Do you know he had an affair? You got proof. Why do you need him to confirm it?
The proof is for you, not him. He knows. He was there.
You don't let it go or get over it. You know it. You know you know it.
Be present. He treats you lovingly. He has been caring and sexual with you.
You do not trust him. You fear the bottom will fall out and you will be a fool for trusting him.
No wonder you feel nutsy right now.
Trust is in your hands. Either you choose to give it or not.
Don't tell your H to own his affair...tell your H you do not choose to trust him. This is your choice, not his. Tell him you see him loving you, truly loving you, and it is not what you base your trust on. You love him but will not trust him.
Ask him if he wants your trust? If it is important to him? All he has to choose to do is be transparent with you. If you know where he is, who he is with, can view his cell phone and records, email passwords and accounts...then you will build your trust in him. You will know he is not cheating.
You matter. You're human. You can only control you and no one else.
I know you can do this.
"I have left it go and never really talk about it." Please also know this was your choice for three years...you did chose to let it go and not talk about it. You wanted to make your H confess. You can't. No one can. You only have the present and can choose differently. You can choose to talk about your thoughts, feelings and beliefs. They are yours. His are his.
Make them separate and equal in your mind. Because you are.
LA
