This is a difficult letter for me to write. I have written this letter with the true love only a wife can have for a husband. Please read every word I have written, it is from the heart.
I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the loss of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed all this trauma to happen. I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a mutually satisfying way. I feel I have been learning ways to be the type of woman I hope you would be proud to call your wife, as I have so many times felt much pride in calling you my husband. I so want to put the past behind us, and build a better life together for us and the girls.
I can commit to a marriage based on honesty, openness and mutual respect and care for the other's well-being. I can commit to marriage with you on those terms - I cannot commit to a marriage on terms other than those.

I have thought about my mistakes and I am willing to work hard to correct them and create a new life for both of us that will meet both our needs. I cannot continue to do that until you make changes in your life and to your relationship with Becky and all other relationships and emotional commitments which require you to maintain a secret second life that takes away from our marriage, and family for once and for all. I love you and I want our marriage to work but in order to preserve my love for you I am no longer able to maintain contact with you until there are changes to benifit our family. This is not to punish you, it is to protect my feelings for you and our chances at reconciliation. My heart cannot bear anymore pain. If we continue as we are now, there would be nothing left.

Until then, I will need to avoid seeing you or talking to you. I will also not be able to help you as much financially in meeting all of our current obligations. I will continue to pay the mortgage and the other things I have assumed, but I will not be able to pay for your truck and trailer ins or for your cell phone. You will have to cover those yourself. I will be cancelling them within one wk. Untill you change your address, I will leave your mail in the box. If you need to communicate with me regarding Taylor or any other matter, it should be through email, unless it is an emergency involving Taylor, in which case I will take your call. For game schedule, the number for her coach is

I have tried the best that I know how to express my love for you and my desire to have you in my life as my husband again. I don’t know what else to say. I could hold on, make a nuisance of myself but I love you too much to cause you anymore pain than I already have. I just really needed you to know how much I still love you and how sorry I am for all the mistakes that I made. They say that we should learn from our mistakes, and I know that’s true but I just wish the lesson didn’t cost so much.
I loved you when we met and I love you more today than I did when we first married. I am dedicated to make our marriage a place you will really want to be.

Julie

Julie, that is an excellent letter. The only change I would make is allowing him to email you freely. I would not leave that option open as he will quickly learn to abuse it and keep you roped in, defeating the purpose of Plan B. I would only allow contact in the case of emergencies.

He will try to get you to break your word and allow contact again, so please brace yourself for that eventuality. He will test you to see how serious you are because he will not losing control. If he can get you to break Plan B, it will greatly diminish your credibility and any remaining leverage you have.

Are you fully prepared to go DARK? Have you read up on Plan B and fully understand its intent?

Julie,

Listen to Melody's advice, but would you mind editing out the coach's number from your post? I am just paranoid like that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Do you think these rivisions are ok?? If I do not go dark now, there will be nothing left of me to give.

I am tired, I feel like a beaten dog.

This is a difficult letter for me to write. I have written this letter with the true love only a wife can have for a husband. Please read every word I have written, it is from the heart.
I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the loss of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed all this trauma to happen. I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a mutually satisfying way. I feel I have been learning ways to be the type of woman I hope you would be proud to call your wife, as I have so many times felt much pride in calling you my husband. I so want to put the past behind us, and build a better life together for us and the girls.
I can commit to a marriage based on honesty, openness and mutual respect and care for the other's well-being. I can commit to marriage with you on those terms - I cannot commit to a marriage on terms other than those.

I have thought about my mistakes and I am willing to work hard to correct them and create a new life for both of us that will meet both our needs. I cannot continue to do that until you make changes in your life and to your relationship with Becky and all other relationships and emotional commitments which require you to maintain a secret second life that takes away from our marriage, and family for once and for all. I love you and I want our marriage to work but in order to preserve my love for you I am no longer able to maintain contact with you until there are changes to benifit our family. This is not to punish you, it is to protect my feelings for you and our chances at reconciliation. My heart cannot bear anymore pain. If we continue as we are now, there would be nothing left.

Until then, I will need to avoid seeing you or talking to you.

I will also not be able to help you as much financially in meeting all of our current obligations. I will continue to pay the mortgage and the other things I have assumed, but I will not be able to pay for your truck and trailer ins or for your cell phone. You will have to cover those yourself. I will be cancelling them within one wk.

I do not beleive we need be together to do the taxes w/ Joe. I will handle my end and sign as you should do the same.

Untill you change your address, I will leave your mail in the box.

If you need to communicate with me regarding Taylor or any other matter, it should be through Mel, unless it is an emergency involving Taylor, in which case I will take your call. On your wkends w/ Taylor she will meet you outside at 6:00 Friday eve. I will be waiting for her return at 6:00 Sunday eve, untill school ends then will expect her return at 8:30 Sunday eve.

I have tried the best that I know how to express my love for you and my desire to have you in my life as my husband again. I don’t know what else to say. I could hold on, make a nuisance of myself but I love you too much to cause you anymore pain than I already have. I just really needed you to know how much I still love you and how sorry I am for all the mistakes that I made. They say that we should learn from our mistakes, and I know that’s true but I just wish the lesson didn’t cost so much.
I loved you when we met and I love you more today than I did when we first married. I am dedicated to make our marriage a place you will really want to be.

Julie

If "the box" is on the property where you will be living ... I suggest you change this a littlle bit ...tell him his mail will be handed off to a 3rd party ... like a neighbor or a friend or a relative .... less excuse to have him come near your home on the premise of some mail issue.

Pep

hi pepper,

H and I talked for along time last night. He said he does not believe in such a thing as an EA. He feels badly for the other woman. I said you are hanging around w/ another woman who despises me. His reply was "can you blame her?" He turned every word I said into something else and was angry, I mean angry. I don't understand. He has reinvented denial. Fog??
Thank you for your advice.

I will send the letter this pm.

Julie

Hi Julie,

I've been so busy, I haven't been following lately...

How are you doing? I hope you're OK...