I just read Plan A and B....and am now totally panicking about selling our house. What if we never live together again??? And what emotional needs is she meeting?? Cant be sex....personal reasons...he said he just got tired of me telling him what to do. I always thought I was taking care of him but I guess he felt like I was mothering him, maybe??I think I'm probably more attractive than her, and younger..I still have a good figure....I think I'm a nice person and good company...I just keep trying to figure it out....
I think he's away on a weekend trip with her.
Also, my cat fell in the pool last night and when I woke up she was drowned....it was horrible! What a bad week....I'm screaming angry one minute and in hysterical sobs the next.

Teresa

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}} from someone sad to see you in such a painful place.

Don't fret over decisions already made. Your house is sold. That is the reality to deal with. It is what it is.

Direct your energy to what you should be doing now.

I can offer you support and encouragement but have no insight into your situation. My h quickly chose to stay home after I found about his long-term affair. Your situation is different. Your h is in affair fog. But it isn't reality. It is a fantasy relationship.

Post on General Questions. It is a much busier board and you'll get some great advice. Also, read as many threads as you can to get insight from other people's situations. Find some voices that make sense to you and then follow their advice around the board. Post to them directly. Call out their names!! Ask directly for their advice.

Use the search feature to find threads similar to your situation. If you can afford it, begin individual counseling with someone pro-marriage.

Now here's some advice you probably already know. You have to remember to take care of yourself. Eat, sleep, vitamins, exercise. You need every ounce of energy to face your situation head-on with strength and positive energy.

{{{{{{{{{{teresa}}}}}}}}}} I am also very sorry to hear about your cat. I know I would be devastated. I love my animals.
hang in there!! remember to be good to yourself.

hns

Teresa-

Does that mean that your house is already sold?

When is D-day?

You can't torture yourself with images of them and comparing yourself to the OW! It's a recipe to get you feeling worse about yourself. IT's NOT your fault! You H made the CHOICE to have the A, not you.

There are people like you and I who took our marriage vows seriously. That no matter how tough gets, we chose to not take the easy way out with an A.

Pull yourself together. If you have to, ask yourself what would you do if your H died suddenly? I know it's morbid. Sorry. But if that's what going to get you moving then, start planning.

1. If you haven't sold the house, can you afford to stay in it?

If so, then start doing.

You can't force or control your husband's actions, behavior and emotions. But YOU can control yours. You hold the key to that power, NOT HIM!

Former First Lady, Nancy Reagan was once quoted: "A woman is like a bag of tea. She doesn't know her strength until she's poured in hot water."

Good luck,
Stargazelily

Me: BS 46
WH 42
M 3yrs