Alcohol , Drugs, Others, work and more work,
I believed through all these things you needed me.
Though times are tough, belief was slow to surrender.
I do try to reach you, confused as I am, I love you that much.

I am there for you no matter what you need
I gave all I thought I had to give. and I gave so more

I just wasn't enough.
Never enough.
What was wrong with me?

I come to find out what is wrong with me
is trying to give you something I can't give.
Something that was never mine to give
Something you have had all the time

God gave it to you when you were only seven
God gave it to me when I was twenty-five
Then since we both have it why do we keep looking
Alcohol , drugs, others , and work ,work work .

I can't give you what is not mine
God can give you all that you need
I am just not enough.
Never enough.

I believe God weeps when he hears
his creation saying
they are not enough...

He hears that he was wrong,
defective,
not whole,
incomplete,
that he would make a being not enough.

He mourns the loss of something
he made so lovingly, marvelously,
choose to believe
something of him
and his power...

He questions for a moment
if by making us only in control
of ourselves,
did he create the desire
to fill others instead
of themselves,
who are already overflowing?

Was the respect he bestowed
of pure choice,
so that we could be free
to choose him,
or not,
too much for humans to bear?

So he sighs, and knows,
as he has before beginning
and will after end,
that this was the only way
his complete creations
would journey to believing
they are enough;
always were and always will be.

There is no emptiness in the heavens
or on earth...
no voids anywhere,
but in our perspectives.

LA

LA i hear you .
This came from trying to be all for H but relizing that I can only be somethings to him and trying to understand where my roles are and ONLY GOD can help him . That is where never enough comes from.
I do have issues with understanding and believing that I am who God says I am . and have all that I need to be who I am suppose to be.
I ( we) have been doing marriage wrong for over 25 years and I am trying to correct it.
He is trying to understand there is any problem to begin with.
When you give and never take it makes the other one be more the reciever and content at that.
So here we are....

IHS,

I hear you, also. I know where you're at in the present and remember how hard that present was.

I just read your post on verbal abuse in Other Topics. There are many spouses here on MB dealing with abuse...I consider A's as abuse, also.

Let me ask you to do two things...get "Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud & Townsend...find out about being complete, your job, comes before making your H complete...

And second, please do not view that you both have been doing marriage wrong for over 25 years...this judgment is like acid on your soul and a DJ to your H.

You are both on a journey, some of which you share...all that you did was necessary to get where you are now. All of it.

You can read these posters for more on VE abuse (verbal and emotional abuse); Jwoman, LLG, ConfusedAgain, Infernomatic, DazedandConfused...lots more, can't think of them.

They are on similar journeys, like you. Kg3 and LLG, especially. Not getting God's design, your own creation, and believing you are who God says you are. You're not alone. We are on separate journeys, which overlap, parallel and look darn near the same one at times.

Invite others into yours and you, into theirs. Like you are doing here on MB.

Read The Verbally Abusive Relationship...with an eye to how you abuse and are abused. Find out the standard for humans you might have had is much higher and lower than you had it. Open yourself up to seeing all humans as separate and equal...know your limits and power. And see that pleasing/giving is abusive.

Your choice.

LA

that's very emotional, nice poems...