So W is on her way out town now. She calls me from the airport with a question about her flight (since she thinks of me as her travel agent).

I tell her I was just talking to a friend. She asks me if I have told him about us. I tell her I haven't and she says I can tell anyone I want to. She then says there was only one person she didn't want me to tell. OMW.

I told her I was I was sorry she was mad about that. She said I should have thought about that before I did it. I told her I did, but I had no choice. She said I did to have a choice. Then she had to go since she was on the plane so I didn't get to tell her I needed to since she was still lying and still in contact with OM.

Anyway, just some venting here - I think next time I will ask her why she didn't want me to tell OMW if, as she has said repeatedly, they were "just friends and it was nothing".

It sort of pisses me off that she even brought it up - she didn't have to and she does a lot.

I am glad she is gone until Sunday afternoon.

Against the advice of some on here, I read some of W's stuff that maybe I shouldn't have.

Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad in some respects. Mainly, it was to the effect that W thinks I betrayed her by telling OMW about her "friendship" with OM and the brief "adolescent" crush she and OM had -

Good God - she is out of her mind.

Said she called OM because I told her she couldn't. Said she would have done the same if it has been a female friend (of course, why would I care about that).

Said she took cookies like she would any friend (in 18 years, I don't think she had s taken cookies to anyone like that).

Has she lost her mind?

19, who has advised you to NOT read her stuff? You should be reading everything until she restores trust!

That all sounds like more of the same blah, blah, blah, blah. She is full of rationalizations that no one in their right mind would believe. Maybe she thinks if she says if often enough it will become the truth?

ML - Nice to hear from you,.

Someone on another thread suggested I don't ready it . It was W's journal. The only thing in it (surprisingly) was the same old sh1t minimizing what she did.

I don't know what she thinks right now. I am also getting closer to the point that I don't care (or am I just saying that? I don't know).

I am glad she is not here now. Is that good? Am I being a "wimpy guy"?????

I've been having a pity party today (to use your words) - I am tired of it.

I wonder if I could find someone else who I would be better with?

That is what she thinks, by the way - she is never wrong.

I still wish you would take the money you are paying to this IC and your MC and call Steve Harley, my friend. I think he may be able to get through to her. I also think you are not giving her enough time to come back around. She is in withdrawal. It took her a long time to get this detached frm you, she will not be drawn to you overnight.

And no, you proved you weren't "wimpy" when you told the OMW! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ML - Thanks. I was kidding about the "wimpy" thing - I can't let that go - I hope it's not "me thinks thee dost protest too much...." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> As I have told you before, your "to the point" posts have helped me a lot.

I think the MC actually helps - he tries to tell her what she has done - he tries hard - he gets in her face in a nice way. I am not sure anyone could do much better - but - I may see if she would talk to Steve since we have to skip MC this week due to child school issues

IC costs very little (great insurance). MC is expensive, but money is not why I have avoided Steve. It really is more that I don't want her to know I am on this board as much as I am. She would look. She has looked. Don't know if you noticed, but I changed my signature a couple of weeks ago. That's why.

Also, I am venting here - as you suggested. I know it will take time and I am willing to give it time. Thanks for reminding me of that - I probably need to hear it periodically. I tend to be impatient and the last 3 weeks have been the worst. I am not in a rush, however.

Sorry 19,

I don't think it is him now. I think it is HurtinginCali's H.

beauty - That's interesting. I sort of wish my W would post here for the same reason - BUT - I don't want her to see what I post.

I say things here in venting that I might mean when I say them but maybe not an hour later. It helps me avoid LB's.

From what I recall, you don't seem to vent as much, so maybe that's OK.

I will tell you that I changed my signature to almost nothing just in case and when I changed it, it automatically changed it on all my posts.

Do you want me to go on there and tell him what an idiot he is for doing what he has done and treating you so badly?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

beauty - I see what you did over there by the way .... haven't had time to read some long posts.

I saw you posting to a friend and venting pretty good with him. That's ok, I'm sure sad that you are going through such a mess. I am glad that you have someone to relate to.

Beauty - Thanks. You are someone that I have related to since the beginning. Thank you. Please let me return the favor. OK?

You know I think your cool... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Just wish I could make it all disappear. like it never happened...

Wouldn't it be nice if it had never happened? Wouldn't it be nice if they had been more honest about their needs and what they needed so we could have tried to work on it before they had to find someone else? Sure would have been easier to do it that way ....

P.S. You know I think you are cool too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Need some advice -

So W is coming home tomorrow from a long weekend. When she comes home from her trips I almost always go into the airport and meet her when she is walking out.

The last time I did it, of course, we had a great night and then she called OM 2 days later and kept calling him for another 6 weeks or so (lying to me the entire time that she was not).

I really don't feel like going in this time (I really feel like telling her to get a cab but I won't do that). I really wish she were staying longer. I don't have any overwhelming desire to see her right now.

So, a question: do you think I should suck it up and go inside when I really don't want to?

Go and be NICE. Tell her how very much you missed her. And then give her some nice flowers for Mothers Day. BE NICE.

How nice? (you had in all caps). Nicer than normal? I feel like a doormat when I am nice now -

You do recall that over the past 3 weeks or so she has been totally unaffectionate (intentionally - even less that normal) and has only slightly responded when I have been nice. She's trying to make a point -

You how hard it is to be nice under those conditions? (I know you do - that's rhetorical -

You didn't like the cab idea - that's how I could send a message -

lol, no I don't like the cab idea, you dork! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Be REAL NICE. You have missed her!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have? why do think I've missed her? I am actually having a great time with 6 year old son watching Secret Squirrel - after a couple of beers, it's pretty good

I have not missed W - I wish I had, but I really haven't.

I guess you mean "act like you missed her?"

in lieu of the cab idea, what if I showed up late and told her I forgot she was coming home?

(not the time, the fact that she was coming.....)

do you like that better than cab?