think on this for a minute.....

i would take her somewhere you would take a girl you met and wanted to go out and have fun.....pizza...beer...darts...pool...etc...

NO relationship talk...keep it happy...keep it simple...

YOU will not romance her back into loving you right now...dont even try...just take her somewhere fun and simple...just like you would on a first date somewhere that you wanted to SHOW OFF YOUR CHARM!!!

oh yeah...and laugh alot...smile alot...show her YOUR happy!!! remember...GAME ON, even when you dont feel like it!

yeah im stuck in this funk of i don't know what i want either i've had this last month alone and now im kinda used to it and want to see what single life is like.

but then i miss being married and miss her and my other two kids a great deal.

i just hope shes not playing mind games again cause if so than i will defenitlly will continue w/ the divorce also if shes not willing to put forth the correct amount effort i just dont know if i want to go threw these feelings again.

wish us luck and that we make the right decision for our family not for us as individuals.

shes just afraid of not getting that feeling again. and im afraid that she will waiver again.

You shouldn't have to go through these feelings again. You are right on....she has to put forth the correct amount of effort. It is a two way street. You BOTH have to fight for the M TOGETHER. IMO, until she gets this, it's not worth fighting for.



As I said previously, this is fog talk. Don't believe it for one second!! She CHOSE to lose the feeling it didn't "just happen". The feeling is still there, she just can't see it through the fog.

Also, I agree with sturg, go and have a great time and laugh, smile and be happy!!

--CO

sup sturgis was wondering when you where going to chime in yeah i think i'll take her somwhere interactive i like that not just a regular dinner type thing.

i'll do my best to be my best it maybe hard but i gotta go latino on her [censored] take her back to my ol' skool ways like when she 1st feel for me and show her the best time.

then cut her loose and tell her this is what she missed out on.

j.k.

2 words. Put Put. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Y'all have a Dave & Busters where you are? That might be fun....



La raza. I'm lmao.....I can picture you doing it....she'll probably respond like I do when the Wookie pulls that on me....................... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Orale! Baile todo el mundo!

was thinking o fttaking her to a piano bar sounds like fun

Love piano bars. Hilarious!

OH SEE? I'd be all over that! That sounds loverly... From a girl's pov, that is...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

also.....think on this....

you know where im at in my life right now, so ill lay this on ya..... in the dating world, one thing that i have learned is to "give the gift of missing you"....

what does that mean, you may ask????? im glad you asked....

if you come on too strong or try to push too hard, like relationship talk...deep talk about feelings, etc....you will turn her off and shut her down...

tonite.....give her what she missed about you as your M got into a rut....the fun side...the happy side....what is her main problem...she got bored, she met someone who is happy, fun, exciting....you get the picture....(i know im putting it in very simple terms regarding the A)

but your in competion of sorts...your in competition with her negative feelings towards you, with the OM. with work, family...etc....EVERYTHING....

soooo...if you keep it simple, happy, NO PRESSURE!!!! think of it as she is alergic to pressure from you of any kind.....NO relationship talk...no negativity...NO GUILT or "why, why, why are you gone" type stuff...OK....

after tonite....what will you give her????? huh??? I didnt hear you!!! WHAT WILL YOU GIVE HER????? shout it!!!!

"THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU"!!!!!!!


just play it cool and keep everything in perspective!!!

have fun with it.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

adiios compa....youll do fine!!

yes sir!!! the gift that keeps on given!!!!

went to ss baseball game just now but felt very weird about the whole thing just dont know what my true feelings are.

hey saenz,

How are you doing today? Did you guys go out to dinner or is that another night?

You said you don't know what your true feelings are, you need to explain more. Tell us what you're feeling. We want to help <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

--CO

well we where supposed to go out to nite but u cancelled it i'm just can't get past whats shes done the A and all.

now i dont look at her like a husband does a wife anymore i just can't explain it.its like when i see her i don't see my future anymore i see my past.

i know that sounds sad or what ever but i know im better off w/ out her as a wife i was never truly happy w/ her and she knows that.

i need to find somone one who i can trust and that will talk to me, a person who feels sexy around me she never felt like that she says shes not like that and i want someone who is sure of themself ana is happy w/ who they are she was never happy when she looked in the mirror.

all i know the only thing she and i did or do good is make beautifull babies togther and we make great parents.

i can't get over what she did and all the lies. i deserve better than that and im going to get myself back to being on top again and i will.

so 2 nite i will start to make my cocoon and when its complete i will shed this skin i've worn for the past 6 yrs. and emerge a better,stronger, smarter man. who women
can't resist so i hope. till then i will work on ME and take care of my kids.

and 1 day i will meet miss right again..hopefully no time soon cause i have alot of me stuff i need to do. not to mention i have to fix up this place needs a bacholer pad look i was thinking zebra strips nahhh to ghetto.

maybe i'll just get one of the interior designers from work to help redo it.

ok i have had a long mid-day here since she came and got the kids i'm going to take alittle nap. and then i'll either go play some pool, watch a movie or go to 1 of the local pubs.

i need some single friends anyone out there in the central florida area. also i need a doggiee a female boxer that why i know she will alway be faithfull to me.

need new wardrobe maybe start going to work in shirt and ties. oh yeahhh!!!!!

also start boxing to get myself to my goal wieght which im only 15 pds away from then i will put my earings back in unless they are out of fashion now?

i will how ever get another tattoo to mark this change in my life like i've done any other time a major sum,sum, happened to me..

also need to read up on architecture if my job keeps going the way it is i'll be moving up to the custom home department.

damn i don't see myself dating anytime this year.. i might need to change some stuff around.

wow i feel so much better now thanks MB. i know you'll never let me down.

update on my weekend:

sat. nite i was having a hard time being alone so i called a couple of friends and family to see if i could calm down
i guess i'm still on that roller coaster. just when i thought i was off. oh well.

sun: was great got alot of stuff done and dang if the day
doesn't go by fast when you just stay busy.

and much respect to all you stay home mothers and fathers i didn't know how hard it is to take care of kids and keep the house up, wow what an [censored] am i for not helping the the W sooner! now i know and will never take it for granted again. hope everyone has a good week.

1 day @ a time.....

Thanks for your respect! I haven't always been a SAHF, just the last 1.5 years or so. It's certainly an adjustment. If you want/need info on that area from a guys view, feel free to pick my brain. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

drex
thanks one day i might just pick your brain

No need to explain, been there, done that. Trying to overcome this very thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I realize how you are feeling now. Just remember it is a roller coaster and you will go back and forth on your choices and feelings. Just remember it will be a long, hard road no matter what decision you make.

MB will be here for you!

--CO

Great plan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />!



Another Great plan. I'm right there with you!

--CO