thats cool to hear sturg about all of it man i haven't been fishing in so long and worst of all i lve in fl. go figure.

i wish i lived closer so i could go to mexico..

and i'm just going to keep the thread the same, that way the MB's out there know that there is hope for recovery.

we're going camping in june thats going to be fun...

congrats on the 1 yr.

ok, how is everyone doing today?

i'm having some what 2nd thoughts about fixing my marriage not that i ont want too but that how do i know W isn't going to do it again. i guess we never know i hope and pray she wouldn't.

also i feel like i let myself down alittle by taking her back i always said i would never take anyone back if they had an A. but who knows?

i do know i love her but i still have plenty of trust issues w/ her. i guess that comes w/ all of this.

saenz,



I swear I wrote this same post on my thread a while back. I am right there with you on this. I also told my counselor this a while back too. I think many BS's here have said the same thing about never taking them back before it actually happened to us. I even told my H that very thing while he was having the A. He didn't get it!

All I can say for that is you and I both know what is best for the family whether we really have let ourselves down or not. Yes, we may have, but think of the future when our families are still in tact and all b/c of us!!! That is what I think of when I am at family get togethers. I think, "We are here as a family b/c of ME. I have done this." Another thing I say to myself is, "I may have sacrificed my happiness for the timebeing, but my family is happy....and MY happiness WILL return in time."

I don't know if you're Christian or not. But the Bible has helped me tremendously through this. I have had great sermons at church that have really motivated me through all of this too. My main way in getting through this is putting my trust in God. I can't trust my H at this point yet, but I can trust God and whatever he has planned for me. I know he has something wonderful planned for me and I need to allow him to work through me.

How's your W doing? Is she staying strong through this? How are the kids?

--Sarah

hey sarah,

glad to see your doing better we're all doing great just waiting to move seems like 4 ever, still have another 2 weeks before we can think about moving.

W has been great actually i just hope it lasts her mood that is. shes all gunho about everthing its like when we where 1st dating again alittle but me and my new found insecurities i sit back and wonder if her happinnes is come from being w/ me or is she still having her cake and eating it to. even though she hasn't giving me any reasons to doubt her but who really knows. all i know is i dont like feeling like i cant trust her.

Saenz,
The trust comes back with time, transparancy, consistency, mutual effort to rebuild, and just plain old willingness to believe in your spouse and marriage again. This takes time.

I am glad your W is back. Remember that the work is not done and the journey is not over. Marriage is always going to be an ongoing journey that will require effort and work in order to be successful.

Blessings,
Glad

glad, yeah i know i told her today thats its going to take time for me to be able to trust her again. i just hope it works out.

i've had a grreat past couple of weeks since shes been back im however noticing that her ex-husband is calling every other day. which is starting to get old quick its making me feel like something did happened between them while we where seperated and if thats so than its a deal breaker.

since she has professed that nothing happened between them whlie she stayed w/ him the couple of days she was out of town.

i've asked her to tell him to stop calling her cell and her unless its to talk to the kids, if not that i'd call him and i'd get to the bottom of this all.

well im going better today even though i still have some dought but i have to give her the benifit of the dought if i ever want to live a normal life. funny what you'd do for love, i just hope love doesn't hurt me again....

hope everyone has plans 4 this weekend if not you should why stay at home sobbing that takes to much its easier to have fun one have such short lives!!!!

as 4 me we'll be going to sea world as well as the beach this weekend i can't wait i used to hate going to do stuff like that now i cherrish the time i can spend w/ all my kids and W. life has shown me what i almost missed out on and i don't intend on sitting on the sidelines anymore!!!!

so as one of our fellow MB said to me: merrily, merrily, merrily, life is life is .... a great thing to have we have such little time on earth why not live it instead of watching it!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and remember God loves us!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey saenz,

How was your weekend with the family? I hope it went as well as planned. Things still going good?

This recovery thing is so hard, isn't it? It is amazing what we will do for love. I'm with you, I hope it doesn't hurt us again. I can't even imagine going through this again. I know for sure I wouldn't stay with him next time.

What do you feel when you look at your W? I'm just wondering b/c when I look at my H I feel disgust and disappointment. He really let me down. I hope I can get over that. I just don't see him as the same person and I don't feel I ever will. I guess only time will tell.

Well, fill me in on your weekend. Talk to you later.

--Sarah

I wish I had advice for you but I don't. But I am in the same place. After 17 years together he met someone else in March 06 and now wants to be with her. We have no kids but after so many years together I thought it was forever. I know this isn't helpful but it does help to know there are other people out there who have to fight every minute not to pick up the phone and beg for the "cheater" to come back. I would love to know how you are doing. Maybe we can keep each other off the phone?!

sarah

i posted on your post how my weekend went, as far as how i feel when i look at her, last week i was feeling like you,
this week after she and I had a good talk about why she had the A and what happened during the A if anything i feel better i never knew the entire story but now i feel that shes being honest but i will never know i did however let her know that if i found out that she lied to me i will leave her.

i know now that after having her out of the house 4 a month i can be w/ out her and go on, also helps to know that during that month i was asked out twice and that everyone and there mother wanted to introduce me to there friends and family members that are single when i was ready of course.

blindsided
hang in there just know that there are men out there that are faithful, i havent read your post but i will and maybe i can shine a little light on you or help you a bit or give you sum insight. good luck and remember MB is here and there is always the guy upstairs whos always ther to listen.

Hey saenz,

Sorry to hear about your weekend. But like you said, you can make it up this weekend <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I'm glad your W opened up with you about the A. It does feel good to get some answers. I know the feeling. Just be cautious b/c FWS's are good at manipulating and lying. I too told my H if there was anything else I would leave him. That actually scared him more and he held more from me. And I did find out more, much more. So just stay aware. Like you said, you will never know for sure. None of us BSs will.

I think one difference between me and you is that I do a lot of investigating and dig up my "own" problems. You don't seem to do that. Both of my revelations have been things that I dug up on my own. I just can't let things be. I have to investigate on my own. My trust for my H is zero at this point so I don't believe a word he says unless I can verify it myself! I got burned in the process but it was all b/c he couldn't be honest with me.

You seem to have a handle on things so I don't want to give you too much advice. You seem to know the routine <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />! I'm glad things are going good for you and I hope you W remains open and honest with you. It will help the recovery process along.

--Sarah

thank you kindly !!! dito

What's new saenz? I'm hoping no news is good news <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />!

Have a good day!

--Sarah

I'm getting worried..........
u ok???

--Sarah

hey all i've been busy w/ packing and all, and also trying to focus on the marriage as well as just plain busy. we're going to be moving this weekend or so i hope to a bigger and better home i almost feel like the jefferson's.

but im having trust issues w/ the people we are leasing the house from but i guess that might just be me, we've been waiting for so long to move in that at times i feel as though they're going to tell me at the last minute that they're going to just sell it instead of the lease option to buy that they're giving us. i'll keep my fingers crossed for my families sake!!

Hey saenz,

I figured I'd write you on your thread since mine is having controversy again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />!

We leave for FL on Thurs. morning and will be there till Wed. I guess it is going to be really hot there, huh? We will have a good time no matter what. I am looking forward to getting away from here for a while and just being with the family. Another family is going with us too but I think that will keep us from arguing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I have so much packing to do!

--Sarah

hola,
i just came on i was moing over the weekend, wow who was to know how much junk 1 can get in 5 yrs. well i hope things are getting better 4 you. did u guys ever make it to fl.

i just happy to be able to provide a house for my kids and W.

keep ya head up and stop by anytime!

well, i guess the dont trust bug just can't be squashed so easliy even when the WW comes back. ive had trust issues this week any suggestions?

I just read a great post on trust on Extremely Lost's thread, Saenz...

Glad you're moved...I hate moving more than death or taxes.

It's my number one.

I shudder for you.

LOL

LA