ... :hint: the word dental drill was mentioned <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

pass the Nyquil

mea culpa punna

LowOrbit #1625289 03/31/06 08:19 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
Strange mix of emotions, isn't it.

Discovering your S (or STBXS) has been involved in an affair is so shocking, on one hand......

And on the other......

Such a relief to know you WEREN'T imagining things, ALL at fault for the past, and you're not crazy.

Nerlycrzy #1625290 03/31/06 08:35 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
Wow Low,

I feel sorry for your D's. I feel sorrier for your STBXW, because she may well be the reason two families fail. I recall when you came here and how hard you worked, and now the truth is revealed. I guess the good news is you can go into the future knowing you gave it your best shot, and that with her A going on, and you are probably right before you two split, you really had NO CHANCE of making it work.

Sorry to hear this, but I am glad you know understand the real situation.

God Bless,

JL


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 551 guests, and 86 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire, vivian alva
72,031 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0