I need help understanding something since W doesn't confide in me.....<P>We had a conversation on Friday night that contained a few LBs. During that talk, W said that if she could make the divorce happen tomorrow, she would do it. I asked her that if her feelings changed about that, would she promise to let me know and she said she would. I asked her that if she felt that way, why did she want to continue joint counselling and she said that she had made a commitment(therapist asked her to commit to 10 sessions, funny, though, she didn't ask me for the same).<P>Starting Saturday night, she started showing little signs of affection that haven't been there for two months. Nothing major, just affectionate touching at times.<P>We have both been having trouble thinking up minor conflict issues to use in the "paraphrasing" exercise that the therapist asked us to practice. Last night W indicated that this is troubling her(trying to think of issues). I told her that if she still felt the same way she did on Friday night and if the exercise(s) we were doing were causing her great distress, that she didn't have to continue. I said that I wouldn't "throw it back" at her if she did decide not to continue. She really didn't have a response to that, she just looked at me.<P>She has been looking troubled most of the week, but attributes it to being "tired". She also hasn't turned in the financial statement paperwork to her attorney yet. In CO, within 20 days of the filing of the divorce petition, you must exchange financial information in the form of a financial affadavit. When I asked her if she had returned the paperwork yet, she said she hadn't. I reminded her that there was the 20 day deadline and she said something about it not being up yet. I told her that the petition was sent to the court on Sep 9, and would have been filed a very few days after that. She just said "Oh".<P>My question is this: Since she isn't telling me at all how she feels or what she is saying, do any of you have the experience in this area to tell me what may be going on with her?<P>I have thought that maybe the affection is just her way of making her life more pleasant during the divorce process. It is possible that she might be rethinking how she feels about the divorce, but she had promised to let me know if her feelings on that changed at all.<P>Am I the "whack-a-doodle" here?

Dear Heartpain,<BR> I don't want to give you any false hopes but it sounds like she may be re-thinking this whole divorce thing and is not really in a rush to get it over with. Sometimes we women make idle threats like she did on Friday just to get a response from our H. To me it sounded like she wanted you to say you didn't want to rush the divorce. That's the tactics I use anyway. Some of us fight back in strange ways sometimes and don't always say what we mean. Her obvious procrastination of filing the financial papers could be a sign she's not really ready to go that far. Don't push her and you might get pleasantly surprised. Also her subtle displays of affection are encouraging. Hope this helps a little.

HP,<BR>I think she is starting to have a little reality check.... Don't push her, Major plan A right now..... Filing for Divorce is like being on a jury for a murder trial, If there is a shadow of a doubt, Don't do it!!!<P>Plus, if she truely didn't care about you would she still be going to counseling, Promise or not????<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>